


Monochrome to Color

by Skyla_Schultz



Category: Percy Jackson and the Olympians & Related Fandoms - All Media Types, Percy Jackson and the Olympians - Rick Riordan, The Heroes of Olympus - Rick Riordan
Genre: AU, And Holly too, Angst, Chiara and Damien play the piano too, Concerts, Constructive Criticism Welcome, Deceit, F/M, Fluff and Angst, Hestia owns a sweet shop bakery thing, Hospitals, I don't know how to tag without giving spoilers, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Just Nico and Will helping each other deal with their problems, Lies, M/M, Music, Nico has suicidal thoughts in the second half, Nico plays the violin, Sad Nico, Sad Will, Sick Nico, Will plays the piano, lots of pining without admitting that it's pining, solangelo, trickery, twinkle twinkle little star, your lie in april au
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-02
Updated: 2018-10-08
Packaged: 2019-04-17 12:08:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 27
Words: 75,827
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14188650
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Skyla_Schultz/pseuds/Skyla_Schultz
Summary: "On a certain day in April,I heard the song of an Angel"Will Solace was known as the Human Metronome. He played every note on his piano exactly the way the sheet music says.Will Solace was 12 when he decided to leave the music world. The death of his father left him with a piano that he could no longer hear. Now it's been almost 3 years, and he's been living his life as a normal student. That included helping his friend Lou Ellen with playing matchmaker.Will Solace is now 14 and he has just met Nico Di Angelo, a guy in his class who plays the violin. Someone who's personality is just as reckless and unpredictable as his music.And maybe, just maybe, Nico can make Will's monochrome world finally erupt with color.





	1. Monochrome

**Author's Note:**

> This is a Your Lie in April Solangelo AU. If you've watched it you know what to expect for the most part, but I have changed things so it's not exactly the same. It wouldn't be my story if it was exactly the same. I hope you all enjoy!

On a certain day in April,  
I heard the song of an Angel  
***

“Kitty!”  
“Meow!”  
“Wait no don't run off.” _Rustle rustle._  
“I have food!”  
“Meow.”  
“Oh so that makes you stop. Well here.”  
“Meow.”  
“Yea, meow.”  
“Meow.”  
“And you're done. Wow. Someone was hungry.”  
“Meow.”  
“Wait no! Don't run off! Crazy cat. Taking food and then leaving! I want something in return you know.” _Silence._  
“Fine! I'm going to go get myself some food.”

***  
_Crash. Pain._  
_Thump Thump._  
The door to the music room opened and slammed into the wall.  
“OH NO! He’s dead!” Cries a female voice.  
“Ugh.” I force myself to get up from the floor.  
Maybe if I do this quietly…” the female voice whispered. I look towards the source and see the back of my best friend.  
“What are you doing Lou?” I slur. She freezes and turns towards me.  
“Ummm….” I reach up to my throbbing head and feel something like a liquid. I bring it in front of my eyes to look at. _Red._  
“Oh my God! Blood!” I scream.  
“You’ll be fine. You just got hit with a ball.” Lou Ellen assures.  
“Ball? How did a ball…” I looked towards the window...well broken window now. Shards of glass were littered across the floor, and a cool breeze was blowing into my face.  
“Why does Cecil always have to hit the ball so hard!? This is the fifth time this month!”  
“He really like hitting hard.” Lou replies. I turn back towards her and glare.  
“I’m guessing I have to clean everything up and report it myself too.”  
“Ummm...I’ll clean. You should get something for your head before you die from blood loss.” She walks over to the music room storage closet.  
“Yea, I’ll head to the nurse” I grumble. 

“I can’t believe they cancelled practice just because I broke a window.” Cecil complains as he kicks a rock.   
“And almost killed me,” I reply with a sour expression.  
“You wouldn’t die. It was just a little blood.”  
“You’re too nice Will,” Lou says, “You should have made this idiot explain what happened to the teacher and be made to write an apology letter. You didn’t do anything wrong.”  
“I chose to be his friend,” I say with a sigh. Cecil puts to a hand to him heart with an expression of mock hurt.  
“Actually no, you guys are more like high maintenance siblings that I have to keep watch over to make sure you don’t get in trouble and ruin your lives.” Lou Ellen gasps and brings a hand to her chest as well. I let out a laugh.  
“But really,” I continue,” I don’t mind. I like helping.”  
“Like I said. You’re too nice. I would know. I’ve known you forever.” Lou replies with a smirk. I roll my eyes.  
“But don’t be too nice Will. There are too many people in this world that would abuse it.”  
“Yea. Yea.” The crosswalk signal shows the image of a walker, and we all cross the street.  
“Well, this is where we part,” Cecil announces dramatically, “I will see you all when the sun rises above the hill and casts light once again upon…” Lou interrupts him with a peck on his lips.  
“Get going before before your mom calls the police.” Lou says starting to walk away.  
“Why would she do that?” Cecil asks with a frown.  
“My mom would call the police if she thought I was missing.” Lou continues to walk away, and I follow her leaving Cecil to think over her words.  
A few moments later I can hear Cecil exclaim “OH!” behind us. Lou Ellen and I both start laughing.  
“Honestly, what do I see in that idiot?” Lou sighs.  
“He’s a good guy. An idiot, but a genuinely good guy.”  
“I guess,” she replies with a shrug. We walk in companionable silence.  
“What about you Will?” Lou says after a few minutes. I raise an eyebrow.  
“What about me?” I ask.  
She looks towards me with a grin. “Do you have a crush on anyone?”  
“Huh?” We’re Eighth Graders, so it’s not surprising to hear someone talk about their crushes or love. But with Lou Ellen it kinda is. Sure, she’s dating Cecil, and she loved meddling in people’s love lives, but she’s never asked me about it before.  
“I was talking to some girls the other day,” Lou Ellen explains, “ and one of them said that the world is more colorful when you’re in love. You have a sparkle in your eyes.”  
“Well, I don’t. I don't even think there’s anyone who would bother falling in love with me.” Lou steps in front of me her eyes blazing and her lips turned downward into a frown.  
“No!” She yells. “Don’t talk about yourself like that! I won't allow it! You are a wonderful person, and you are not allowed to think otherwise!”  
I bow my head. “Sorry,” I mumble. There must be something that she sees in me if she’s willing to yell at me for it. I look back up at her. She has a small smile on her face. Her green eyes are glowing like little specks of gold were thrown into them.  
“You're eyes are sparkling Lou,” I say quietly.  
She tilts her head in confusion.  
“Don't lose that sparkle.” I walk past her in the direction of our houses before she has an opportunity to reply.  
***  
I don't see in color. I haven’t seen the world fill with the beautiful colors people talk about. People who are happy and feel like they have life figured out. People who wake up everyday happy that there life is there own. I've only see monochrome. Like sheet music or the keys on the piano that my dad taught me to play.  
The piano that I haven’t played since I was twelve.

“What are you doing Will?” Lou asks as she takes one of my earbuds and plugs it into her own ear. She sits down in the seat in front of me. I look up towards her, her green eyes are boring into me.  
“Transcribing music.” She turns away.  
“I don't understand why you don't just play.” I roll my eyes. If I could still play, I wouldn’t be sitting in a school classroom after school transcribing the notes into sheet music.  
“I can't hear them anymore. You know that.” I look back down to the sheet music with a frown. She does know that. She was there. The day it first happened.  
“I do,” she replies with a click of her tongue.  
“Then why ask?”  
She sighs, but stays quiet. I go back to transcribing the song. It was an upbeat song that talked about love and happiness and stuff. It was a happy song, but for some reason it sent a pang of pain through my chest. I ignored it.  
“Hey Will.” She speaks again breaking the silence.  
“Yea.” I look up from the music towards her, the song still playing through the earbuds.  
“I miss it. I miss you playing.”  
I frown. “Well, there’s nothing anyone can do about it now. I quit trying to play when I was 12. Three years ago.” I snap back. Why doesn't she just drop it? She says some variation of this every time music is even mentioned. If I could still play the piano, I would. It is pretty much all I’m good at.  
“Sorry.,” she mumbles. She sighs again and tucks her hair behind her ears. We fall into silence again. I pause the song. It was getting annoying. I can finish later. I’ll get the same amount of money no matter when I finish.  
“You know Chelsea?” Lou questions.  
I roll my eyes. “Of course I do. She's your best friend. Other than me.”  
She nods with a smile. “You know Nico?”  
“Who?” She shakes her head and sighs, disappointed etched on her features.  
“Seriously? He's in our class. He sits right there,” she says exasperated. She points to the left of my right corner seat. I follow her finger and it lands on the 4th seat from the left in the third row.  
“I don't know.” I do know. I don’t care, so I don't pay attention. I don’t care about the kid who sits in 4th seat from the left in the third row. But I can't say that. She wouldn’t be happy with that answer.  
“Pay more attention to your surroundings, Will.” She reprimanded.  
I shrug. She groans and leans back in her chair with defeat.  
“Anyways...Chelsea,” I say trying to change the subject.  
Lou Ellen huffs but continues. “They both obviously have a crush on each other, so I'm going to set them up.” She looks at me with a smug look. A cool breeze blows in from the open window and blows her hair into her face. She splutters and moves her hair out of the the way with a scowl.  
“You sure?” I ask ignoring her predicament.. I’m more concerned with her plan. She’s done this before, and out of the ten times she has, it has only worked zero times. Either the people don’t actually like each other or they do, and she soon makes them hate each other.  
“Of course. I invited them both to the park tomorrow at 2.” She announces with a smug look. Maybe she does know what she’s doing this time. Chelsea is her best friend after all. For all I know, Chelsea told Lou Ellen about her crush.  
But that still brings the question, “What does this have to do with me?” Lou crosses her legs and sets her hands in her lap. She looks at me with a serious expression. “I want you to come too?”  
I quirk my eyebrow. “Why?” She pulls the earbud out of her ear.  
“Nico...he's a musician too you know. I want you there to help with conversation. If it ever lags pick it back up again with your vast knowledge and experience with the musical arts.”  
I shake my head. “I don't want to go. This has nothing to do with me.” I turn back to my sheet music hoping the conversation is over. I do not want to join Lou Ellen with her meddling. I’ve helped her five times and now all of the people involved frown when they look at me.  
“I'm forcing Cecil to come too. You won't be alone,” Lou Ellen argues. “Besides... you need to get out more.”  
I look back up at her. “I’m out enough, and I have no interest in being a fifth wheel. Being a third wheel is bad enough!” I glare at her.  
She glares back. “You are not out enough. You’re my best friend. I know.”  
“Why? Do you stalk me?” I tease. “Watch my every move?” I laugh, and she begins to laugh as well. When the laughter dies down, I turn back to the papers on my desk. The song I was listening to was less annoying then this conversation.  
“Don’t think you can distract me,” Lou Ellen scolds.  
Darn it.  
“You’re coming tomorrow even if I have to force you.” Lou smirks and I suddenly want to run away to Canada. “And don't worry. I'll make sure you don't feel left out. You'll be Friend A. ” Oh yay! I’m a background character. So important!  
Why is she always like this? Why can’t she just let me be?  
“Friend A? Now i'm a side character in a movie? That makes me feel worse.”  
“Will!” She threatens.  
I sigh. She’s not going to drop this. When Lou Ellen makes her mind up about something, it’s almost impossible to change her mind. Thus all 27 failures in the matchmaking department. I’m surprised she succeeded on her own love life to be honest.  
“Fine,” I agree. “But if I ruin everything it’s your fault.” I turn back to the sheet music, and put the earbud Lou took back in my ear.  
“Whatever. Don’t try to bail.” She stands up and leans in close to my ear. “I’ll know,” she whispers. This is just great. Now I really want to run away to Canada. How much money will that take?  
“You know Will,” her voice has gone from creepy to worried. I look up at her. She has her back towards me since she’s now leaning against my desk.  
“What?” I reply calmly. Or as calm as possible. Why is she suddenly so serious?  
“I heard you playing the piano yesterday. That means you haven't completely…” I cut her off.  
“I wasn't playing the piano,” I assert.”I just told you I'm transcribing this song,” I point to my phone lying on the desk, “so people can play the song themselves.”  
“Then why were you using a piano,” She turns towards me. “You seem to be able to do it from a classroom.” She narrows her eyes like she's trying to catch my bluff. A bluff she won't be able to catch since I don't have one.  
“I was using it to test the sound to see if it sounded right. I wasn't playing it. More like messing with it for work purposes.”  
“There are other part time jobs you could get.” She says as she starts staring out the window.  
“Huh?” There are but why does that matter?  
“To me...it sounds like you don't want to give up. That you want to be able to play the piano again.”  
I stare at her. She looks back at me with a sad smile on her face.  
“You were really cool when you played the piano,” She whispers. “It was...it was one of the most amazing things I've ever seen. I miss it. I miss you playing. I miss seeing you with that energy. Don't let your dad steal away another thing that you loved.” She turns around and exits the room. I look back down to the sheet music scattered around my desk. I scowl and stuff them into my backpack before getting up and following her out the door.  
Would it really be stealing if he's the one who gave it to me?

My dad was was a famous musician, and he wanted me to follow in his footsteps. He gave me piano lessons everyday, and at first, I loved them. I loved how I could press a few keys and make something so beautiful. That was before Dad started getting serious.  
Each lesson started lasting hours. He would scold me, yell at me, make me practise without any breaks, even hit me when I messed up. There was no room for any mistakes. A piano is only beautiful when it’s played perfectly. And if the piano isn’t beautiful when you play it, then you can’t be great.  
“You’ll take my place as one of the most famous pianists in the world when I'm gone, Will. That won't happen if you keep making mistakes.”  
I always tried. I wanted father to be happy.  
But then, he started to grow weak. He got sicker and sicker each passing day, but he never let me off easy when it came to the piano. Instead, he became even stricter.  
I played until my hands hurt to move. I took beating after beating until I played perfectly. Just like he wanted.  
When I got my letter saying that I qualified for the elite piano competition I entered, it wasn’t a joyous moment. That was the same day that he passed away.  
I hated the piano. I hated the lessons and all of the hours I spent on it. When father passed, I tried, but eventually I quit.  
I don't know where Lou got the idea that I loved it. All it reminds me of is pain. The only reason I can think of for not letting it go is because I have nothing left. My entire life has been composed of piano lessons and competitions. There was no room for anything else.  
I can't let go of the piano. Not because I love it, but because, I have nothing else.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you all liked the first chapter. Your Lie in April and Solangelo are two of my favorite things, so I thought, "Why not combine them?"  
> It was really fun to write this chapter, and I have already written most of the rest! I just need to rewrite and edit and stuff. But I wanted to get the first chapter up.  
> If you have any suggestions please don't hesitate. I greatly appreciate constructive criticism. Please comment or kudos (or both) if you've enjoyed so far. Positive feedback will probably make me write faster.  
> I hope you all stick around. I'll try to not have large gaps between posting chapter, but you know, life.  
> Thanks for reading!


	2. An Angel's Song

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading!  
> Oh wow....this chapter got long  
> over 5,000 words  
> Hope you all enjoy!

“Ugh. Where is everybody?” I look at the time on my phone. 2:17. I'm the one forced to come here and then no one else bothers to show up on time? Was this supposed to be a prank? A joke? A late April Fools? An attempt to make me stand outside for no particular reason? Are they going to call me in ten minutes laughing?

My thoughts are interrupted by music playing further inside the park. A catchy tune is being played on a...is that a melodica? And it's being played well too. What song is this? It's familiar.

I follow the sound deeper into to the park. On my way there, I bump into something and almost trip. I look down to my feet and find... a book? Why is there a book on the ground?

I pick it up and continue walking. Maybe I can return this to the person it belongs to.

***

**_They say when you fall in love the world fills with color._ **

**_My life changed when I met him., but I wouldn’t go as far as saying it’s love._ **

**_Everything I saw, heard, everything I felt…_ **

**_The world always used to be so bleak. At one point I almost gave up._ **

**_But then I heard his song again and_ **

**_My entire world was suddenly filled with color._ **

_***_

The music stops, and the teenage boy standing on the top of a playset turns towards me. The wind blows his black hair away from his wet chocolate colored eyes. Wet?

_Tears?_

“I think I blew too hard,” he says with a cough as he wipes his tears.

“No pigeons came,” the boy crowded around the playset says.

“I told you it had to be a trumpet! That's a melodica,” the girl says next  to him.

“It was close enough.”

“Clearly not. Do you see any pigeons?”

“Hey,” the older boy says stopping their argument. “Maybe it'll work if we play it together. The pigeons might be able to hear us then.”

The two kids smile and pick up their own instruments, a recorder for the girl and a those clapper things  for the boy.

“Yea!” They cheer raising up their instruments.

Both of them climb up to the top of the playset and all three of them begin to play together.

Pigeons. Now I remember the song. _A Morning of the Slag Ravine._ The pigeon song.

A small smile comes to my lips, and I quietly hum along with them. They’re not perfect. They’re playing dollar store instruments and have never rehearsed, but...the smiles on their faces and just the sound that’s coming from them makes my chest feel lighter. How can something be so imperfect but still be beautiful?

After a few moments of them playing, pigeons begin to circle around us and soon land around the playset. The music stops and laughter comes from the two kids.

“The pigeons came!” The two kids shout.  They climb down the playset and begin chasing the pigeons with smiles on their faces.

“Thank you!” The girl yells towards the older boy as she runs off.

“No problem.” He calls back. He waves towards them with a smile until they’re a good distance away. He climbs down the playset and turns towards my direction.

He finally notices me.

“Hey!” I call towards him. He gives me a confused look before focusing on the book in my hand. A scowl appears on his features as he rushed towards me.

“My book!” He yells before snatching it from my hand before I can react. He flips the pages of the book quickly before looking back up at me with a glare. “Were you trying to steal it? You idiot! I need to write a report on this book,  and I haven’t even read it yet. What would I do if you stole it? Do you _want_ me to get an F?”

I furiously shake my head and back up a step. “No. No. No. I found it on the ground and picked it up.” I expected the person whose book it was to be happy I found it. Why is he mad? How did he go from smiling while playing his melodica to yelling at me?

Fortunately, his glare dissolves from my words, and he stares at me with an apologetic expression. “Oh. Well thanks for not stealing it then. I guess I shouldn't have left it under a tree.” He lets out nervous laughter and starts scratching his arm holding the book with his free arm. Must be a nervous tick.

His eyes then open wide like he just remembered something. “My violin! You didn't pick that up too did you?!” He asks desperately.

I shake my head. He runs past me towards the direction I came from and I follow his moving figure until he’s hidden behind the trees. _That was strange._

I shake my head. That wasn’t important. I need to figure out where Lou Ellen and everyone else is. If they really are coming, and they can’t find me, they’ll definitely say I was the one who was late.

“Hey!” I look towards the voice. It’s the boy again. That was fast. How fast of a runner is he?

“What’s up?” I ask. He stops in front of me. He looks like he’s on the verge of tears. I’ve known this boy for like ten minutes and I’ve already seen him go through at least five emotions.

“It’s gone.” He says quietly.

“What’s gone? Your violin” He nods his head.

“What am I going to do now?” He cries. He sits down with his legs crossed. I look at him. His lip is trembling along with his hands. His eyes are getting watery and I can tell that he’s trying his best to keep the liquid there. Distress.

“I could help you find it. Maybe whoever took it is still around.” That violin must be special to him. And there’s no harm in helping him. It’s much better than standing here hoping he doesn’t break out into tears. I would not be able to properly help him in that situation. Helping a person you just met while they cry is kinda awkward. I would do it without hesitation, but I would really rather not.

He looks up at me and smiles slightly. “Maybe.”

I pull him to his feet. “Come on. Let’s go find it.” _Maybe on the way we’ll find my late friends as well._

We look around the park for a few minutes. The boy is silent the entire time we’re looking. As more and more time passes, I start to get worried that we’ll never find his violin...or my “friends”. That is until he shouts,

“There. That idiot stole it.” He runs off. I look towards the direction he’s running and see three very familiar faces. I look at what’s in Cecil’s hands. A violin case. I’m going to guess and say it’s the boy’s since Cecil can’t play the violin to save his life. Or at least I’ve never seen him play the violin well. I’ve never wanted to hear the sound coming from a violin in his hands since his infamous performance in fourth grade. You have to have a certain skill to fail your first year violin class in elementary school.

The boy runs up to Cecil and roundhouse kicks him in the face. Lou Ellen and Chelsea stare in shock. The boy grabs his violin and sets it on the ground with a worried look. He opens the case and assesses the damage. For Cecil’s sake, I hope it’s okay.

Seemingly pleased, the boy sighs in relief and shuts the case before picking it up and glaring at Cecil who’s still lying on the ground. .

I walk over to them with a sigh. The glare glare that was on the boy’s face is now gone and has been replaced with confusion when he looks at Lou Ellen and Chelsea. “You people know this thief?” He asks pointing at Cecil on the ground.

I lean down by Cecil. “Why Cecil? Why?” I ask shaking my head.

“It was just lying there. I had to.” He’s going to go to jail one day for his obsessive want to steal things. I don’t know when it will happen or what he’ll steal, but it will happen. My personal theory is that he’s going create an empire of thieves and steal all of the things. Then one day the CIA will catch him and boom. Locked up in jail. It’s much more interesting that what will probably happen.

“You are an idiot.” Him doing something stupid and getting caught an hour later.

“Will,” he whines. And when he does get caught, I will not be breaking him out. He may be my best friend, but I will not support his idiocy.

Lou Ellen claps her hands and nervously chuckles. “Well now we’re all here, so that’s great.”

All? What about Ni….wait is that…?  

I lean in towards Lou Ellen and whisper, “So that's Nico?” I apparently asked her louder than I thought or Nico just has above average hearing since he’s the one who replies instead of Lou Ellen.

“Seriously Solace?” He snapped. “We've been in the same class all year. How do you not know my name? Or even recognize me.” There’s something else in his tone other than annoyance. He’s trying to hide it, but it’s there. What is it? Disappointment? Why?  

I scratch the back of my head. “Sorry. I'm not very good at remembering people.”  Hopefully that’ll be enough to diffuse his emotions. He’s just a bundle of a million emotions isn't he?

“You must be terrible at History then. Literature too,” he remarks.  

“I am more of a science guy.”

“Science is nice.” He turns away from me and looks at his watch clearly done with the conversation. He probably doesn’t care much about what I like.

“Oh no. I'm going to be late,” he cries.

“Late for what?” I ask, but he runs away before he can answer. I really am just Friend A, huh? No even less than that. Some supporting character who has one line and no one acknowledges.  

Lou Ellen answers for me, “For his concert. We're going to go watch it. Why do you think he had his violin?” Well, I guess it wouldn’t make much sense if her carried it everywhere but...

“Wait what? No. No. No. No. I don't want to go.” I haven’t stepped into a concert hall in three years for a reason. I do not want to go back now.

“To bad. You're going,” Lou Ellen asserts with no room for argument. “Now come on or were going to lose him.” Lou Ellen and Chelsea run in the direction that Nico went. I look down towards Cecil who's still lying on the ground and sigh. “Come on Cecil. Let's go or Lou Ellen will annoy us about  it for the rest of our lives.”

Cecil groans as I pull him up to a standing position.

“I think I'm going to get a black eye. He ruined my beautiful face.”

“Yea. Yea. Let's go.” If you didn’t want to get hurt, you shouldn’t have stolen his violin. Steal something like a can of Pringles or something. Something that someone will be annoyed over but not kill you for. Actually, no. That’s not true. I would probably hurt someone if they stole my Pringles. Maybe something like a pair of scissors.

Cecil  groans again, but runs after Lou Ellen and the rest. I follow after him towards the direction of the center. A stage I've been on more times than I can count of my hands. A place I thought I’d never go back to after... I shake my head.

No. It'll be nice. Being in the audience instead of on stage. It’ll be a nice change of scenery. And it's not like I stopped listening to music. I’ll just be listening to it as someone plays it in front of me.  I'll be fine.

I eventually reach the center and find everyone waiting at the doors for me.

“Slowpoke,” Nico taunts with a smile.

“I'm not slow. You're just insanely fast and had a head start.” He gives me one last look before entering the center.

“Well, I guess I should go get ready,” he says. “Don't get yourselves hurt.” He gives Cecil another glare before turning and heading towards the backstage door where the other contestants are.

“Good luck Nico!” Chelsea calls after him.

Nico stops and turns around to look at her and smiles. “Thanks Chels!” He looks at her a bit longer and then runs off.

Guess Lou was right. Maybe they do like each other.

“Everything is so formal here, Cecil whispers, “It’s like we’re in another dimension.”

“He got fifth last year didn’t he?” One voice says.

“You think he’ll do it again.”

“Only an honorable mention last time, but I’ve heard he’s improved.”

“Do you think she’ll be able to do it?” Nervous whispers surround us. The sounds eventually morph together and form a clutter of noise. I’m familiar with this. Pre-competition tension isn’t just for the performers. It’s for those that support them too.

Then one voice breaks through the rest. A familiar voice. _“This is your workplace. Don’t forget it.”_ I whip my head around searching for the voice, but the owner of the voice isn’t here.

“There’s always tension before a competition. It doesn’t matter what type of competition it is.” Lou says breaking my trance. I look at her and then back at the waiting room. Right. He’s not here. And he never will be. I’m not here to compete. I’m here to watch. Calm down Will. You're freaking yourself out for no reason.

Chelsea points to a set of doors. “Come on. I think this leads to the hall.” We follow her in and claim a line of seats near the back.

“Time to sleep,” Cecil says shutting his eyes. Lou slaps his on the head.

“Ow,” he groans. Everyone is hurting his today aren’t they?  

“At least listen for a bit before sleeping,” Lou Ellen whispers harshly. Cecil nods his head with a look of fear. Leave it to Lou Ellen to make him not do something. She’s probably the only one who can control him. It’s been that way since they met. Cecil would have definitely already have started his thievery empire if it wasn’t for her.

Lou Ellen gives Cecil a glare before looking towards me with a small smile. “There’s a nice atmosphere,” she says softly.” I haven’t felt it since...since I came to watch you play.”

I nod my head. No matter how many years have gone by, the hall feels that same way.

The smell of dust.

The cool air coming from the air conditioning set a little to high.

The lights shining down on the stage.

“Hey isn’t that Will?” A voice asks. I look towards the voice. There’s no way someone recognized me that easily.  

“Will? You mean Will Solace.” A man next to the first women asks.

“I think.”

“He’s grown up so much.” Another voice says.

“Where do you think he’s been?”

“Why did he leave? He was a child prodigy.”

“The youngest kid to win the American Protege. I thought he went overseas.”

“Why is he at a violin competition now? After disappearing for so long?”

“Is he coming back to the music world.”

Someone hits me on the head. “Aren’t you popular Mr. Ex-Celebrity?” Cecil says with a smile. I glare at him, but internally I’m thanking him a million times. It’s best if I ignore what they have to say about me.

I look past Cecil to Lou Ellen who’s sitting in between him and Chelsea. Another thing has been bugging me. “You did this on purpose didn't you?” I ask. “You didn’t tell me we were going to come see him perform on purpose didn’t you?”

Lou looks down into her lap and shuffles her feet. “Yea,” She responds. “I did. Because I knew you wouldn’t come if I told you. This is good for you.” I look at her and then look back at the stage. How could this be good for me? What good could possibly come from me watching a violin competition?

“The piano...it only ever makes you feel bad,” Lou Ellen continues softly. “I thought that being back here might change that.” I keep staring ahead. Why doesn’t she just drop it? I don’t want to play the piano again, and I know for sure that a violin competition won’t change my mind.

A buzz echoes throughout the room. The speaker turn on and a voice crackles before saying. “We will now be beginning the preliminary round for the Violin section. Please silence all phones or other devices and stay silent in order to not distract the contestants. Thank you.”

A man in a suit walks up to the stage and put a card reading ‘Number 1’ on the stand. A teenage boy and young women come onto the stage and bow. The women sits down in front of the piano and the boy positions his violin.  The audience fills with applause. Once it dies down the piano accompanist starts to play. The boy joins in a few moments later.

Beethoven Violin Sonata No. 9. The Kreutzer.

A piece I’ve learned before.

The notes flow from the instruments and fill the room. Not bad.

A different sound then fills my ears. I turn to my right. Cecil is lying back in his chair with his eyes closed letting out quiet snores. He’s already asleep?! How?

I stare at his for a few more seconds before shaking my head and looking back at the stage. Cecil will be Cecil.

I look at the two competitors. Their facial expressions. Their body movements. The way their fingers move to create the sounds. Both of them playing in harmony and creating a beautiful piece.

It’s been a long time since I’ve seen a live performance. It’s a good feeling, seeing someone so close playing. The first competitor finishes and takes a bow.

The second and third people come up and play the same song. Both of them playing really well. I look down at my hands. That used to be me. Playing up on that stage. Having people watch as my hands flew across the keys.  “It’s the same song over and over again,” Lou whispers, “This is boring.” She's now sitting next to me. When did she move?

“It’s the set piece. It’s how the competition works. How else would they score the prelims?” I whisper back.

“By seeing who sounded the best,” Lou Ellen replies as if it’s obvious.

“That would be subjective based on whether they liked the song or not. These are the prelims. They judge you based on accuracy and nothing else.”   

“Well how are they judging this? They all sound the same. They’re all good.”

“No. The first person made three mistakes. He held one note too long, one too short, and skipped one note altogether. The second person made two mistakes..” Lou stares at me in shock. I frown. It’s apparently not obvious to someone who doesn’t have the piece memorized.

“What? How can you tell? They all sound the same,” Lou questions.

“I know the piece well.”

She stays quiet for a few moments seemingly please with my answer. “What does the winner get?”

‘This competition is a new one. I think the winner gets an Guarneri.” I may not go to competitions anymore, but I still have a weird habit of keeping informed on when they happen. Why? I don’t know. I should stop. There’s no point. But for some reason...I still keep checking.

“A what?” Lou Ellen asks with a frown.

“An expensive Italian violin.” I look back up at the stage. The music began to sound off. The violinist's accompanist looks at him confused. The violinist himself looks like he’s in pain.

He missed an entire section of the song, and now he’s playing too slow.

“He messed up didn’t he?” Lou asks. I nod.  

_Come on. You can still recover._

The song ends and the applause starts. I see the judges in the front shaking their heads. Poor guy. He started off so well too.  Put skipping that much is a serious deduction. Maybe next time.

“Ahh!” Cecil screams. “Why'd you hit me Chels?” I look towards him with a frown.

“Don’t yell,” I whisper.

Chelsea sits down next to him in Lou Ellen’s old seat. “Nico’s next. You slept through everyone else, but you should be awake for him.”

Cecil nods. “I’m planning to don’t worry.”

She nods and then looks back at the stage. I follow her gaze. The card  on stage now reads ‘Number 4’. The third contestant walks off the stage with his head down along with his accompanist. Someone else passes them and comes up on stage. The fourth contestant. Nico.

He’s changed from his casual clothes of a t-shirt and jeans into a white button down shirt with black dress pants and shoes. It looks nice on him, but it also seems sorta...wrong? It’s like he shouldn’t be wearing something so formal and stiff when he’s the exact opposite. Or maybe he isn’t. What do I know about him?

“Yay,” I hear Chelsea sofly cheer. Nico takes a bow and the audience applauds like always. He rises back up and shows a small...mischievous smile? The type of smile I normally see on Cecil before he plays a prank.

What is he planning to do?

He nods to his accompanist, a young women in her probably her late 20s, and raises his violin into position. The pianist starts moving her fingers across the keys and Nico joins in with his violin soon afterwards.

He starts off just like everyone else. His fingers moving across the four strings and playing each note exactly like the sheet music says. Every single note perfect. Him and his accompanist playing in perfect harmony.

I look towards the judges and they all have small smiles on their faces apparently pleased.

One fourth of the song has gone by and not a single mistake. Not even a minor one. That’s unexpected. I didn’t expect him to be able to play this song so perfectly.

What I said before is true. What do I know about him?

But then things change. Nico raises his bow and begins to make a mistake every note. The tempo is too fast. Notes that are supposed to be held and quickly flown over. Notes that are supposed to be quick and short are help. Rests are ignored. New rests are added.

What is he doing?

The judges all look baffled. The audience gasps.

He keeps playing, completely disregarding the sheet music.

Why?

“Is this even the same song?” Lou Ellen asks.

“It is.” The song is definitely Kreutzer. The notes themselves  are the same, but if someone hadn’t told me ahead of time it would be hard to figure it out.

I look towards his accompanist and see her struggling to keep up. He must be making this up on the spot. What is he doing? He’s definitely going to lose now. He was playing the piece perfectly. Why mess everything up? Does he not want to win? Why would he not?

I turn towards the judges. They all seem to be either confused or angry. Except for one guy. He seems amused. He has a grin on his face and he’s tapping his fingers on the table.

I look back towards Nico still playing Kreutzer. No. It might be the Kreutzer, but at this point...Nico has made this song his own.

The entire audience is captivated by him.

His fingers flying through the notes. The beautiful notes being created on the spot. They stage lights shining down on him.

His playing is just as unpredictable and sporadic as he is.

I don’t know a lot about him, and our first conversation may not have been the best, but I can say with certainty that...on stage...he's an angel.

With the final notes echoing throughout the hall, the song ends and the auditorium is filled with silence as soon as they fade away. No one says anything or even moves. Everyone is still captivated on the stage like there might be more. When the amused judge from before stands up and starts clapping, the rest of the audience slowly joins his until  the room is filled with cheers and applause.

Nico looks around at the audience and gives a big smile. He bows and walks backstage along with his accompanist who still looks confused. The crowd is still cheering when he disappears backstage, Chelsea and Cecil being the loudest.

“That was awesome!” Cecil cheers.

I just stare at the stage in shock.

What? Was? That?

Why? What? How? Why?

“During a serious competition?!” I look towards the direction of the judges. One of them is shouting in anger while another two are trying to hold him back.

Someone is clearly not a fan.

“The audience is still cheering and Nico's not even in stage anymore.” Lou Ellen says.

They are. The room is still filled with cheers and whistles. I couldn’t remember this ever happening during any of the competitions he was in.

I agree with the audience. There was something magical about that performance.

But what was it? What made his performance...his string of notes made up on the spot better than the ones who played the piece the way it was meant to be? Was is just the shock factor? Or was it something else?

“You think he'll win?” Lou Ellen asks.

And there’s that question.

“Uhhh...Ummm….No.” I reply hesitantly.

“No?” Chelsea questions.

“Well, it was great and the audience loved it but that's not the point of the competition. The winner is the one who played the piece as accurately as possible. That's probably why the middle judge is angry. Because Nico didn't follow the original piece. There would be too many deductions.”

“But why? You can see that the audience loves it. That's the point of music isn't it?” Chelsea complains.

The point of music? What is the point?

“It's a competition not a recital. The point here is to be accurate. It doesn't matter how much other people like it. You can't win a competition if you don't follow the original pieces to the dot.”

But I'm pretty sure that's not what he was going for. If he wanted to win, he wouldn't pull a stunt like that. The beginning of the piece was perfect. If he tried, he probably could have won. But instead he did what he wanted. And he seemed too happy while he was playing, so he clearly knew what he was doing.

But why?

Was he just trying to please the audience?

“There will now be a 15 minute break before we continue. Please be back promptly. Entering in the middle of a performance may be distracting for the competitors”  The voice from the speaker says.

Chelsea stands up and stretches. “Come on! Let's go find Nico.” She climbs up the steps to the door with the rest of us following behind her.

“Let's wait over there,” Cecil says as he points to a less crowded area near a sitting lounge.

We walk over and wait for Nico to come out.

“Number 4 was pretty amazing wasn't he.” A voice close to us says.

“Number 4. Nico Di Angelo.” Another voice replies.

“Yea. Him. Huh? Now I know his name.”

“I'm a fan.”

“I was about to sleep, and it woke me up.”

“He's pretty cute too.”

“Good looking and talented.”

“I'll probably remember that performance for the rest of my life.”

“Wow,” Lou Ellen says, “They're still talking about Nico's performance.”

“Well, it was special!” Cecil replies.

“It was like we were at a concert instead a young musician competition,” Chelsea adds.

“It was the only one I could stay awake for,” Cecil agreed.

“It was uncool of you to sleep in the first place,” Lou Ellen counters.

“Don't yell at me. You were bored too.”

“But I didn't fall asleep.”

“You were going to.”

“Was not.”

“Were to.”

I shake my head. I hope these two never change.

I turn towards the backstage doors. They open soon later.

“Nico's out.” I say.

Chelsea looks towards him and waves. He smiles and waves back before he starts walking towards us. On his way, he gets stopped by two girls around the age of seven or eight.

“Ummm...here,” one of the girl says. She holds up a bouquet of pink and yellow flowers.

“Flowers... for you,” the other girl explains.

“We were really moved by your performance.”

“It was amazing!”

Nico leans down a bit and takes the bouquet. “Flowers? For me? That's so sweet. And these are beautiful. Thank you!”

The two girls laugh and then run off with huge smiles on their faces. Nico stands back up and stares at the flowers with a small smile.

“Ah Mr. Di Angelo,” A man says coming up behind him.

He turns towards him. “Yes,” he replies.

“The results should be posted about thirty minutes after the competition ends to allow the judges to finish.”

Nico waves his left hand. “Oh. I don’t really care about that stuff. I'm pretty sure I didn't place anyway.”

 _“It’s meaningless if you don't come in first.”_ Nothing matter unless you win. So then why is he so happy? And why did people love him so much? How can someone just not care?

“Nico. That was awesome!” Chelsea exclaims.

When did he get here? Was I really paying that little attention?

“Really?” He asks.

“Yep!”

He smiles and hands her the flowers the girls gave him. She takes them with a huge grin.

“So Friend A,” Lou Ellen asks as she moves to stand next to me, “What did you think?”

“Huh? Me?” I stutter.  Why does it matter?

“Yea! Wasn't I awesome?” Nico asks smiling.

“Ummm...well...uhhh.” What am I trying to say? Damn it Lou Ellen. Don’t put me in situations like this!

Nico's smile falters. “What did you think?” He asks less enthusiastic. I can see his hand grip his violin case tighter.

“Umm...it wasn't bad.” Wasn't bad? What is wrong with my mouth?

Nico is still looking at me pained. Why does he even care?

Just smile again. Why aren't you smiling? Be happy. It looks better on you. My opinion doesn't matter.

“I...I've never seen someone get flowers after the first part of the prelims,” I finally manage.

“Huh?” His sadness turns into confusion.

“The competition is only half over and you got flowers from two kids that you don't know. Those kids probably saw your performance and then rushed to get flowers to give to you. There was no way they brought them with them. That means that these girls felt like they had to give you something. Any performance that impacts someone that much is definitely a good one.” Nico stare at me expressionless for a few moments before giving a small smile. This smile seems different from his normal ones. It seems more...real. His normal smile then comes back, and he turns around.

“Well then, we should all  go get something to eat in order to celebrate,” he says. He takes Chelsea’s hand and they both run off.

It's like a scene from a movie. And I just played Friend A. Or maybe I was only Friend B.

***

**“Huh?”**

**“What's wrong?”**

**“That competition I was in.”**

**“The one I couldn't go to. I'm sorry Nico.”**

**“No. It's fine. You had to run the shop. And some of my...friends came.”**

**“Oh? That's good. So what's the problem then?”**

**“Apparently the audience's favorite goes to the next round as well. So they want me to go.”**

**“That's great! Maybe I'll be able to come see it this time!”**

**“Maybe. But there's one problem.”**

**“What?”**

**“The person who accompanied me on the piano said that she's never going to do it again.”**

**“Oh.”**

**“I guess that's to be expected when I'm close to impossible to follow.”**

**“That's a good thing.”**

**“Maybe. But I need a new one. Hmm….maybe… I have an idea.”**

**“You know someone who'll do it?”**

**“We’ll see. But if he doesn't agree I don't particularly care. I've never liked competition.”**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Describing how people look will always be a challenge for me won't it?  
> I'll try again next chapter.  
> Thank you all for reading! I hope you enjoyed this chapter!  
> I got sick, so while I was staying at home instead of going to school, I decided to finish this chapter.  
> Please comment or kudos if you enjoyed! Constructive Criticism is always welcome! 
> 
> This is the Pigeon song Nico and the two kids were playing if you want to check it out  
> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ceEPQCs2aOE
> 
> The song's originally from The Castle in Sky (in that it was played on a trumpet)  
> Here's a link to that one if anyone's interested  
> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NwvdAo7VSFo
> 
> And here's how Nico played the The Kreutzer (just a link to the anime version)  
> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ML6Y26B6BZc 
> 
> Compared to how it's actually played  
> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=okWr-tzwOEg


	3. Friend A

Beethoven Symphony No. 9. The Kreutzer.

Some boy. Wait. Nico. Violin.

“Ahhhhh!” Did I just scream?

“Woah!” I look up from where I'm lying down on the floor to Cecil. Why am I lying on the floor? Why are my arms and legs raised? What am I doing?

“You alright, Will?” He asks.

I sit up from my weird position on the floor. “Yea.” Why does my head hurt?

Why is the window brok….?

Piano. Sheet music. Other instruments scattered around, but organized.

Why am I here? How did I get here?

Cecil sits down on the piano seat next to me. “Seriously. I leave you here for a few minutes, and I come back to you lying on the floor looking like a dead bug screaming at the top of your lungs.”

So I did scream. I really hope no one else heard that.

I laugh nervously. “I guess I fell asleep for a few moments and saw something weird.”

Stupid violin performance messing with my head. Stupid Nico. Stupid.

“Well here,” he hands me a cold pack, “for your head. It should help.”

How does he know my head’s hurting?

Oh. Right. I got hit with a basketball during PE.  That's why my head hurts. That’s why I’m here. The teacher told me to sit out the rest of the class, and I came here.

Stupid violin performance distracting me.

Why is it distracting me? It wasn't special. Except it was.

But I shouldn't be thinking about it so much that I hit myself in the head with a ball!

I take the cool pack from him and put it in my forehead. The coldness spreads from the pack into my aching forehead. Cool relief. I lie back down on the floor with a smile.

“That does feel better” I sigh.

“I would think you would know that,” Cecil laughs. “With all those medical books scattered around your house.”

“Shut up. I do. I just felt like saying it anyway.”

Cecil laugh. “So?,” He asks leaning back in the chair. “What are you doing skipping class by lying on the floor of the music room screaming?”

What am I doing?

I'm skipping class. Since when do I skip class?

Oh my God! I'm skipping class! What class am I missing?

I sit back up and look around for a clock.

It’s 12:58. 6th block. English. I'm skipping English?

Oh well whatever. It's just English. And there are only 23 minutes of class left. No point in going now.

I lay back down and press the ice pack to my head.

“Nothing really. I guess I was just trying to clear my head,” I answer.

Clear my head of what?  I clearly did a good job considering I forgot what I’m doing and where I am.

Beethoven Symphony No. 9. The Kreutzer.

No! I am not thinking about that! No! No! No! Enough!

“Well you have been acting pretty strangely today,” Cecil comments. “You've been so spaced out that you didn't notice that ball coming towards ya until it slammed you right in the face.” Cecil frowns as if he's in thought before a smirk begins to slowly form on his face. “Hey! Wait. Are you...thinking of someone you like? Did Will finally get a crush on someone?”

“What?!” How is this the first thing he thought of? Why is this the first thing he thought of?

“Do you like Nico? You've been this way since the competition. Or should I say, his performance?”

Nico? As if I wo….

Beethoven Symphony No. 9. The Kreutzer. But at the same time not. Violin. Nico.

I suppose I have been thinking about him. But it's not a crush! I've been thinking of his performance not him. I don't know him at all.

“Not going to happen!” I yell.

Cecil laughs as if it's the funniest joke I've ever told him. Which would be really funny considering he’s related to multiple professional comedians.

I sigh. “Besides,” I continue softly, “Like Lou Ellen says, he likes Chelsea and that's the end of that. Nothing would come out of me liking him. There's no way he would ever like me back.” That's true. All of it. But then...why is that making me sad?

“Lou is usually wrong.”

“I'm pretty sure that she's right this time.”

He kept her gaze on her longer than the rest of us. And she was the most excited when he came up on stage. And he noticed her first when we meet up afterwards. And the look on his face when she said he was amazing. He gave her the flowers. They held hands.

They definitely like each other. Lou finally got it right.

“That doesn't matter,” Cecil says breaking the tense silence. “The emotions someone else feels towards you doesn't solely impact what you feel for them. It's pretty natural to like someone who doesn't like you back. But even if they don't like you, you like them, and they begin to sparkle in your eyes. Love never makes much sense. It's not something that you can control. But it's not good to deny it either. If you like someone, it’s best if you admit it to yourself.”

I stare at Cecil in shock. “I think...I think that's the smartest thing I've ever heard you say. Lou Ellen would be proud.”

“I'm going to take that as a compliment.”

“But still,” I say ruining the mood, “I still stand by what I said. I don't like him. And he doesn't like me.”

“Keep telling yourself that.” Cecil replies with a smirk. I groan and close my eyes.

_“If you like someone, it’s best if you admit it to yourself.”_

I don’t like him. I’ve known him for a day. I’m more confused by him if anything.

Stupid friends who care about nothing other than my love life. He’s overthinking it.

The bell rings. English class is over. I should get up. My next class in Algebra. I have a quiz today. I need to get up.

But the ground is so comfortable. And my head is such a mess that I’ll probably fail that quiz anyways. No one would care if I didn’t get up.

The door to the music room opens with a slam, and my eyes shoot open.

“Cecil!” Lou Ellen shouts, “Your stupid prank made Stacey cry!”

He pulled another  prank? That’s the third one today. What did he do this time?

Must be bad if it made someone cry.

Cecil straightens up. “Uhhh. I...I'm sorry,” Cecil stutters.

Lou Ellen walks over to him and grabs his arm “Don't apologize to me! Apologize to Stacey! Idiot.” She retorts as she drags Cecil out if the room.

“See ya Will.” She says before shutting the door.

Why Cecil? Why?

I sit up.

There's no point in staying around now. Cecil is gone, and the floor doesn’t seem comfortable anymore.

I pick up my backpack and swing it over my shoulder before walking out.

Time to fail a quiz on standard deviation and Z-scores.

 

What is wrong with me today?  I went through an entire Math class without taking any notes. I always take notes! Cecil makes fun of me for taking too many notes.

_Beethoven Symphony No. 9._

And I don’t remember a single question from the quiz. It’s like my mind was somewhere else the entire time.

_The Kreutzer._

I walk out of the school building and cross the soccer field. Boys are running around and whistles are being blown. Practise I guess.

 _Nico._ Again and again and again and again.

Why am I thinking about this? What's so special?

I’ve seen thousands of performances at competitions. I’ve seen bad ones and good ones and amazing ones. This one isn’t special.

I shake my head.

Why do I care about some person I've met once and his stupid violin? He apparently goes to the same school as me, and I never noticed him then. Why now?

Beethoven Symphony No. 9. The Kreutzer.

I keep hearing it again and again. No matter how much I want to forget it and move on.

And every time it comes to mind...It's like the pieces that my dad left behind fly away and I feel more...light.

I feel like...I want to play. I want to play the piano again.

No. That's stupid. What am I thinking?

I gave the piano up. I’m not going to be able to suddenly play it again just because of one violin performance.

But... I...I want to hear it again.

Beethoven Symphony No. 9. The Kreutzer.

I want to hear it, but I also  don't.

Nico.

I want to hear him play again, but I don't.

I want to see him again, but at the same time I really don't.

All of his stupid notes not played the way they're supposed to. Every note is supposed to be perfect. Every note is supposed to be played the way the composer intended. You can’t deviate from the sheet music.

That's how I learned. That’s what Dad always said.

I should be angry. When he stopped playing, I should have been just as angry as that judge. I should be hating him for taking a perfectly crafted song and ruining it.

But he didn't ruin it. It was more like...like...he made it better. Like every note had an emotion and was alive. Like every note has its own story to tell. And together, they were able to weave all of their stories and make them one.

I want to hear it again. I want to hear every note and know what each one is. What each one feels. What each one means. What role each one has in the story.

What's this kinda emotion called?

I stop in my tracks.

No way.

Standing there next to a pole light, there's a boy wearing a red t-shirt and black jeans with red high top converse. He has a black backpack slung over his shoulder. He must be on his way out of school too. He doesn’t notice me though. He's focused on the phone in his hand with an annoyed expression. He soon pockets the phone away and looks around.

His eyes lock on me.

His dark chocolate eyes bore on me as he gives me a confusing look.

Does he have a scar under his eye. The skin is a bit lighter there. Pale white instead of his olive skin tone. How did that happen? There’s probably a story there.

The wind blows his hair in front of it and out of view. The sunlight is shining on his dark brown hair making it look lighter. Amberish. It's like he's practically shining himself. Just like on stage.

He turns his whole body towards me with a small smile on his face.

“Sup Friend A,”  He calls with a wave.

Beethoven Symphony No. 9. The Kreutzer. Violin. Nico Di Angelo.

“You actually do go to this school?” I ask surprised.

I mean, he said it before and Lou Ellen said it before, but it's strange actually seeing him here.

Nico's smile disappears and is replaced with an  expression of shock which quickly becomes a mix or annoyance and anger.

“Seriously Solace?” He snaps. “We've been in the same English and History class all year. Not knowing my name is bad enough, but you don't recognize me either. Am I that invisible?” He scowls in my direction and clenches his fists.

I let out a nervous laugh and scratch the back of my head. I should have kept my mouth shut.

“No. It's not that,” I explain nervously. “Like I said before. I'm not very good at paying attention to the people around me.”

His anger fades and he frowns. “Yea. Whatever,” he mutters. His face becomes expressionless again.

What is he thinking? He's making the same expression as he did when I told him his performance “wasn't bad”.

“Well,” he starts a small smile coming back to his face, “I was waiting for Chelsea, but she just told me that she has to stay after to make up a test she missed.”

Chelsea? They were going to meet up?

“I guess you can go home then,” I say.

Why is he telling _me_ this?

“I could. But I don’t really want to.” He walks closer to me until he's about only an arm and a half away. “You could be her substitute.”

Heh?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you guys like this chapter!  
> As always, constructive criticism is welcome. If you see any mistake or have any suggestions, don't hesitate to tell me!  
> And shout out to AnnaOnTheRainbow !!! She left a comment last chapter that completely made my day!  
> Thanks again Anna!  
> She has some stories as well. Sadly, they're in German, so I can't read them. But if you know German and like Solangelo check them out if you're interested.  
> I hope you all have a good day wherever you are!  
> Thanks for reading!!!


	4. Accompanist

“Thank you for waiting. Here’s you order,” the waiter says as he sets down our food, a simple set of berry pancakes with whipped cream for me, and for Nico….

“Caramel waffles with apples and nuts. It's supposed to taste like apple pie!” Nico says, “I’ve always wanted to try it. This looks even better than I thought! Oh! I should take a picture.” He pulls out his phone and starts snapping pictures from all angles. 

First I was a supporting character, now I’m one of the main character’s substitute.  

Great. Just Great. 

“Alright. That’s enough pictures,” Nico announces and replacing the phone in his hand with a fork.  

‘Is baking or making sweets your hobby or something?” I ask. 

“Not really. I bake and cook sometimes, but I wouldn’t really call it a hobby.” 

So he cooks and bakes. That’s interesting. I can’t cook or bake without something burning. The only reason I’m alive is because Lou Ellen’s Mom sends food over all the time. 

“Alright!” Nico shouts.  “Let’s taste this!” He picks a piece up with a fork and stares at it for a few moments before putting it in his mouth. 

He closes his eyes and hums. “Good,” he whispers. 

I shake my head. He might be an amazing musician, but right now he’s acting like a normal kid. A normal kid with a massive sweet tooth. It’s kinda cute. 

The room is suddenly filled with the sound of piano music. I turn towards the direction it’s coming from. One girl is playing Twinkle Twinkle Little Star while another girl sits next to her and listens. 

“Huh, I thought it was there just for show, but I guess you’re allowed to play it,” Nico says swallowing his food. “She’s playing nicely. I’m sure the piano is happy it’s being used to play something nice.”

“I’m sure the piano is sad. There’s a plant on top of the it, and I’m sure the piano does not appreciate getting wet.” 

Nico stares at me in shock before he pouts and stuffs more pancake in his mouth. I chuckle at his antics and turn back towards the girls. 

“That’s really pretty Emely!” The girl not playing the piano says. 

“I learned it in piano class,” the piano girl replies. The song ends, and both of the girls smile. 

“Hey!” Nico says. 

Wait. I turn towards his seat and am met with an empty chair and a plate of half eaten pancakes. 

When did he get up? 

“That was Mozart, right?” He asks. 

The piano girl smiles, “Yea. I learned it in piano class the other day, but I’m still not very good at it.”

“I think it was great if you just learned it. It’s pretty hard to learn new songs.” 

“Do you play the piano?” 

I smile. He gets along well with kids, doesn’t he? He was playing around with kids the first time I met him too. It’s strange. It doesn’t seem like he would be the type of person who would get along with kids easily. He seems to be a bit too impatient and violent for that. But I guess you can’t guess everything about a person based on one of their qualities.

I raise my fork and take a bite of my pancakes. Nico was right. These are good. This cafe is great. 

“No I don’t,” Nico replies answering the girls question. “But that blonde guy over there is an expert at the piano. Why don’t you go ask him to help you.”

It takes me a second to notice that he’s pointing at me. Pointing at me? ME?!

I almost cough up my pancakes. 

What the heck?!

“Really?” Emely says amazed. She jumps off the seat and runs over to me with her friend following behind her. 

“Play for us,” Emely’s friend requests. 

“Teach me?” Emely asks.

Nico walks back to the table with an innocent expression  and sits down. He continues eating his waffles without looking at me. 

I take it back! I take it all back! He isn’t amazing or cute. He’s evil! Evil!

“Ummm...I don’t play the piano anymore,” I say. Nico kicks me underneath the table. I hold in a scream of pain. 

I look to him and he’s glaring. I look back at the children,  and they’re practically sparkling with happiness. 

I sigh. How can anyone say no to someone who makes that expression? 

Not to mention that Nico looks like he will kill me if I deny them. 

“I guess I can play a little,” I say as I get up. The kids beam with joy and let out a cheer. A small smile comes to my face. I can’t remember the last time someone was happy that I was going to play. 

The piano girl sits back down on the piano seat, and I stand next to her. Nico comes and stands on her other side while the other girl stands next to me on her tiptoes. 

“One, two, three,” Nico says. 

The girl and I start playing Twinkle Twinkle Little Star. This shouldn't be to bad. It's a simple song. 

Nico and the little girl start singing. 

_ “Twinkle twinkle Little star”  _

This’ll be fine. 

_ “How I wonder what you are. _

_ Up above the world so high _

_ Like a diamond in the sky.” _

Nico has a nice singing voice. Apparently his only musical talent isn’t just the violin. His voice is clear and melodic even for a children’s song like this. 

_ “Twinkle Twinkle Little Star.” _

This is actually kinda fun. 

_ “How I wonder what you are.” _

Emely stops playing, but my fingers continue to fly over the keys. Note by note stringing together. My hands flying across the keys before I even notice what I’m doing. 

“Happy piano,” Nico repeated. 

I smile. Yea. This is a pretty happy piano. It makes a happy sound. 

My fingers continue to press down on the keys without me thinking about what I’m doing. The clear sound of each note filling the small cafe. The girls are cheering. 

This isn’t bad. This isn’t bad at all. This is fun. Why did I quit? I should have ne….

_ Thump. _

What? 

_ Thump. Thump.  _

The sound. What happened to the sound? 

Not again. Not again. 

I stop playing and grab my hand. 

“Why’d you stop playing?” Emely asks.

I can’t play anymore. 

“Don't stop,” the other girl says. 

I don’t want to, but what else am I supposed to do? 

“I can't play anymore,” I whisper. 

The girls look at me confused. I look towards Nico whose expression is filled with worry. 

Great. Just Great. 

“I'm sorry,” I whisper. “I'm sorry.”

I leave the piano and grab my backpack  before I run out the door. I stop in front of the cafe and take a deep breath. 

Why? Why does that always have to happen? Why? 

I look around.There’s no one else outside. Quiet. Just me. 

My eyes land on a little black pile. The pile shifts and a pair of ears become more visible. 

A cat? 

I walk over to it and lean down. It a small black cat with pointy ears and sky blue eyes. 

“Will?” I hear Nico shout. I look towards him. He meets my eye and runs towards me. 

“Are you okay? I'm sorry. I shouldn't…” his eyes land on the cat. “Hey! That's the cat.” 

I look down at the black cat and then back at Nico who is now glaring at said cat. “You know this cat?” 

He nods his head. “I saw this cat once before. I gave him some food and then he just ran off. I didn't get to pet him. But not today! I'm going to feel your soft fur today kitty.” 

What is wrong with him?

He crouches down next to me and slowly reaches for the cat. Before he's able to touch the cat,  the cat springs up and runs away. 

“No!” Nico cries. 

“Maybe next time,” I laugh out.  

“Stupid cat.” He sighs. “Animals always run away when I get near them. I think I'm cursed.” 

“Maybe.” 

Maybe? Yeah that’s definitely the best thing to say Will. Good job. 

But Nico doesn’t say anything. Instead, we fall into silence. 

“So you're...you're never going to play the piano again?” Nico asks slowly. 

“You knew.”

Nico nods his head. “I don't think there's a musician in our generation who hasn't heard of you. The great prodigy Will Solace. Took the musical world by storm when he won a series of competitions at the age of 11. Performed with an orchestra at the age of eight. Always sticks to the  piece. Nicknamed: the human metronome.” 

“You've done your homework.”

“It's common knowledge.”

“Is it?”

“You've inspired a lot of musicians.” 

Inspired? I don’t feel like very inspirational. 

I can’t really think of anything about me that would be inspirational either. 

Nico turns towards me. “What made you stop playing?” Nico asks breaking the silence. 

I guess I should have been prepared to answer that. That’s always the next question. 

“I can't hear it. I can't hear the piano anymore.” 

“What?!” He stands up. “But you were playing in the cafe? What do you mean you can't hear it?” Nico looks at me his eyes brimming with confusion. 

I look down towards the ground. “I...When I first begin playing I can hear it, but...somewhere along the way...the more I get into the song...the performance...the notes begin to disappear. I can hear the keys being pushed down, but I can't hear the note it's supposed to make. It's like...its like I'm underwater.” 

“Is that what happened in the cafe?” His facial loosen and his expression morphs into concern. 

I nod my head. “It doesn't affect my daily life. I can hear everyone else's music perfectly fine. It only happens when I play. I think...I think that's my curse. Or maybe it's a punishment.” 

“Punishment?” 

“Sounds like it. Take the thing I'm good at and make it impossible.” 

I walk over and lean against the tree in front of us. 

Maybe it's for the best if I can’t play the piano. Maybe it's really a blessing in disguise. It’s not like I ever really liked playing. 

Nico walks over to me. 

“Idiot!” He shouts as he thumps me on the head. “If something is holding you back then find a way to get past it! Like playing with a stick between your teeth like Beethoven.” He flicks me on the forehead and huffs. 

That one hurt. 

“If you lose your finger then start playing with your toes.”

“That's crazy!” And sounds impossible. 

“If you're missing a finger use your nose!” 

“Like Mozart?” He crosses his arms and nods his head. 

“I'm not Mozart. Or Beethoven. I can't do crazy things like they did just to play the piano.”  

Nico sombers out. 

“Whether you're sad, or a complete mess, or you've hit rock bottom, you have to keep playing.” He says quietly. I look at him. His eyes seem darker. Like they’ve...like they’ve lost their sparkle. That’s not right. 

“Yea,” I say. I move away from the tree. “That...that may be true to you, but I'm not the same way. I don’t...I don’t really want to play.” 

His eyes still look dark. 

_ “The world is more colorful when you’re in love. You have a sparkle in your eyes.” _

His eyes should be sparkling. He has things that he loves. 

He loves sweets. 

He loves his violin. 

He loves music. 

Nico turns away and begins pacing in front of me with his eyes furrowed. I follow him with my eyes. He groans and begin pacing faster.

What is he thinking? 

Soon he stops and turns towards me with a his lips curved upwards in a small smile. “I've made up my mind,” he says. He looks at me some of the sparkle now back in his eyes.  

Looks like what he's decided has made him happy. That's good. He looks better when he smiles. He shouldn’t be worrying about my problems. 

“I've decided that you're going to be my accompanist,” he finishes.  

Did he just say 'you’? As in me? As in Will Solace? 

“What?!” I shout. 

“I won the audience vote during the prelims, so I move on to the second round. My…” he nervously laughs, “Well, my other accompanist got tired of me and left, so I need a new one. I've decided that it will be you.” 

What? I...you...what? 

“Were you listening to a thing I said? I can't play! I can't hear the notes!” 

How in the world is that the thing he decided from all this?! I just told him why people shouldn’t trust me with playing the piano. I can’t hear the notes. 

“I don't care,” he counters.  “I've made up my mind. Just give into fate Solace.” 

A soft breeze blows. Nico turns towards me. 

“I appoint Friend A as my accompianist.” He says with a smile. I stare at him. 

Did he just...make a pun? 

“Don't stare at me like that. It wasn't that bad of a pun,” he pouts.

He did just make a pun. We’re having a serious moment and he makes a pun. That is unexpected. Very unexpected. 

Laughter escapes my lips. How can a stupid pun like that cheer me up? It wasn’t a good pun. 

Nico frowns at me. 

“It kinda was,” I laugh out. “A really bad pun.” 

I smile at him, and he smiles back. My eyes lock onto his. They’re shining again. The light back in them. 

This isn’t bad. This isn’t bad at all. 

I don’t think I really mind being Friend A

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading! I hope you people enjoyed this chapter!   
> I appreciate constructive criticism!   
> Like a lot...  
> I'm not too confident with this chapter, but I wasn't sure what else I could do.   
> If you have any suggestion please tell!   
> Please comment and/or kudos if you want more!   
> I hope you all have a great day wherever you live!


	5. Seeing the World in Color

“Come back here!” 

I didn’t sign up for this when I said I was happy being Friend A. I take it back. I take it all back.  

“I already told you! I can't do it! Leave me alone!” I shout as I weave through the other students trying to get to school. 

“Just shut up and be my accompanist!” I feel something hit my head.  I turn around and see a book lying on the ground. Did he just throw a book at me?!

Why is he attacking me so early in the morning? 

_ For our set piece I decided on Saint-Saens Introduction and Rondo Capriccioso. I'll bring you the sheet music for it tomorrow morning.  _

I already told you my whole sob story. Stop making me do things I don’t want to do. 

I take a turn and hide in a small part of the entryway blocked off from view. 

“Solace?!” I hear Nico run off in the other direction, and I let out a sigh of relief. 

Today’s going to be a long day. 

*******

“You want Will to be your accompanist?” 

“Yea...well I thought it was a good idea at the time.” 

“It's still a good idea.”

“Maybe...but I don't think he'll do it. And I don’t want to force him.”

“I'll help.”

“What?” 

“Don't worry. We’ll convince him. I'm his best friend. He can't deny me forever.” 

“Well…”

“I'm so excited.”

*******

Shiver. Why does it feel like someone is developing an evil plan with me at the center. What is Lou Ellen up to this time? 

The bell rings and everyone files out of class. Music starts to play on the speaker like it always does before lunch. Why? I don’t know. It’s just something that this school does. . 

“Huh? Classical music? That's strange.” one students walking by says. 

That is strange. Normally, they play whatever the big pop songs are for the week or something. 

And this piece sounds familiar...

_ Saint-Saens Introduction and Rondo Capriccioso? _

Not only that but it's on repeat. 

That’s odd. 

I open the door to the music room to grab my history notebook. I forgot it in here yesterday.  

The only thing out of place in the music room isn’t my notebook though. 

“Huh?!” The entire room is covered with sheet music. The walls have paper taped to them. The back of the piano has sheets taped to it. The floor has sheets  scattered around in random spots. 

_ Saint-Saens Introduction and Rondo Capriccioso.  _

What the hell is this?

 

“Alright class open to page 153.” I open up my book. 

“Huh?” Instead of being greeted with a page filled with twenty problems about Chemical Reactions, I see tiny sheets of paper taped to said page covering the problems.  Pieces of sheet music are taped all over page 153. 

_ Saint-Saens Introduction and Rondo Capriccioso.  _

How? We share textbooks in this class. How did Lou Ellen know I would get this one? Witchcraft! 

 

Stupid Cecil. Why did he aim the water fountain at me? What did I do to him? I thought we were friends and I was exempt from his pranking sprees. Apparently not. 

At least I brought an extra shirt today for PE this morning. Hopefully it doesn’t smell too bad. 

I open up my locker. 

“Huh? The entire locker is taped up and filled with sheet music. 

_ Saint-Saens Introduction and Rondo Capriccioso.  _

This is just insane. Insane!

 

History. 

There’s a test today. After this test, there’s only one more unit before it’s over. Then there will be final tests and projects and the school year is over. And then...summer! Only two more months. 

And then I’ll in be in high school. 

I look around the classroom and this time my eyes land on Nico who I actually notice this time. He’s leaning his head on his left arm and  looking down at his desk with a bored expression on his face while his spins a pencil with his right hand. 

Where am I going to find sheet music in this class? Will it be stapled to my test? Will one of the question ask about it? With he just come over and hand me a stack of sheet music? He is going to walk past me humming it?

Weirdly, that’s the only time today where I wasn’t buried with sheet music. Nico barely even spared me a glance. 

When class ends, Nico immediately grabs his stuff and runs out of the room. 

 

Apparently, the plan consisted of burying me with sheet music everywhere and not just school. 

“How?” I shout with my hand still on the doorknob. 

My entire room is covered with sheet music just like the music room. Paper taped to the walls. Paper scattered on the ground. Paper piled on my bed and desk. 

_ Saint-Saens Introduction and Rondo Capriccioso.  _

How did they even print this much sheet music? 

I open the window that faces Lou Ellen’s house and her room. “I know that you're the one doing this Lou!” I yell. 

Apparently, nowhere is safe. Even her  window is covered with sheet music. 

_ Saint-Saens Introduction and Rondo Capriccioso. _

I'll just call her then. There’s no way she got to my phone. I’ve had it on me all day. 

Never underestimate Lou Ellen. 

“How is this even possible?” My phone's wallpaper is sheet music too. 

_ Saint-Saens Introduction and Rondo Capriccioso.  _

I collapse on my bed. This is too much. Too much. 

Why does my best friend have to be a witch? You can’t beat her.

 

The music room with the piano is still covered with sheet music. No one comes in here except me and the janitor and the janitor probably decided to ignore it. 

_ Saint-Saens Introduction and Rondo Capriccioso.  _

Well, now I’m lying on the floor and the paper is not very comfortable. It feels weird. 

_ Saint-Saens Introduction and Rondo Capriccioso.  _

The same classical song has been playing from the school speaker system for the past week. The other students are starting to get annoyed too. 

_ Saint-Saens Introduction and Rondo Capriccioso.  _

And Nico hasn’t even looked at me once this whole week. And all Lou Ellen talks about is that stupid piece. 

Why do they want me to play so bad? 

_ Saint-Saens Introduction and Rondo Capriccioso.  _

I can't. 

I can't. 

I can't. 

I can't play. 

Just leave me alone. 

I  can’t. I just can’t. 

*******

“It’s raining. I hope it’ll be alright for your competition tomorrow.” 

“That’s what the weather people say.” 

“Stupid Will. The way he’s acting, I’m sure he’ll try to bail. But don’t worry. I’ll drag his there if I have to.” 

“I don’t know. You sure this is a good idea. I don’t...” 

“Of course I am! Will just...he’s just the type that you have be pushy towards to get him to do something. It’s a good idea. And I’ll get Cecil to help out too. And Chelsea.” 

_ Flip. Patter. Patter. Drip. Drip.  _

“I’ll get you to play piano again Will. Or my name isn’t Lou Ellen Blackstone!” 

“You really care about him don’t you.” 

“Yea. He’s not just a childhood friend or even my best friend. He’s...he’s more like a hopeless sibling.” 

_ Drip. Drop. Patter. Patter.  _

“To be honest, I don’t really care if Will decides to play the piano again.” 

“Huh?”

“I just… i just don’t want him to stop playing unless he really wants to. And I...I can tell that he still wants to play...but he just...can’t bring himself to and I hate seeing him like that. Ever since….ever since that day. Ever since then...Will...he’s been trapped with nowhere to go. He’s only living life halfway. That’s why I want him to play the piano again. Even if he quits. Because I’m sure that once he’s able to, he’ll be able to live life the way he wants to again.”

“You’re a good friend Lou Ellen.” 

“Wolfem Street. This stop is Wolfem Street.” 

“I guess that’s my stop. I’ll see you tomorrow Nico!” 

“See ya.” 

_ Creak. Sigh.  _

“And we’re now left with just me and Mr. Bus Driver. Empty bus for 4:00.” 

_ Patter. Patter. Drip. Drip.  _

“The next stop will be the University Hospital Entrance. Push the button if this is your stop.” 

_ Beep.  _

*******

“Oh God. That...that was a lot of running. Stupid...stupid stairs.” 

I look towards the voice.  “Nico? Why are you here? You should be at the competition?” I yell towards him. 

He looks at me in surprise that quickly shifts into anger.  He puts down his violin, and stomps towards me. 

“You! Why are you hiding on the school roof? I’ve been looking for you everywhere. Chelsea, Lou Ellen, and Cecil have been looking for you everywhere.” 

“What?” Why would they be looking for me?

“Now get up! We have to go!” Oh. That’s why. 

“I already told you! I’m not going to do it! I can’t play the piano anymore!” 

Why are my friends  so stubborn? Why can’t they just let me be? I don’t want to play the piano anymore. 

“Why? Why can’t you play?” Nico asks. 

“What do you mean why? I already told you! I can’t hear the piano anymore!” 

“Why”

“What?”

“Why can’t you hear it anymore? And why is it stopping you? If you want to play the piano, you play the piano and that’s it.” 

Why? Why can’t I hear it? 

“It doesn’t matter why? Even if I did come with you now...I wouldn’t be able to give a performance that I’d be happy with. I can’t play the piano.” 

“It’s not that you can’t play. It’s that you won’t. If you wanted to play, you would, and you wouldn’t be giving  excuses not to.” 

“What do you know?” I can’t control my anger anymore.  “You’ve probably had a happy life and have played that violin of yours without any trouble at all.” I stand up. This is just getting annoying. Why can’t the whole world just forget that I ever played the piano and just leave me alone?!

“I asked my parents for a violin when I was eight. My dad thought that learning to play the violin would be useless, but my mom thought otherwise, and bought me one for my birthday and enrolled me for lessons,” Nico says somberly as he sits down with me.  

What? 

“I was apparently a fast learner, and my teachers were impressed. I played a solo during a small music concert my teacher was hosting when I was nine. My mom somehow got my dad to come. My mom and sister loved my performance, but my dad….he still hated it. He hated my violin...or maybe he just hated me. I don’t know. When I was at school the next day my dad broke it.

“I was upset,obviously,  but that just fueled me more. My mom, my sister, and my teacher, and so many other people loved me playing, so I thought that if I played well enough, maybe  someday my dad wouldn’t hate me playing it anymore. I asked my teacher if she had any violins I could borrow during class, and she let me borrow one. My aunt bought me a new one for Christmas without telling my dad.” 

He shifts where he’s sitting into a more comfortable position. I set my sandwich down back in its box. 

“I practised as much as I could. I wanted to make my family proud of me for something. That winter my mom and sister died in an accident. My dad found my violin too. He was angry, so instead of just breaking it this time he hit me with t until it broke. I was too upset to really care.”

“Nico…” 

“My dad started hitting me more after that. I was his failure child who decided that playing some stringed musical instrument was something cool. I was a failure in his eyes who should have been the one to die instead of my mom and sister.” 

“Nico stop.” 

“I believed him. I stopped playing the violin. It was a stupid hobby after all. I wouldn’t get anything out of it. It was that stupid violin’s fault that my family was dead. I should have been the one to die. They were taking me to another one of my performances that day. They wouldn’t have died if I didn’t play the violin.” 

“Nico! Stop!” 

“My dad decided to kill himself when I was twelve. He wanted to take me with him, so he set the house on fire when I was asleep. The firemen were able to save me though, clearly, I’m still here. They sent me off to live with my aunt Hestia after that.”

“NICO!” 

Stop. I’m sorry. 

“She bought me a new violin. I didn’t want it. I told her that I never wanted to play the violin again. That it was the violin’s fault that my entire family was now dead. She told me that I was wrong. That my mom and sister would be upset if they found out that I stopped playing. She told me to play for them.” 

A small sad smile comes to Nico’s face and my chest tightens. This is wrong. 

“She showed me a video of my favorite musician playing. She asked me why he was my favorite and I told her it was because he had so much emotion while he was playing. That’s why I wanted to play in the first place. I thought that if I started to play the violin then I might be able to someday play on the same stage as him. But that wasn’t what was important anymore.” 

Nico turns towards. I look away. 

“For me...music is something I love. Not just because of how it sounds or how I have fun playing it, but because it has the power to inspire someone else. That’s what I want to do. I don’t want to be the best or win any competitions. I want...I want someone in the audience to hear it. I want my music to reach people. I want...I want someone to feel the same way I did when I went to my first concert and decided I wanted to play an instrument.”  

“Nico….” He stands back up and faces away. I look down to my lap. 

He can’t just spring that much on me at once. 

“How about you Will?” He asks still facing away.  “Why did you play? And why did you stop?” 

Why did I play? Because I was forced to. Dad wanted me to play. He wanted me to be the best. He wanted me to win competitions and be the best. He wanted the piano to be the center of my world. 

I’m the exact opposite to Nico. His dad told him to stop, but mine told me to never stop. Nico was struggling to keep playing, while I...I didn’t want to play anymore. 

No. That’s not right. When I started playing, I loved it. I loved having my fingers fly across the keys and create something. I loved seeing the look on Dad’s face when I learned a new song. I loved making him happy. 

But then...everything just got more intense. It became too much. The piano became too much. Dad became too much. 

I wanted it to stop. I hated it. I hated how I felt. 

And then Dad dies and all I was left with was a stupid piano. I didn’t want to stop, but...but...then I couldn’t hear the notes, and I gave up. There was nothing tying me to the thing anymore. I finally found an excuse to not play anymore. I could finally move on and never have to play that stupid instrument ever again. 

The excuse I needed. An excuse to never play again. 

But, at the same time. I can’t get away from it. 

When I played with Emely at the cafe, it was fun. I could barely understand why I stopped playing. 

It was fun again. There were people there who wanted to hear me play. 

But then I couldn’t hear again and...and what? 

“Whenever I play, it’s like I’m alone at the bottom of the sea, and I can’t breathe anymore.” 

I….I’m scared. I’m scared that everything will go back to the way it was when Dad taught me. It’ll just be me. The piano and me, The Human Metronome. 

Alone at the the bottom of a dark sea. 

Nico crouches down next to me. “You’re not alone. You have me.” 

I look up at him. He’s blurry. Oh no. My eyes are getting wet. Don’t cry. Don’t cry. 

“And not just me Will. You have Lou Ellen and Cecil too. They’re your best friends. No matter what happens to you, I’m sure they’ll be there by your side for as long as they can. They’ll fight to be there.”

Will they? They’ve always stuck around haven’t they? I’ve known Lou Ellen since forever, and she’s still here. 

She yells at me when I say otherwise. 

She wouldn’t let me replace her with a piano. She would make sure that she’s still in her life. 

“I know you can’t hear the notes,” Nico continues. “I know you haven’t properly played in a while, but I still want you.” 

“Why?” 

“Because I was in the same place you are. I was scared. I thought that someone else would die if I kept playing. I didn’t want to be alone.” Nico pauses. “But that’s a terrible reason to stop. If you’re going to stop, stop because you hate music. Stop because you found something better. Stop because you want to.  Don’t make fear stop you from doing something that you love. 

“I…” 

“And no matter how much you try to tell everyone you hate the piano, I know you don’t. I saw your face when you were playing at the cafe. You were smiling. You wouldn’t be smiling if you hated the piano.” 

I wouldn’t be. It’s not the piano I hate. It’s...it’s...what is it? 

I stare at him as he stands back up. 

“We might not be able to give a great performance today, but as long as we give one we just gave everyone and everything that told us otherwise a big punch in the face. Because even though something was holding us back, we tried our hardest anyway.” He punches his fist in the air and smiles slightly.  “Today will be your first performance in a while and if you decide to do it again...you’ll be much better next time because the first step is always the hardest.” 

“Yeah…” I choke back a sob. 

“And I’ll be there with you. You won’t be alone. And if you ever feel that way, just look at me, and you’ll know you aren’t.” 

Not alone. Because not everyone in that theater is there to see the Human Metronome. 

But there’s something else. Something else. Something else. 

“So I’ll ask again. Will you please be my accompanist today. Will you take your first step today?”

I wipe my eyes and stand up. I look at him. He’s rubbing his eyes. Wait...is he crying? 

Well, he did just tell you his entire life story, Will. What do you expect? 

“Please don’t tell me that I’m trying for nothing,” he whispers. 

If he can keep going after all that, then the least I can do is try. 

The first step is always the hardest. 

I walk closer to him. 

“I won’t. I...I’ll be your accompanist.” 

He looks at me. His eyes are still watering, but he gives me a small smile. “Thank you.” 

“I’m not making any guarantees, but I promise you….I’ll try my best.” His smile becomes wider, and he nods. 

If someone like him is trying so hard to help me move on, then I have to try. 

“AAAARGH!” Nico and I both jump at the sudden loud sound. Nico’s panicked eyes look around. 

The door to the roof opens and Lou Ellen, Cecil, and Chelsea stumble out. We both focus in on them and sigh in relief. 

“There you are!” Cecil and Lou Ellen shout pointing at me. They run towards me and attack. 

“What have you been doing? We’ve been looking everywhere for you!” Lou Ellen shouts. 

I laugh nervously. 

Chelsea walks over to Nico in a much more humane manner. 

“Why the hell were you hiding? You coward!” Lou Ellen continues. 

I decide not to say anything. That would probably just make her more mad. 

“You were crying, are you okay?” I hear Chelsea ask Nico softly. I see him nod his head. He wipes his tears away and smiles. 

“Errrr…..we need to get there in 30 minutes!” Cecil cuts in. 

“30? How are we supposed to get there in 30?” I shout. I just promised Nico I’d try my best. I can’t do that if I’m not there. The concert hall is at least forty five minutes if you walk, and buses come every half an hour.

Cecil gives a mischievous smile, “Don’t worry I have an idea.” 

 

That idea apparently involved Cecil stealing...I mean borrowing... three bikes. 

Cecil points towards the back of the bike. “Sit,” he says to me. 

“That’s dangerous,” I argue. 

“Don’t worry. I’ll get you there safely. You don’t need to worry about anything other than reading that sheet music.” 

_ Saint-Saens Introduction and Rondo Capriccioso.  _

I see Nico getting on the back of Chelsea’s bike. 

“Don’t underestimate us athletic people,” she says to me. 

Chelsea’s an athlete too? What does she play? 

I look back to Cecil. He’s smiling and pointing at the bike. I groan and sit down behind him. 

Lou Ellen gets on her own bike. “Alright! Let’s go!” 

Cecil begins pedaling as fast as he can with Chelsea and Lou Ellen following close behind. 

“Did you guys practise together even once?” Chelsea asks. 

“It’ll be fine!” Nico says, “Cause we rule.” 

“Don’t worry,” Cecil shouts. “If we go fast enough we’ll be able to get you there with some time to rehearse. Faster people. Faster!” 

“This isn’t safe at all!” I yell.  “And shouldn’t you guys be in school! It’s 1:00 on a Tuesday!” 

“It’ll be fine. So we ditched half the day. Whatever!” Lou Ellen replies. 

I groan. 

Nico laughs at what she says. I turn towards him. His smile is so wide, you wouldn’t be able to tell that he was crying just a few minutes ago. 

That’s good. He should be smiling. After everything that happened, he deserves to be happy. 

I look away and at at the trees and buildings flying past us. 

It was strange but….

Everything seemed to be just a little bit brighter. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> That makes five chapters! Woohoo!   
> Hope you all liked this chapter too!   
> If you liked this chapter please comment and/or kudos!   
> They are greatly appreciated! Seeing a comment makes my day.   
> If you have any constructive criticism or suggestions, those are welcome and appreciated!   
> Thank you for reading!   
> I hope you all have a great day/night wherever you are!


	6. Everything is(n’t) in the Sheet Music

_Remember Will. You always have to play everything the way the composer wrote it. No adding. No changing, No taking anything out. You have to do exactly as the composer intends. Everything is in the sheet music._

 

_“Look it’s Will Solace.”_

_“He’s number one again isn’t he.”_

_“I hear he practises eight hours a day.”_

_“No one else could survive that.”_

_“When does he get free time.”_

_“He’s like a machine.”_

_“Well, that’s what you'd expect considering who his dad is.”_

_“Poor kid.”_

_It looks like...I’m the only one on Dad’s side._

*******

This isn’t good. I shouldn’t have said yes.  I don’t have it committed to memory. You should never go on stage unless you have the piece committed to memory.  But now I’ll have to actually look at the sheet music to be able to play it.

And if that’s not enough….if Nico plays like he did last time….I’M SCREWED!

This is bad. This is bad. This is bad!

I going to mess up. I'm definitely going to mess up.

“All set! We’re number fourteen, close to the end,  so we have a little time left.” I hear Nico’s voice say.

I don’t look up. I need to memorize this as much as possible. Keep your eyes on the music Will. Read. Read. Read.

“We got lucky. If we had arrived a few minutes later we wouldn’t have been able to perform.”

Maybe Nico will actually follow the sheet music today to spare me. This was his idea. He has to go easy on me today, right?

“What tempo should we play at?” He asks.

Nevermind. I should have expected that. Focus on the sheet music Will.

Focus. Focus. Focus.

This is too much! There’s no way I can memorize the whole thing in the next few minutes.

This is all crazy. Why did I agree to this? It was a terrible idea.

There’s no way I can give a decent performance today. It’s impossible.

Maybe if I back out now….but I...I can’t. I  promised him.

But we’re only going to be humiliating ourselves if we go out.

I’m going to ruin all the popularity he got.

He’s going to hate me!

I feel someone grab my face and move it up. Then I feel someone punch me at the top of the head. I fall over and out of my seat and onto the ground with a loud BOOM!

I hear people rush over to where I am and gasp and my pitiful state. Damn it Nico.

“There,” he announces., “Did that calm you down?”

I sit up and glare at him. “Yes, but did you have to hit me?”

“Pain is fast and effective,” he mumbles.  His expression morphs into frown for a few seconds before going back to his initial expression, the weird mix between frustration and worry.

I frown at the statement but decide to move on. His method was effective and no longer hurts, so I can’t really complan.

I gather all the sheet music from the ground and immediately begin reading it again. Nico pulls away the sheets from my hand and throws them onto the chair I was previously sitting on before crouching down next to me..

“You’re focusing too much on the sheet music. That’s why they trap you. The music sheets aren’t the answer to everything.”

My eyes widen. “ _Everything is in the sheet music.”_

You can’t play a piece unless you follow the sheet music. Everything has to be perfect. That’s how you win. That’s how you become a good musician.

You can’t play unless you follow the piece to the dot.  

But Nico didn’t do that did he? When he played, it was all over the place, but still, somehow, good.

But I can’t do that. I can’t even play the piece properly. How am I supposed to keep up with his random improv?

I’m just going to mess everything up.

“You’ve been surrounded by this piece for the past week,” Nico continues. It’s like he read my mind. “I know you can do it. I know we can do it.” He stands back up. “We’re going to go out there are perform. And if we embarrass ourselves in the process it’s okay because next time we’ll be better. And the next time better than that. We’re allowed to mess up. So let’s go out their and embarrass ourselves together.”

Mess up? I’m allowed to mess up. No one’s going to be mad if I mess up?

“Contestant Number 14, you’re up.” the man in the front says.

Nico grabs my hand and pulls me up.

“Come on. Let’s go take your first step.”

He pulls me to the doors leading to the stage.

Well, there's no going back now.

_Remember Will. Always follow the sheet music._

_“We’re allowed to mess up.”_

Nico turns back towards me with a small smile and tightens his grip on my hand before turning back.

Maybe...maybe not always. Maybe, sometimes, it’s better if you don’t.

 

“Alright,” Nico decides.

“Ummm…” I whimper out.

Come on. Do as I want.

“What are you doing?” He hisses.

“I'm trying to adjust the chair but it's not working.”

“Well, then do it faster.”

He’s getting annoyed. Calm down Solace. Calm down. No need to be all panicked. This performance doesn’t matter. In all honesty, it’s most likely that no one recognizes me. I mean, it’s been a couple years and I’m so far away, and the lighting...

“Wait a minute...is that Will Solace?” I hear one of the judges whisper.

No! How? Why?

“Wait...seriously?”

“He's older but it's definitely him.”

“Why is he here? And why is he playing accompanist?”

Nevermind. It’s over. If I screw up now, everyone will hate me and say that I’m a terrible musician. There’s no turning back after this. It’s over.

‘Will,” Nico whisper. I turn towards him. “Calm.”

Calm. Deep breath.

One mess up won’t matter if I blast them all away in the end. First step. I’m allowed to mess up. Nico won’t hate me. Lou Ellen won’t hate me. Cecil won’t hate me. And that’s all that matters.

The seat moves. Finally. I sit down and look at Nico. “I did it.”

Nico nods before looking at the audience. He takes in a deep breath and looks back at me.

I nod my head.

“Tutto andrà bene,” he mumbles.

Or maybe something else since that makes no sense to me.

I take a deep breath. Calm. Don’t freak out so much that you can’t even hear right.

Nico sets his violin underneath his chin and lifts his bow up to start.

I set my fingers on the keys. They’re smooth like they always are. And they aren’t cold like the one in the music room. Just like it used to be. If someone told me this was the same piano as the last one I played, I would believe them. It looks exactly the same. It’s still a black Steinway Piano.

“Psst,” Nico hisses towards me.

I quickly look up at the sheet music in front of me. I need to play.

_Saint-Saens Introduction and Rondo Capriccioso._

I take a deep breath. I tap my fingers on the keys and focus on the beginning of the piece.

There's no backing out now.

I put my finger down and hit the first key with the rest of my fingers following it. Nico sighs quietly before starting.

This isn't bad. This is good. Everything's going well. Nico was right. I do know this song. I was worrying  over nothing. My fingers are practically playing without me thinking. This...this might actually work.

If I listen to the violin and stay focused on the sheet music, it'll work. This isn't a very difficult piece. I learned how to play this piece already years ago. It'll work. And I’ve been exposed to it nonstop for the past week. It’ll work.

And then Nico increases his tempo.

Damn it. I should have expected it sooner or later. It’s just like last time. He starts out playing perfectly and then boom!

I speed up flying through the notes to match his. His tempo goes everywhere. It’s impossible to know what he’s going to do next.

Just listen to Nico. It's going fine. Just focus on him. Focus on what he’s doing. You used to be one of the best young pianists to walk on this stage. You can play along to someone on the violin.

Not too bad. Not too bad. Missed a note here or there, but who noticed? Everyone is focusing on Nico not me. No one will notice one or two missing notes.

It'll be fine. It'll be fine.

I look away from the sheet music for a bit and towards the audience. They all seem entrapped by Nico just like they were before. No one is staring at me, so that means I’m not a trainwreck. Good.

That's...wait...who's that? They...no. No. No. That's impossible. Dad?

I blink and he's gone. What?

A loud note fills the room and Nico send a quick glare my way.

Oh shoot. I’m slowing down.

I look back to the sheet music. Calm down Will. You're hallucinating. He's not here. Calm down. Focus on the sheet music and Nico. Calm down.

I focus on the sheet music. Or try to. It looks like the notes are flying away. No. I can't play without the notes. What do I do?

_“You've been surrounded by this piece for the past week.”_

Right. Memory. Listen to Nico and play by memory. I’ve learned this song before. It'll be good enough. Focus on Nico and what you're playing. Focus.

Wait...the notes. I can't hear them. I can't hear the piano.

No. No. Play more. Play the notes. It'll work. Just play the notes. You'll hear them. Play the notes. Play. Play. Play.

Hit the keys harder. Harder.

I can still hear Nico. It's fine. It's fine. Hit harder. Harder.

Why? Why can't I hear them? Why? Why can't I hear my own playing? Why? Why? Why?

Why can’t I hear?

I’m messing up. I’m definitely messing up. I’m ruining everything.

I stop.

I can't. I can't. I'm sorry Nico. I can't.

If I keep playing...I'll only be making it worse for you.

Silence. Wait. Silence. I turn towards Nico. He's stopped. Why did he stop?

He turns towards me. He's mad. He’s definitely mad. I promised him I would try, and I gave up.

He smiles at me. Wait what?

“Again.” He says.

“What?”

He takes a deep breath.

“Again.” He repeats.

He turns back to the audience and slides his bow across the strings.

What is he doing? He stopped. He’s already lost. Disqualified. There’s no point in playing again.

_“I appoint Friend A as my new accompianist.”_

Why did he even pick me? I can't play. I'm a failure. What did he ever see in me? Maybe I was once a great musician, but now...now I can’t play anything. He should see that by now.

_“You won’t be alone. And if you ever feel that way, just look at me, and you’ll know you aren’t.”_

I look back at him. He’s still playing in that crazy reckless way he did before. Each note with a different meaning. Nothing like the sheet music.

“ _The first step is always the hardest.”_

_“Will you take your first step today?”_

Yeah. I did. And you can see how that turned out. I ruined everything. I can’t play. Everyone in the audience is much happier now that I’m not messing up your performance.

_“Let's go out there and embarrass ourselves together.”_

_“Look at me.”_

I definitely embarrassed myself and you. You’re definitely doing better now. Maybe it is better if I don’t play.

_“I know you can do this.”_

_“We can do this.”_

I can’t do this. I can’t. I messed up. I completely messed up. Everyone here knows I messed up.

_“And if we embarrass ourselves in the process it’s okay because next time we’ll be better.”_

_“Look at me.”_

It’s okay? It’s okay if I messed up?

That’s not how this is supposed to work. If you mess up on stage even once, it’s over. There won’t be a next time. Everyone in that audience already hates me. They’ll never give me another chance.

_“You have Lou Ellen and Cecil too. They’re your best friends. No matter what happens to you, I’m sure they’ll be there by your side for as long as they can. They’ll fight to be there.”_

I look out towards the audience. The two of them are out there somewhere too aren’t they. Lou Ellen will probably be mad at me for stopping. She won’t care that I messed up. She’ll be happy that after so long of her pestering me, she was finally able to get me back on stage.

_“Look at me.”_

Cecil will be happy too. He’ll be happy I tried. He’ll tell me I did amazing even if I give the worst performance of my life. He’ll crack a joke or pull a prank or do something stupid just to cheer me up.

_“Look at me.”_

And Nico. He’ll probably hit me for giving up. Not because he’s mad or disappointed, but because he thinks I’m an idiot. Because I gave up to soon. Because I gave up after only messing up once.

_“Look at me.”_

I turn back towards him. He’s still playing. Each note with its own separate meaning. Each one combining together to create one huge story. And this time...this time it sound hopeful with a mix of sadness.

I look back at the piano and  take a deep breath.

_“The music sheets aren’t the answer to everything.”_

Maybe...maybe it’s not. Maybe I don’t have to be perfect. Maybe, sometimes, just trying is enough.

Because even if I do screw up, I still have people who’ll support me. And I’ll have people who tell me I’m being stupid or try to cheer me up. I’ll have people to turn to with my problems or have fun with. I won’t be left alone and no one’s going to hurt me just because I messed up on stage.

And the people who do get mad, those people won’t matter when I play so well that everyone else gives me a standing ovation. Until then, it’s okay if I mess up.

_“We might not be able to give a great performance today, but as long as we give one we just gave everyone and everything that told us otherwise a big punch in the face. Because even though something was holding us back, we tried our hardest anyway.”_

I press the first note. Again.

Listen to Nico. Use your memory and figure out what's right. Play. Play.

It doesn’t matter if you mess up because you’re still playing. You’re still fighting. And each key I press is one step closer to being able to play again.

I'm still off, but...I'll fix it.

Focus. Focus. Focus.

The sheet music and the sound is both gone, but my memory isn't. I know this song. I know what keys to press and how to press them. I just need to focus.

Focus.

_“Listen, Will. Don't play the piano too harshly. If you press gently on the keys, you'll make it happy. If you hit the piano with force, the piano will be angry. Be gentle with the piano, and it'll play like you want._

Take everything I've learned and use it. Draw out what dad left! Use all those skills that you spent hours perfecting.

_“Again.”_

If I can't hear the notes, then I can imagine them.

Focus.

Gentle.

One key at a time.

I look towards Nico.

I can hear your sound. You're here. And that's enough.

The song doesn’t sound sad anymore. It’s more happy now. Happy and hopeful.

The last note rings throughout the hall. It’s over.

The audience erupts into cheers.

“Encore.”

“That was amazing!”

“Those kids rule!”

“Again!”

We did it. I...I did it. Even though I couldn’t hear, I still played.

I.. that…wow.

I finally did it. I played the piano again. I played on a stage again.

A small smile comes to my face.

The smell of dust.

The cool air coming from the air conditioning set a little too high.

The lights shining down on the stage.

The feeling of being on a stage.

It's…

BOOM!

I look up. What was that sound? I hear the audience gasp.

I look around.

Nico? Where did he go? He couldn’t have just disappeared?

His violin and bow are thrown on the ground. He wouldn’t throw them on the ground. He cares about them too much. Where is Nico?

He's next to them on the floor. Why is he lying on the floor?

Why isn’t he moving…?

Nico?!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *Tutto andrà bene = it will all be okay  
> (or at least I think it does. I'm not fluent in Italian. So if anyone is and this is wrong...sorry. Tell me and I'll change it.) 
> 
> Saint-Saens Introduction and Rondo Capriccioso:  
> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I8QFHrPSYTA
> 
> And there's another chapter! Woohoo!  
> I hope you all liked this one as well.  
> Constructive criticism is always welcome and greatly appreciated.  
> Please comment and/or kudos if you liked this chapter! I love seeing comments!  
> Thank you all for reading!!!  
> I hope you all have a great day/night wherever you are!


	7. Do you really think you can forget?

“Nico!”

Chelsea slams the hospital door open. Nico’s eyes widen and he freezes. Chelsea runs to him and squeezes him in a hug.

Nico looks towards her and towards all of us before he sighs with relief.

“Uh...Chelsea?” He mumbles.

She let's go if him. “Jeez Nico! You scared us. First you pass out on stage and then we hear two days later that you've been checked into a hospital!”

He laughs nervously. “Sorry. My aunt always overreacts. I'm just here to make sure everything’s fine. Just running a few tests.”

“Have you ever passed out like this before?” I ask.

“No. Never. I've always been a little anemic though. But I think this time, I just pushed myself too hard.”

Pushed yourself too hard because of me.

We stand around talking for a while. Well, more like everyone else talks while I stand to the side. Nico drifts his eyes towards me every once and a while, but he never says anything.

Why isn't he mad at me? He didn't make it to the next round because of me. And now he’s stuck in the hospital too.

_“Bad accompanist.”_

_“Stopping half way through.”_

_“No point in judging.”_

_“Disqualified.”_

Why isn't he mad?

“Come on guys. Visiting hours are almost over. We should go,” Lou Ellen says picking up her stuff.

Lou Ellen and Cecil wave say their goodbyes and leave the room.

Chelsea gives Nico another hug before waving goodbye.

“See ya!” Nico calls back.

I pick up my bag. “I’ll see you later.”

“Have...are you still playing the piano?” He asks quietly.

I pause. It would be easier if you just yelled at me.

“No,” I respond.

“Why not?”

“Why should I? I’m supposed to be good at the piano, and I completely screwed it up. You lost because of me.”

It would be better off for everyone if I never played again. Why did I even try? I can’t play anymore. If I try again, I’m just going to screw up again and maybe next time it’ll be even worse. I should just stop trying.

Nico gives a small smile. “I don’t care if I lost. I wasn’t  aiming to win. I just want to play. And playing with you was fun.”

Fun? Having you accompanist embarrass you on stage was fun?

“I don’t understand you?” I reply.

He shrugs.

I sigh. “Honestly, I just want to forget. Forget the piano.”

Nico eyes widen in panic. “Why? You...you seemed happy when you were playing it on stage!”

Maybe. Maybe it was kinda fun, but...but it wasn’t worth it.

“I...I guess. But I think it would be easier if I just forgot about it. I’m not as good anymore and sometimes...sometimes it feels like that’s all people expect me to be good at?”

Will Solace The Human Metronome. Make one mistake and they’re never going to forget. Well, they’re definitely not going to forget that mess I did.

“That’s not true. And even if some people do...is that really that bad?”

Is it? Is it bad? Do I even want to play the piano? I mean, I haven’t ever thought about playing it professionally. Even when Dad forced me I never wanted to make a career out of it. I’ve wanted to be a doctor since I was a kid. That’s what I want to do with my life. The piano doesn’t matter. And what people think I can or cannot do with it doesn’t matter either.

“I don’t know,” I respond.  

“Do you really think you can forget though?”

 

“What were you and Nico talking about,” Lou Ellen asks as we're walking home.

“Piano.”

We fall into silence.

“Hey, do...do you think the piano is all I’m good at?” I ask.

“Of course not!” She shouts.

I look at her waiting for her to continue.

“You have a lot of other good qualities too. Like….ahhhh…Hey look at the sky. It looks like it's about to rain. We should hurry or else we'll get drenched. Run Will! RUN!”

A drop of rain lands directly on my nose.

 

“Hey! Will! Did you see that shot?”

I look over at Chelsea behind the fence. She has her long hair tied up, and she’s wearing a jersey and cleats. Looks like she plays soccer.

She pulls out her phone and takes a picture. “I'm going to send that to Nico.”

“Nico?”

She nods. “Hey, we're going to go see him in the hospital tomorrow. He said that they'll release him then. You wanna come?”

I turn away from her. “No. I...I think it would be better if I don't go.”

Piano. Piano. Piano.

“Will. You know...he turned to you,” Chelsea commented.  

I laugh emptily. “That's cause I'm the only one who could play the piano.”

“Who cares? He still did. This is Nico we’re talking about. He...he doesn't trust people easy, and he hates asking others for help. But he asked you. You're special Will.”

“I'm not.”

“You are. I...you should come tomorrow.”

“No.”

She sighs.

“Chelsea! Stop slacking off!”

She turns to the voice. “Sorry! Coming!” She turns back towards me. “How about you stay and watch me get some more goals.”

“Someone's pumped up,” I reply with a smile.

“Of course I am. Anyone would be after watching a performance like that. The way you two  were that day is burned into my mind forever. I'll never forget! You two make a good duo!” She smiles at me and runs off.

_“I'll never forget!”_

_“Do you really think you can forget?”_

Wet. Water. Clouds. Rain. It's raining. April. It always rains in April.

I didn't bring an umbrella. I’m such an idiot. I'm going to get wet.

Run home. Run. Home.

Run.

 

**_“It’s like...it’s like  you're trying to rip away a part of yourself by force. Like  you’re trying to rip off your own limb._ **

**_“For that moment you felt it  too, right? The cheers. The applause. Knowing that somehow someone heard you._ **

**_“One mistake after another. Not worth judging. But...the people who heard us will never forget. I'll never forget. And it's because you played the piano for the first time in a long time.”_ **

_I’ll never forget._

I felt it. I definitely felt it, and I want to feel it again. All those cheers in the the past always felt fake and forced. It was like everyone was cheering out of necessity. But this, it felt real. It actually felt like people were listening and liked it.

Completely giving up the piano seems wrong, but playing it again seems impossible.

Maybe the first step is the hardest, and I did it, but what am I supposed to do now?

 

BRIIIIING!!!.

Lunch time! Time for peanut butter and jelly sandwiches!

I turn the corner and...Nico?

I lean against the wall out of view. So he did get discharged. I take a deep breath. Alright I…

“There you are,” a girl says. Chelsea.

“I wasn't really hiding,” he replies.

“Well come on. It's time to eat. And don’t you dare say you’re not hungry.”

He smiles at her and the two of them walk away.

I frown and grip my lunch tighter.

 

What am I doing?

He just needed an accompanist. That's all there is to it. I’m just thinking too hard.

I stop in my tracks. Colorful circles and squares drawn with chalk are spread over the walkway.

Hop scotch?

“Jump. Skip. Hop.”

I look up and see two eightish year old girls jumping across the squares.

The bridge over the stream is close by. Lou Ellen, Cecil, and I always used to play here. Sometimes we played hopscotch too. Lou Ellen also always used to push me off the bridge and into the stream.

“Jump. Hop. Skip.”

“You should play too mister!” One of the girls shouts.

Is she talking to me?

“It's alright. I helped draw it. I didn't want to play.”

Wait….I know that voice.

“Nico?”

He looks up at me. “Hey!”

“What are you doing?”

“What does it look like? Hopscotch.”

“He said he was waiting for someone,” one of the girls answers.

He turns towards them and shushes them. He turns back towards me and sighs before holding out his hand.

I stare towards him confused. “Why are you holding out you hand?” I ask.

“My gift. For getting discharged. Where is it?”

“Gift?! I don't have a gift.”

“No gift?! That's not fair! You ruin my performance, don't come see me when I get discharged from the hospital, and now you have nothing to apologize. Chelsea got me chocolate and Lou Ellen and Cecil got me flowers, and you're here empty handed?”

“You're a terrible person mister!” One of the girls says to me.

“What?”

“Cruel!” The other one says.

What the heck? Everyone’s ganged up on me!

“Calm down. Calm down,” I plead. I'll get you anything you want. I'll do anything you want! Just calm down.”

“Anything?” Nico asks.

This is a bad idea. A very bad idea.

“Yes.”

“Success!” Nico shouts.

Yep. Bad idea.

He turns towards the girls. “What should I ask him to get? What should I ask him do?” He turns back towards me. “I know!” He cheers.

This is bad. Why did I agree to this?

He stares straight at me with a blank expression, “Enter a piano competition.”

Enter a what?

“There no way I could do that,” I whisper.

Why would he even suggest it? I’ve already screwed up enough.

“Why not?” He asks. “You were playing the other day.” He pauses. “Are you still afraid?”

I look down.

Yeah, I’m afraid. If I enter a piano competition, then it’ll only be me on the stage. If I screw up, everyone will definitely care, and there’s no way I’ll be able to fix it myself.

“You're looking down again,” Nico chides.

I don't move.

Nico sighs. “Hey. Everyone's always afraid of getting on stage. Maybe you'll mess up. Maybe the audience will hate you. Maybe all of your friends will finally agree with you that you suck.”

Is this supposed to make me feel better? Cause it’s not making me feel better.

“But you still need to take a deep breath and try anyways.”

“That's how you feel. I...I don't really have anything motivating me to play.” I look up at him. “I used to love music. I loved playing the piano. It was the only thing I had and then I just abandoned it. I look back down.  “I don't deserve to play again.”

The only reason I played was to make Dad happy. Where did that get me?

But I want to play. I really do.

But I don’t.

But I do.

But why?

Why don’t I just give up? Why can’t I just let music and the piano go? Why? It would be so much easier. So much easier.

I hear a laugh. A laugh?

“I'm sure there are plenty of musicians in the same boat. Thinking...what the hell is point? Or...why should I? Or...music didn't get me anything why should I try again now?”He pauses. “I think you forgot that I used to be in the same boat. In all honesty, I still have days where I wonder what the point is. But it made my aunt happy, so I played again, and soon I found why I actually wanted to play. And sometimes I forget it, but I keep reminding myself no matter how many doubts I have and keep playing.”

He started playing again. If I'm saying that I don't deserve to play anymore, then I'm saying that he doesn't deserve to either.

Maybe all I need to do is play. Maybe if I just keep playing, I’ll find my reason to play. I’ll find my motivation.

And then maybe it won’t hurt so much.

“We're still in 14 Will,” Nico continues.  “Don't fret on all the small stuff all the time. It only ever holds you back. If you want to play the piano, then you play the piano and if you screw up, it’s okay cause you’re still young and you have time left.”

His words fade at the end, and his eyes cloud over. “But your time doesn’t last forever, so don’t waste it and regret it in the end,” he whispers.

I frown. Where did all his energy go? What is he thinking about?

“Nico? Are you…?”

He cuts me off by  kicking the ground and then runs to the edge of the bridge and climbs on top of it.

“Throw your fears away and just jump into it! Like this!” He jumps off the railing and into the stream. The girls gasp. I stare in surprise.

Nico breaches the top of the water a few seconds later.

“He survived,” one if the girls observes.

“That was not one of my better ideas,” Nico shouts. He pushes his wet bangs out if his eyes and starts laughing. “But it was fun!”

He waves up at us and the girls wave back with smiles on both of their faces.  

“ _Do you really think you can forget?”_

That moment...when I could tell that my music reached someone felt…

I drop my backpack on to the bridge and climb up the railing.

I jump.

Maybe he’s right. Maybe I just need to stop thinking and instead jump into things. If I keep thinking over everything, then it’ll keep hurting, and I’ll probably regret it.

I fall into the water.

“Woah!” I hear Nico shout.

I stay under the water.

“Go piano dude!” I hear the two girls shout. They must be really loud if I can hear them underwater.

“Will. Will! Are you okay?” Nico asks.

I can hear concern in his voice, so I breach through the water.

“There you are?” Nico sighs in relief.

I look at Nico and start laughing.

“Have you gone crazy?” he asks.

“Why did I do that?”

“You tell me?” He groans in frustration before he starts laughing too.

This would probably look strange to an outsider. Two teenage boys laughing in the stream.

I look at Nico.

There's no way I could forget.

Afterall, I am a musician.

And I may have quit, but maybe this was the push I needed to try again.

Just like you did.  

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And here's another a chapter!  
> I'm not too happy with this chapter, but I didn't want to wait forever before posting it.  
> I'm sorry that this chapter took a while. I've been taking and studying for IB exams, and I got an idea for another story.  
> I hope it doesn't disappoint!  
> If you like this story so far, then please leave comments and/or kudos!  
> I love reading comments!  
> Constructive criticism is also welcome!  
> Thank you all for reading!  
> I hope you all have a great day/night wherever you are!


	8. Suffering

“This shirt is too big,” Nico complains. 

“You're just tiny,” I yell back from the kitchen. 

“I am not! Shut up!” 

I chuckle as I pour  hot water into cups and stir chocolate powder in. That'll warm us up after jumping into a stream like idiots. 

I pick up both cups and head to the room where I left Nico. He's not there. Where'd he go? I walk deeper into the house and find him in the old piano room. 

Books are scattered everywhere. Everything is covered in dust. There are wilted flowers on the small table in the back. Random papers are scattered on the floor. But that’s what you would expect from a room that no one has  been for years. 

Nico walks over to the piano and pushes everything off of it and onto the floor. 

“What,” I yell as stuff flies over to me. 

I look back at Nico. His arms are leaning against the piano and he’s leaning his head against them. 

“I'm sorry,” he whispers. 

Sorry to who? The piano? 

“I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry.” 

I begin to panic. What's wrong? He has too much emotion behind his words for it to just be directed towards a piano. 

I start walking over to him, but he gets up and runs over to the window before I get close. He pulls away the curtain. That causes most of the dust to fly towards him and he starts coughing. I set the cups of hot chocolate on the piano and walk towards him. 

“You okay?” I ask. 

He gives me a half hearted glare. It takes another minute for him to stop coughing and wipe the tears from his eyes. 

He immediately opens the window and this time gives me a glare with fire behind it.  “The first step to good playing is a good playing environment. We're going to clean this place until it's spotless!” 

No practising today then, huh? 

I look out the window. Lou Ellen? 

She's sitting near her window with a book  staring at us with a confused expression. Nico follows my gaze and smiles. 

“Oh, Lou Ellen hey!” Nico calls to her, “ I didn't know you lived next door.”

“Hey!” She called back as she waves. 

“Will's going to play the piano!” Nico calls out. 

Lou Ellen's eyes widen, and she looks towards me with a soft smile. 

“Well don't let me stop you. Is Will practising now?” she asks. 

“Well...he will...eventually.. We're going to first have to clean up this entire room. It's a mess,” Nico admonishes.  

I sigh. There goes my entire evening. 

 

What is this? This is terrible. Completely terrible. It sounds like a person smashing at random keys. 

“This is me playing?” I ask. 

Please say no. Even if it’s a lie, say no. 

“Yep. I recorded it,” Nico confirms.  

I let out a groan. “That’s supposed to be Chopin's Etude Op. 25 No. 5? How? That can't be me. I can't possibly be this bad. The tempo is all out of whack. Nothing sounds right. There's  no way!” 

“Yea you suck,” I hear. 

I turn towards the window. Lou Ellen, Cecil, and Chelsea are standing there with unamused expressions. Or well, Cecil's trying to look unamused. But it’s pretty obvious he’s trying to hold in a laugh. 

I lie down on the floor. I can't do this. I should just back out now. There's no way I can compete sounding like this. I sounded better than this the first time I played the piano. I’ve regressed! 

“I…” I start but get interrupted. 

“Don't think of backing out now. I already signed you up.” Nico says while throwing something up and down. I sit back up and stare at it. That look familiar...

“Is that my wallet?!” 

He gives me a mischievous smirk and throws it at me. I catch it. It is my wallet. When did he get it?! I got so good at protecting my things that even Cecil can’t steal them from me. How is Nico better than him? 

“So how big is this competition?” Cecil asks. 

“It's a national competition that's ranked pretty well. A lot of famous musicians started here. If he wins, he might even get the opportunity to play in high class places or overseas in Europe or something!” 

“Wow. That's big.” Cecil says in awe. 

I'm doomed! There's no way I can go on stage like this. I was planning to sign up for some small competition or something. Someplace where no one would care if I messed up. Why did Nico have to sign me up to some big competition? Now I have to actually prepare! And somehow become good again! I can’t do this myself! 

“I need to find an instructor.” I muse. 

“Come on Will, “ Nico argued. “This is your chance to show that you can play even though you can't hear the notes. 'It takes courage to sail in uncharted waters’!” 

“Who said that?”

“Snoopy.”

“Charlie Brown's dog.” 

“Yep!” 

“Of course.”

His expression become softer. “Visualize what you're playing. 'Before your fingers touch the keys, you must begin the piece mentally. You must have it settled in your mind.” 

“Anton Rubinstein.” 

Dad used to say that quote when I first started to play. Funny. 

“Why do you play the piano Will? Is it for someone else? For yourself? How do you want to play the piece? What do you think of when you hear it? How do you want to express Chopin? Think of all that before you play.”

I stare at him. He has a far away look in his eyes like he’s remembering something. Like he’s hiding something. There’s something there. Something that Nico’s hiding from him. Something that’s making mel not understand him properly. Something. 

“Anyways,”Nico says breaking the tense atmosphere. He picks up his backpack and walks to the window where Lou Ellen and the rest are. “You think of that, and I'll see you later! Good luck! ” He jumps out of the window and runs off. Chelsea and Cecil shrug and follow after him with a wave. 

“Good luck Will!” Lou Ellen calls out before running off with them. 

“Wait! You’re not going to help me?” 

Silence. 

Well, then. I thought I would at least get some help. 

I look at the piano from my position on the floor. 

“I guess it's just you and me.” 

What do I see when I hear this piece? 

How do I want to express Chopin? 

 

“So what do you see?” Nico asks. 

“Eggs. Sunny side up. And orange juice,” I answer. 

Nico frowns and gives me a disbelieving look. “Eat breakfast before you play!” 

 

“What do you want to express?” 

“I don’t know,” I groan in frustration. I stare at the piece. “It’s kinda messy.” 

“What do you mean?” Nico asks as he comes over and sits down next to me. 

“Like it just sounds messy. But at the same time it’s kinda happy. But then…” I point further into the piece, “Over here, after the rest,  it starts sounding all put together and happy. Like a beautiful spring day. And then it starts picking up and it feels like the happiness starts to fall apart and the character is sad, but they want to be happy, and they’re struggling for it. And then there’s the spring day happiness again before the messy happiness is back. And then it gets all fast and suspenseful, but, in the end, it’s all happy again. Like the character is smiling.” 

Nico looks like he’s trying to control himself from jumping up and down in joy. “That’s what you see?” 

“Yeah. That’s what I see. It’s like a story.” 

Nico nods. “That’s how Chopin expressed it. Now how do you want to express that story?” 

How did I want to express that story? How did I want to take those emotions and craft the same story but in my own way. 

“I don’t know yet. But I’ll figure out.” 

“I’m sure you will,” Nico replies gently. 

I smile. I look towards the sheet music and start playing again. Nico follows my fingers with his eyes. A small smile is on his face. 

This is nice. The cool breeze. The soft sounds from the piano. The comfortable atmosphere. It’s nice. 

 

Music room again. 

I look over towards Nico. He's lying  on the ground asleep. 

I get up and walk up to him and crouch down. He was a peaceful expression on his face and a gently smile. I smile. He looks like his name while he's sleeping. Like an angel. 

He’s slightly shivering though. I walk over to the piano and grab my jacket to drape it over him. It wasn’t like I was using it for myself anyways. 

I turn back to the piano and sit down. Time for more practise. 

Expression. Emotion. Story. Chopin. 

Happiness. Struggling. Happiness. Messy. Beautiful. Exciting. Passionate. 

Everything. 

I can do this. I can do this. 

I hear a small sound come from behind me. I turn around and find Nico curling up into a small ball with his eyes shut tight. He shivering again. This time though, I don't think it's because he’s cold. 

I get up from the piano chair and crouch down next to him. 

He has drops of sweat sliding down his forehead, and I can hear him whimpering much clearer now. I shake him lightly and call him name. 

Nothing. 

I yell a bit louder and shake him more forcefully. This causes him to immediately sit up. I back away a bit, so I don't get hit. Nico looks around the room in alarm for a few seconds before it seems like he figures out where he is. He sighs in relief laying back on the ground. 

“You alright,” I ask. 

Nico nods, but his eyes seem distant. He may not seem as tense or frightened, but it's obvious that something is wrong. He’s obviously shaken up by whatever he just dreamed about. 

“You don't look alright,” I point out.  

Nico sighs. “It was nothing Will. Just a nightmare. I'll be okay. Go practise. It’s fine.” 

I purse my lips and shake my head.He’s as stubborn as always. 

I slide over and lean against the wall next to him. I look back over to him. His eyes are glassy and his hands are shaking. 

Nothing? Sure. You wouldn’t be able to fool anyone. 

My jacket is now lying on the ground next to him. He grabs it and stares at it in confusion. 

“You looked cold,” I explain. 

He looks towards me and then back at the jacket and nods. 

“You can wear it if you want. I’m not using it.” He stares at it hesitantly for a few seconds before he gives in and puts in on before laying back down. He leaves the zipper open and buries his hands into the sleeves. He would have to roll it up to get his hands through anyways. It’s too big. 

We fall into silence again. Nico still looks like he’s panicked but trying to control it. My eyes land on his shirt. It’s a black t-shirt with some Math equation thing that probably mean be greater than average considering that’s what it says right underneath it on the shirt on it, and it has the NASA logo underneath it. 

NASA. That reminds me of something that happened  a few weeks ago. 

“ _ Twinkle twinkle Little star,”  _ I start singing. 

Nico turns his head to towards  me with a look of confusion. 

_ “How I wonder what you are. Up above the world so high.”  _

A small smile spreads across his lips. It seems like my plan worked. 

“ _ Like a diamond in the sky-y.”  _

Nico joins in for the last bit, and we finish up the song. 

“ _ Twinkle twinkle Little star. How I wonder what you are.”  _

The room delves into silence. The only sound is the from the wind blowing the trees outside the open window. 

I look back at Nico. He looks a bit better now. His eyes are still distant, but he seems more calm. He isn’t shaking anymore. He looks more...here. 

“You know,” he whispers a few minutes later breaking the silence. “My sister...Bianca, she liked to tell me all these space things when I was younger. She got me to be as interested as she was. Maybe more. She always used to bring me to the roof of our house, and we would watch the stars. Well, back in Italy. After we moved here, we didn't do that as much.” 

“You lived in Italy?” I ask just as softly. I didn't want to ruin the atmosphere. 

“Yeah. I was born there. My family moved here when I was seven.” 

That would explain the slight accent. It’s Italian apparently. 

“You speak really good English for it not being your first language. You do have a bit of an accent though.” 

“My dad spoke to us in English. I was born with it. And I don't have an accent anymore,” he ends with a scowl. 

I chuckle. “You do too. Barely, but it's there. It's nice.” 

“It's not nice,” he pouts. “Dad made me get rid of it.” 

I frown. “Get rid of it?” 

“Yeah. He made me and Bianca practice speaking everyday, so we would sound ‘normal’.” He uses his finger to make air quotes around normal. ”Our accents sounded bad. He said no one would take us seriously and we would get made fun of if we didn’t lose them.” 

I had to admit that Nico’s dad had a point there. There would probably be some rude person (or people) who hated them or hurt them because of them. 

“Well, I think you have a nice voice.” 

Nico didn't reply to that, but he had small smile on his face and his cheeks were slightly red, so I must have said the right thing. 

“Stars are really pretty aren't they?” Nico mutters after a couple minutes of silence. 

I nod. “Maybe we can look at them together some day.” 

Nico smiles. “I'd like that.” 

***

“So, Nico, how are things going? Will was practically pulling his hair out the the other day.”

“He's getting better. Doesn't sound like a complete trainwreck anymore.” 

“You don't think he's been pushing himself too hard. I mean...I want him to play the piano again, but I don't want him to suffer.”

“He's trying to turn his suffering into music. Exposing you pain and suffering. Showing who you really are. That's how we’re connected to our music, Lou. Our emotions...it's how we make our music come alive. That's what he's doing.”

“Huh? Well, he definitely looks like he's  deep into it.” 

“I turn here. I'll see you tomorrow!” 

“You live in the direction of the hospital?” 

“Ummm...yeah. Just past it.”

“Oh. Well, see ya Nico!” 

“See you!” 

***

How do I want to play this piece? And why? 

“Don't work yourself to hard?” 

I look up. Nico's standing in front of me, handing me a water bottle. I take it, and he moves to lean against the window pane next to me to look outside. 

Who am I playing for? What am I playing for? A person? A reason? 

“Maybe you should pack up for the day. It's already night,” Nico suggests.  

“A little longer,” I argue.  “And then I'll go.”

I need to play Chopin, but I need to make the audience hear me. I’m not just playing Chopin. I’m playing Will Solace too. 

“The sun is setting,” Nico whispers.  

“My house is close by.” 

What do I see? What do I want to express? What emotion do I want the audience to see? To feel? 

“Do you hate me?” Nico asks. 

“What?” I sap out of my thoughts and stop playing. 

Where did that come from? Did I say something wrong? Did I not say something right? Did I accidently ignore him? 

“Lou Ellen said that you were suffering,” Nico starts to explain. “And...well, if you are that's my fault isn't it? You were trying as hard as possible to get as  away from the piano and then I come in and tell you to play. That's why your piano was covered in books and dust. You wanted to forget about it. Never see it again. And I ruined that and instead hurt you.”

I turn towards him. His back is towards me, so I can’t see what expression he’s making. 

He's worried about  _ that _ ? That's unexpected. But then again, seeing him shaken up after a nightmare and hearing him open up was unexpected too. Maybe it's just weird seeing him so vulnerable when I’ve seen him so full of life all the time. Well, usually. There were a lot of moments where he looked like he was about to break, but he always bounced back soon after. 

How much of the Nico I know even real? 

But that’s not important right now. He’s upset because of something that he shouldn’t be worried over, and I need to fix that. 

“I'm suffering? I guess I'm not doing a good job at hiding it, but of course I am,” I start. I stand up and walk towards him. “I tried to take something important to me and bury it in dust.” I lean against the wall next to him. “But you're the one who cleared the dust away.”

“What?” He turns towards me and we lock eyes. 

“You can't go on a journey without suffering and right now…’I'm sailing on uncharted waters', right?” 

His eyes widen slightly and a small smiles plays on his lips before he turns away and looks back outside. 

“It might be painful, but it's also fulfilling,” I continue. “This entire time I've been trying to forget, but I know now it's impossible because you proved it. So instead I should be thanking you.” 

A big smile spreads across my lips. 

Maybe in the beginning I was annoyed. Maybe in the beginning I wished we didn't meet. Maybe in the beginning I wished that I didn't meet some pushy reckless violinist. 

But now I'm grateful. 

“You swept all the dust away when you came into my life, so thank you,” I finish. 

The first step is always the hardest. It doesn't seem like it's getting easier, but it hurts less. The piano hurts less. Instead of trying to push it away by force, I'm letting myself embrace it and see what happens. I used to like the freedom the piano gave me, but then I was trapped in chains of perfection. I wanted to play like I used to, but I couldn't. I couldn't cause there was nothing to motivate me. Nothing to push me. 

You were the push I needed. 

And now I’m playing. And it’s hard. And sometimes I want to quit, but...but at the same time I don’t want to give up now. I want to keep trying and see where it takes me. Maybe I won’t be the best, but I want to try again. I actually want to play at this competition now. And I wouldn’t be thinking that right now if you hadn’t pushed me. 

“You suck,” Nico complains. He smiles at me with tears in his eyes. 

A laugh escapes my throat, and soon he stares at me in surprise before he starts laughing too. 

I'm glad that we met. Because ever since that day, my entire world...my piano...I've finally been able to see them in color. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you all liked that chapter!   
> Thank you for reading!   
> If you liked this chapter and want to see more, please comment and/or kudos!   
> I love seeing comments and feedback!   
> Constructive Criticism and suggestion are welcome and I appreciate them!  
> I hope you all have a great day/night wherever you are! :)


	9. Butterscotch

“How do I still suck!?” I yell. 

“Lame. Pathetic. Mediocre. Bad. No imagination” Nico responds monotonous. 

I collapse on the floor. I should just give up. Forget it. 

“But,” Nico continues, “at least you've got the piece down. I have to admit. You did better than I thought you would.” 

“I’m not that incompetent!”I sit up and sigh. “Even if I play the sheet music perfectly, it won't be enough. Chopin he...he's whispering to me. 'Where are you in all of this?’ I don't just want to play Chopin. I want to play me. I don't want to be the 'Human Metronome'. I want to be Will Solace.” 

The Human Metronome is what Dad wanted. It’s what I always tried to live up to. It’s what always made him happy. But I don’t want that anymore. I don’t want to play just to win. I want to play because I want to. I want to play what I want to. 

But it’s hard. It’s hard to stop being perfect. 

I hear footsteps walking towards me. 

“Hey. How about we take a break and go watch the sports game. Regionals start today,  and you could use a change in scenery.”

I stand up and sit down in front of the piano. “I'll pass. I need to be perfect.”

If I can’t be me, I should at least be good enough to play the piece. 

“You’re not going to be perfect if you’re too tired to play,” Nico argues rolling his eyes. “Come on. We're going to the game, and you're going to cheer them on. You need to clear your mind. And your friend Cecil is playing.” 

Cecil did mention that didn’t he? 

He grabs my arms and starts pulling me to the door. 

“Fine,” I grumble. 

Maybe a small break would help. A chance to clear my head. 

Besides, Cecil came to support me. I should be there to cheer him on too. 

 

***

“Here's the list of the other contestants that will be entering. I think you will be happy to see the highlighted name.” 

_ Rip _

_ “ _ Finally! He's finally back! Will Solace is finally back! I'll finally be able to enact my revenge for all those years of humiliation. Finally!” 

***

 

“Will! You came!” Cecil shouts as he runs up to us. 

“I…” I start, but Nico interrupts me. 

“Of course he came. You’re his friend. It might have taken some reminding to get him out here though.” 

A big smile came to Cecil’s face. “Don’t spend all of your energy on the piano Will. You have other things to do too.” 

“Cecil! Get over here! We’re starting!” Coach Hedge yelled. 

“Oh that’s me,” Cecil announces. He gives us a smirk. “Watch me strike everyone out.” 

 

5-5.

Cecil clearly didn’t strike everyone out, but that didn’t mean he was bad. The other team was just good too. It was the last inning and there was only batter left. Our team had already gone, and Cecil managed to strike two people out. Just one more person, and we would tie.And then...Will wasn’t sure what happened after that. He didn’t know much about baseball.  

Cecil was staring at the batter while biting his lip. 

“Go Cecil!” Lou Ellen shouted from next to me. 

He looked towards us with a smile before positioning himself and throwing a really smooth ball. It didn’t look like there was anything special about it. A smooth ball traveling slowly at a curve. 

But the batter missed. 

“It’s called an Eephus,” Chelsea explains. “The ball from our angle looks like an easy hit, but in reality it isn’t. To the batter it looks like it’s a standard pitch, so they swing the bat accordingly. But it’s actually moving slower, so they miss. It’s actually really hard to do. It’s really amazing that Cecil can do it.” 

“It has to do with deception. Of course he can,” I reply. 

Cecil throws another ball. This one curves at the last moment. The batter swings his bat and drops it. He looks down at it with a confused expression. Cecil looks like he’s controlling his laughter. 

The batter picks up his bat and repositions himself. Cecil smirks and throws another ball. Everyone holds their breathes. 

The ball flies through the air and a loud  _ chink _ fills that field. The batter immediately drops the bat and runs to second base. The ball ends  up in the left outfield. The batter keeps running and stops at third base a moment before the person at third base catches the ball. 

“That’s bad,” Lou Ellen whispers.

“If the next batter hits the ball, then they’ve won,” Chelsea adds.  

The next batter walks up to the plate. 

 

***

“It looks like you've already heard.”

“Heard what?”

“That he's coming back.”

“Hmm...who?”

“You can't fool me. You're practising too much for you not to know.” 

“You're imagining things.”

I've been wondering where you've been. And now you finally return. Just you wait. You're going to get crushed this time! 

***

 

“The competitions soon,” Nico says. 

“I...I know,” I stammer out. 

“Don't be nervous. Even of you fail, even if the audience laughs at you, you'll still have people to go back to. So don't worry.”

I nod. 

People to go back to. I'll have people to go back to. Remember that Will. Remember that. 

“You don't have to be perfect. You're not Beethoven or Chopin.”

“Then who am I?”

“Will Solace obviously. Didn't you say that this morning?” He scoffs. 

“You know what I mean.” 

He smiles. “That's for you to figure out. Who you are and why  you play.” 

Who I am and why I play. 

“I guess.”

“You'll be fine. It’s not like Beethoven or Chopin figured it out as soon as they started trying. First you learn to play. Then you find out where you are in all of that.” 

I look back to the piano. I know the piece by heart now. I could turn myself on autopilot and still play the entire piece. But that’s not what I want. I want to be there when I play.

“Cecil lost,” Nico says.  

“It was pretty close too,” I add. 

The batter who came out got a lucky swing and hit the ball to second base. The batter was out, but the guy on third plate was able to get to home first. It was as entire series of the other team’s good luck. 

I turn back to the piano and start playing. 

“And Cecil was awesome,” Nico comments, “Even though they didn't win, they were awesome. And even if you don't win, you're going to go out there and be awesome.” 

Win? I'm hoping to not humiliate myself. 

But I guess, I do want to be awesome. 

Where am I, within all these notes? 

I don't know. 

I don't know. 

I don't know.

 

“Will?!” The door to the nurse's office slams open, and Nico runs in with a panicked look on his face. I stare at him from the  bed I’m sitting on while eating a sandwich. 

“Hi,” I remark with the sandwich to my lips. 

“Hi?” He greets, but it's more like a question.“You passed out during PE, and I find you here eating a sandwich. What happened?” 

“The nurse said that I passed out...because...well I haven't exactly been eating or sleeping as much as I should,” I mumble. 

“Will.” He walks over to my bed. “I know you're nervous, but you  _ can't  _ skip meals and sleep. Your health is important! I thought you liked sinking your nose in medical textbooks. You should know this.” 

I laugh nervously. “Yea...I'm normally the one telling people to live healthy. I guess I just got too focused.” 

I got myself to the point of passing out from exhaustion and still don’t know what I’m doing. 

Nico sighs. “Will?” 

I shake my head. “I feel better now though, so don't worry,” I console.  

“Sure. Just...this competition isn't as important as your health okay. Don't get yourself sick over it.” 

“Yeah.”

I did go overboard. Apparently, all those medical textbooks didn’t teach me anything. 

“You can't play the piano if you're weak. And...and it doesn't help anyone.” Nico continues. His voice is strained like he's forcing the words out. 

I must have worried him more than I thought. 

“Sorry Nico. I'll pay more attention from now on.” 

He nods and sits down on my bed. “You better,” he mumbles. 

 

“You're feeling better now for sure right?” Nico asks for the tenth time. 

“The nurse let me go home, so yes Nico,” I reply trying to keep the annoyance out of my tone. This is the seventh time he asked. And I thought I worried about people’s health too much. 

“Hmm...you really like milk don't you? You're always drinking it.”

That was an unexpected question. I look down at the milk carton in my hand. “Not particularly. Coincidence I guess.” 

“Hey look! It's that cat again.”

This conversation does not want to stay on one topic does it? 

I turn to where Nico is looking. 

Blue eyes staring straight at me. Like

...like they're looking into my soul. 

_ “What are you doing, Will?”  _

Who's voice is that? Dad? No. Impossible. 

I drop my milk and my knees buckle underneath me. I'm going to throw up. What the heck? 

Calm down Will. He's not here. It's just some street cat. It's just some random street cat. 

“Will! What's wrong?” Nico shouts in alarm. 

“I...I," I start, but then I start to gag and can't finish. 

Why am I so pathetic? I can't even look at some stupid cat without freaking out. 

“Okay. Okay,” Nico says panicked. “Take deep breaths. Deep breaths. I think there's a park nearby. You can sit down on a bench there.” He grabs my arm and pulls me up. I stagger behind him as he guides me to a park. 

Great job Will. This is the second time you've worried him today.

Nico leads me over to one of the gray park benches and has me sit down. He takes a seat next to me and doesn't look away. 

I take deep breaths. Why am I freaking out over a cat. It's just a cat. There's no reason I should be….

I turn to Nico. His expression is emotionless, but he's staring at me as if he's expects something to go wrong at any moment. 

Well, I guess he should be worried. I looked like I was dying. But what should I tell him? That I ended up eating too much after I passed out? That would probably work, but…

“When I was younger I had a cat.” 

Nico blinks a few times before nodding his head for me to continue. 

“I named her Butterscotch since she always stole my candy.” 

She was a cute little kitten. She taught me the very valuable lesson of not leaving my stuff just lying around. Made it easier to be around Cecil. 

“I liked her and she was normally a good cat, but one day...I guess I annoyed her too much and the scratched my hand. They were pretty deep scratches and the blood kept dripping. It was pretty scary for  eight year old me.” 

I pause and look down at my lap. 

“My dad, he decided to get rid of Butterscotch. He said that it was for my own good. It was important that my hands were safe. I never saw Butterscotch again.” 

She's probably dead now. She was just a kitten. Or maybe some nice older cat showed her the ropes of being a street cat. 

“When I saw that cat, I guess I'm just under a lot of stress, but I saw her. And then I saw Dad taking her away and...I didn't…” I take a deep breath. “I didn't even try to stop him. I just watched him pick her up and leave. I could have said something. I could have tried to stop him, but I just stood there like I was my dad's shadow. I guess things haven't really changed. I'm still playing the piano like a perfect little machine. I'm sure he's happy.” 

I sigh. Maybe that's why I can't add real emotions into my music. I don't have any. That's how I was taught. To leave my emotions and play the music. 

How much of that has spread into my real life? How many of my emotions are actually real? Maybe at some point I really did turn into a machine. 

“You like reading medical books,” Nico starts.”And you like Berry pancakes. And you're always drinking milk even if you want to deny it. You normally only order salty foods, but you have a bit of a sweet tooth too.” 

What?

“You aren't the best when it comes to sports. You do well in school and you're nice to everyone you meet.” 

So? What does this have to do with anything? What does this have to do with a story about a cat?

“You're not your dad's shadow. You're you. Will Solace. And that's who you'll always be. You're not a shadow. Your more like...like the sun. You may not  seem like one of a kind. There are billions of other stars in the sky, but you're special, and when other people hear about you they only focus on you and forget that others like you exist. Sometimes they forget that you're even in the same category as the others. ” He stands up. “You don't have to be like Chopin or Mozart to be amazing. Chopin and Mozart already exist. If you're just like them, you'll just be another white dwarf. But you're Will Solace. And you're not Mozart and you'll never be Mozart.” He turns around and looks at me. “And you're not your dad. You will never be your dad. You're Will Solace and that's who you'll always be.”

A smile comes to my lips. 

Like the sun, huh? 

I guess what he’s saying is true though. Maybe I’ve been spending too much time trying to be great like Beethoven or Mozart when I should be spending time to be as great as me. Everyone is different, and everyone leaves a different mark. My emotions aren’t like Mozart's. My emotions are my own, and the only way I can express them is if I accept that I’m not like everyone else. 

“Unless you change your name…” Nico adds. “But you’ll be the same person then. You’ll just have a different name. Ummm…” 

I pause and soon break into a laugh. “You really have a way with words sometimes,” I respond between laughs. 

“Yea, sometimes. Then other times I can barely order a burger at McDonald's without freaking out.” 

He gives me a huge smile before turning towards the sunset. 

I laugh myself out and look up at the sky with him. 

He sits down next to me with a peaceful expression on his face. 

“ Just put everything you have into your performance. So when you perform people will see you. They'll see Will Solace.” 

He turns to face me and grabs my hand. I stare at him confused. 

“They’ll see you cause you used these hands to play the piano again. They’ll see you because you decided to put your heart into it.” 

He lets go of my hand and turns back to the sky. 

After all the questions, the suffering, the thinking, the answer I've arrived at is actually simple. 

How do I want to play Chopin? What do I want to express? 

Everyone’s been telling me the same thing the entire time, and I was too stubborn to accept it. Well, no more. 

The competition is tomorrow.

I still can't hear the notes. 

I don't know if I'll be okay, but...

There's at least someone who believes in me and believes in the power of music a bit too much. 

So maybe...I should start believing just a tiny bit too.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Competition starts next chapter. Two of the competitors have just been introduced.   
> I hope you all enjoyed!   
> PLEASE leave comments and/or kudos if you enjoyed and want to see more.   
> I love seeing comments!!!   
> I hope you all have a great day/night wherever you are


	10. Let it Begin

“Is this seriously where the competition is happening? There's so much glass. And it's huge!” Cecil shouts. 

It was a big building, but more wide than tall. It was the building was white, but it looked like it was entire covered with windows on all sides. The sun shining on the building made it look like it was made of crystal. 

“Well, I'm off,” I announce looking away from the building. 

I turn away from the group and start walking towards the door. 

“Umm...Will,” Lou Ellen says grabbing my arm, “The competition is in the other direction.”

“What?” I look at the sign pointing to the hall. I could have sworn it was pointing the other way two seconds ago. 

“Are you okay?” Cecil asks. 

I nod my head. I need to calm down. I can't be so distracted that I didn't even pay attention to where the front door is. 

“Woah. Look at this.,” Nico calls. 

I turn towards him. He's looking at some pamphlet in his hand with his eyebrows scrunched and biting his lip.

“What?” I ask, worry slipping into my voice. 

He stands in front of me and holds out the pamphlet he was holding. It  was the list of contestants. 

“What's wrong with the contestants?” 

“Look at what your entry number is.”

I look around the sheets until I focus on my own entry. 

“265?” I ask confused. “What's special about that?”

He pouts. “Kochel?” 

I frown. “The guy who compiled Mozart's songs? 

He nods with a smile. “Yep.”

I still didn't get it. 

“What’s special about 265?”

Nico sighs frustrated. “Kochel No. 265. Twinkle Twinkle Little Star.” A small hesitant smile spreads  across his face. “The stars are shining down on you and cheering.” 

I stare at him for a few moments before a smile spreads on my  own face and I can feel some of the butterflies fly away from my stomach.

No one should be allowed to be that cute. 

But the thought was conforming. Twinkly Twinkle Little Star. That's our song isn't it? Maybe this won't end badly. 

I start laughing. His smile gets larger. 

“Now go in there and give it you best!” He cheers. 

I turn towards the doors and take a deep breath. Alright. I got this. 

I practiced as much as I could and there was nothing more I could have done. I know this piece so well, I can play it in my sleep. 

And even if I mess up and everything goes wrong, I still have people to go back to. It's not the end of the world if I mess up. I can try again. 

I turn back towards my friends who are holding the pamphlet and pointing in different directions. 

A smile comes to my face as I enter the building. 

This will be fine. 

I look towards a sign for competitors and find that it's pointing upstairs. I follow the arrow and head of a long flight of stairs. 

“Long time no see.” 

I turn towards the owner of the voice. He's leaning against the top of the stairway with his arms crossed. 

He has dark hair that’s been tied back into a ponytail and a sharp look in his dark brown eyes. 

“Wouldn't you say.” He adds after I don't respond. 

I look at him closer. He seems familiar but…

I scratch my neck. “Ummm...who are you again?” I finally say. 

***

“Screw him! He doesn't even remember us!” 

“Calm down Damien. You're not going to get anything from getting worked up.”

“But… Ugh. I hate him.”

“Yea. Yea.”  _ Sigh. _ “You're on pretty early. You should go get changed and calm yourself down. Don't let out all of your anger during the performance.” 

“Yeah. I'm going to go show that forgetful idiot who's boss.” 

He didn't really forget us. He never knew us to begin with. All wrapped up in his own little world. Receiving special treatment just because of who his dad is. Not even paying attention to his competition.

We all try to be the best and he's so confident that he doesn't even care about everyone else.

I hate him . 

“I met him for the first time in third grade.”

“Damien.”

“I swore to myself that I would someday beat him. But even when I had my arm stretched out in front of me, he was still so far away that he could have been mistaken for a mirage. And then one day poof and he's gone.”

“But he's back now.”

“We've been waiting two years for this day.”

***

“This place is pretty empty.”

“It's actually a pretty good turnout for a piano competition.”

“It's not a sports game.”

“I know.” 

“There. Some good seats.” 

“You know I heard some interesting stuff when I went to the bathroom.”

“Do we want to know, Cecil?” 

“Do people hate Will?” 

“Hate?” 

“I wouldn't say hate.”

“Then want would you say Nico.”

“More like infamy. Will, he always played what the composer intends. He was called the human metronome because he wasn't off by even a second. No personality at all. That's kinda jarring for a young musician. Most of them want to be themselves when they play and being against someone like that is terrifying. It was like he was made for the competition scene since that's all they care about in a competition, how accurate you are. The human metronome. His father's puppet. A slave to the score. And some people are probably jealous too.”

“Well, bring them on!”

“Let me have a piece of them.”

“Lou. Cecil. Calm down!” 

“The competition will now begin.” 

***

Why do I feel sick? 

I've felt like this before a performance before. 

But now I feel like my heart is going to explode. Am I having heart palpitations? Am I going to die? This is how I die, right before a piano competition. I can't die now. Not after everything. 

Calm down Will. Calm down. 

Wait...maybe that's just nerves. I'm nervous? 

No. 

I'm scared. 

Scared. 

Scared. 

“No. 4 Mr. White, please get ready.” 

Scared.

Scared.

Scared.

“ _ Everyone's always afraid of getting on stage. _

_ “Maybe you'll mess up. Maybe the audience will hate you. Maybe all of your friends will finally agree with you that you suck. _

_ “But you still need to take a deep breath and try anyways.”  _

Try anyways. Even if I mess up, it's better than not trying at all. It's better than giving up because of fear. 

***

“Is it just me or is there a whole new vibe in here now?”

“Of course there is. Damian White, last year's winner and the crowd's favorite, just took the stage.”

“He has a fierce look in his eyes.”

“I heard that he got invited to go to a competition in Germany, but refused and decided to compete here again.”

“Germany? Why would he do that? You said he won last year.”

“You can guess why.”

“Will...he wouldn't be in Germany.” 

“He's starting.” 

“Woah.” 

“You finally decided to wake up huh Cecil?” 

“I...who's that?” 

“Nico just…”

***

For two years I've been improving just so I can catch up with you. 

Are you watching? 

Are you listening? 

This is my Chopin. 

Have I finally caught up with you yet? 

Or am I even further away? 

***

No way. This guy. Damien. He's amazing. 

“It's all because of you.” I turn to the girl standing next to me. It's the same one who was with Damien the first time I saw him. 

“You're the one who inspired him to push himself so hard, Will Solace. He did it to catch up to you.”

“Do you feel that way too?” I ask. 

“Don't make me laugh.” 

The door behind me opens up. Damien walks in and...falls over. The girl rushes over to him and helps him sit up. 

“Good work,” a few people around tell him. He looks at his hands. “Now they start trembling.” 

“Good job.” The girl says. 

He looks up at me. Which then leads to him quickly standing up and pointing at me. 

“You! Did you see that?” He shouts.

I nod with small smile of my face. “Yea. I did. You were amazing.” 

He slowly lowers his arm and looks at me stunned. “Wha...I...Huh?” He shakes his head.  “Well it was no big deal!” 

The girl shakes her head and sighs, but there's a small smile on her face. 

***

“She's cute.” 

“Who?”

“No one. I mean...you?” 

“Cecil?”

“Umm…”  

“Hmm...do you mean Chiara?”

“Yea her. Isn't she cute Nico? I mean...oh. You're cuter Lou. I swear!” 

“Her? I recognize her. And the guy who just went...Damien. I saw them when I went to see some of Will's competitions. They were always there. I...think they always placed in the top too.” 

“So how is she on the piano.”

“She’s cute, so she must be good, right Cecil?”

“Of course not Lou. Then you would be the best.”

“You're an idiot.” 

“She's good, really good, but... she's been struggling lately. She barely qualified during the prelims for a recent competition.”

“That's strange. I always remember her getting in the top 3.” 

“The competition will now be resuming.” 

“Well, I guess we'll able to see how she does.” 

***

“Goosebumps? It's turning red.”  _ Deep Breath.  _

“I haven't felt this way in a long time. In two years.” 

 

_ When I was six, I went to a piano competition to cheer on a friend. It was really boring. Just when I started dozing off this boy my age waltzes onto the stage. He was nervous. I started worrying for him and thought that he would be terrible. _

_ I later learned that that was his first competition. _

_ I decided to try sleeping again, but the moment his fingers first hit the keys...I was trapped.When the performance ended...I started to cry. Embarrassing I know. I probably scared him. He looked sad, but I...I was moved by his performance.  _

_ I decided I wanted to do the same thing.  _

_ But Will Solace changed after that. All the emotion that I felt during his first performance disappeared. It was like he became a machine. _

 

Listen to my Chopin, Will Solace. Hear all of the emotions that I'm going to pour out. 

I'm feeling good today. 

Maybe it's the weather. 

Maybe it's the muffin I had for breakfast. 

Or maybe it's because I look so good in this new dress. Red really is my color. 

Or maybe it's cause I'm having a good hair day. 

That's it. I look nice today. 

And looks translate to feeling. 

Today's a lucky day. 

No. Why am I hiding behind excuses. 

I'm playing like this because he's here and I want him to listen. 

He's gotten taller. 

Looks more mature. 

But it's definitely still him. I recognized him as soon as I saw him. 

Since that moment, I haven't been able to contain my excitement, and I'm letting it all out now. 

I'm not here to be better than Will Solace. I'm here to get him to play the way he did before. To crush everyone's false views on the human metronome. His true playing doesn't come from that. It comes the emotions he was able to play. I want to see the Will Solace from the first piano performance I watched. 

I don't want to hear the Will Solace who wins every competition. 

I don't care if I win or lose. 

I just want to hear a performance like that again. 

In those four minutes, you were able to convince me to become a pianist. 

You were my inspiration. I could have taken any path, but I chose to play the piano. 

Now in these four minutes, I'm going to convince you to once again become the guy I looked up to. 

Hear my piano. 

Hear my piano. 

Hear my piano. 

Chopin Etude Op. 25 No. 11. 

Le Vent d’hiver. 

The Winter Wind.

Hear it. Let it ring out and reach you. 

***

“Woah.”

“Chiara may seem emotionless or like she doesn't care, but when she plays she always pours all of her emotions out.”

Red and yellow. Her emotions were red and yellow. 

Anger and...loneliness?

“She once told me that she does it because of you,” Damien whispers. 

“Me?” 

“I don't know. Maybe she has a crush on you or something.” 

What?

I can feel my cheeks heat up.

“But seriously,” Damien continues, “that was insane. I don't think I've ever heard her play like that before.”

I hear the backstage door slam. We both look towards it. Chiara comes and marches straight towards us. 

She grabs my shirt. 

Why is she so close? And she's breathing hard? What is going on? 

“I…” She stares at me. Her eyes are full of intensity. I...what? 

She lets go. Her breathing calms down. 

“Sorry. I don't know why I did that. I'm going to go change.”

She walks past us and towards the bathroom. 

What just happened? 

***

_ Clack. Clack. Clack.  _

“That boy has a lot of medicine with him doesn't he?”

“I wonder what's wrong with him.”

_ Idiots. Don't pity me. _

_ Clack. Slam.  _

“Huh? Umm...Lou Ellen? Are you okay?” 

“Huh? Oh Nico? You're back! I...uhhh...I'm nervous. I'm not even this nervous during my own things, but the closer Will's turn gets...ugh.” 

“She's been like this since you left.” 

“Just sit back and relax Lou. Will will be fine.” 

“Will he?” 

“How did you decide which piece he's going to play anyway?”

“Random number generator.”

“What?!”

“It didn't matter what piece he played so there was no reason to stress over it. As long as he plays at the competition, nothing else matters.” 

“Oh Nico.”

***

This feels weird. 

Is it because it's been two years?

“Mr.Solace? You're next. Please get ready.”

“Yes. Thank you.” 

Well, this is it. 

My heart is pounding in my chest. 

And then there were those two. There performances were...were magical. There’s no way I can compete with that. Not the way I am now.

That much accuracy. That much emotion. 

_ “It doesn't matter if you win or lose as long as you play!” _

Right. I'm not here to win. I'm here to play. To try my best. To take that first step. 

Cause I am like them. I'm a musician. And I'm here to perform. 

“Are you ready?” 

“Yes.” The man points to the stage. 

“ _ Are you ready for your journey?”  _

 

_ “Come on Will! We're going to play dodgeball. It'll be fun.” _

_ “Lou, I can't right now. I'm in the middle of a lesson.” _

_ “What happened to your arm? Where did the bruises come from?” _

_ “Huh? Oh..I fell. I'm always clumsy aren't I? “ _

_ “You are a klutz, yeah.” _

_ “WILL! Get back here!”  _

_ “Whah. That scared me.” _

_ “Well, I guess I have to go now Lou. Sorry.” _

_ “Yea, good luck then.”  _

_ Click.  _

_ “Luck? I'll need it.”  _

_ Shuffle. Shuffle.  _

_ “Who was it?”  _

_ “Lou Ellen. She wanted me to play with her.” _

_ “You don't have time to play games. Now come take your seat.”  _

 

“ _ Don't run in the halls of the hospital!”  _

_ Click. _

_ “Dad, I brought the stuff you asked for.” _

_ “Thank you Will. How did your competition go?”  _

_ “I got first! Here's the certificate!”  _

_ “But that piece was giving you so much trouble?”  _

_ “I practised a bunch!”  _

_ “Good. Just hearing that makes me feel better. Your achievements make me healthier. Keep winning Will.” _

_ “I'll get first place a hundred times if it'll help you feel better.”  _

 

Don't be afraid. Don't give up. Don't freeze. Just go out there and play the best you can. 

I continue walking forward and sit down in the seat. I adjust it and take a deep breath. I look down at the keys. 

No. No. It's too much. 

“ _ We're all afraid but…” _

He's right. 

_ “Go on!” _

Damian...he might have been great but his hands were shaking. 

_ “Go on!” _

Chiara panicked after her performance. 

_ “Go on!”  _

Even Nico cried when things got too much.

“Go on,” I whisper. 

It's time to play again. Underneath the spotlight of the stage. 

Press each key and combine them together to make a song. 

I know this piece well enough to play it perfectly. 

I can still hear the notes. 

Everything is going alright so far. 

Nothing to worry about. 

I can play this piece through muscle memory if I have to. 

“ _ How do you want to play this piece?”  _

But...that's no different than I've always played. 

“ _ And that's how it should be.”  _

Dad?

“ _ A musician should be the mirror image of the score. You can't win any other way. You're going to win again for me, aren't you Will?”  _

 

_ “You were practising piano again today.” _

_ “Yea. I just came out to buy some food for Dad and me. Mom's out again.” _

_ “You only bought sandwiches Will. That's not healthy.” _

_ “But...Dad won't let me use a knife, so I can't cook.” _

_ “I'll bring you leftovers. We live next door it's not a problem.”  _

_ “Alright.” _

_ “So how's your dad doing? My mom said that he's going to be hospitalized soon.” _

_ “Yea he is.” _

_ “Why?” _

_ “Probably because of me.” _

_ “What?” _

_ “Nevermind.” _

 

_ I wasn't able to make Dad better by playing the piano and winning. That's why he got sick, that's why he went to the hospital, that's why he died.  _

 

“ _ It's Will Solace again.” _

_ “Always getting first" _

_ “The human Metronome.” _

_ “Always perfect.” _

_ “He makes me sick.” _

_ “Bland and uninspired.” _

_ “His father’s puppet.”  _

_ “Go play somewhere else.” _

_ “Get out of our way!” _

_ Shut up. Shut up. Shut up. Shut up.  _

 

_ “The hospital's letting my dad come to my next performance.”  _

_ “Really? Does that mean your dad is all better?”  _

_ “I'm sure it's because of those candy erasers I gave him.” _

_ “Shut up Cecil. What is Will's dad even going to do with those?”  _

_ “I'm sure they helped somewhat.” _

_ “See. Will agrees.” _

_ “Humph.” _

_ “I just hope I can make Dad happy. I hope my playing will help make him feel better.”  _

 

_ The entrance on the left stage. That's where he sat. A spot where I could easily see him while playing. And he's here today. I'm going to play my very best.  _

 

_ Slap! _

_ “What are you doing Lester!?”  _

_ “How can you even call that a performance?!” Thunk! _

_ “How many times have I told you to play by the score?! Follow the sheet music! Do what the composer wrote!” _

_ Thunk! _

_ “You idiot!”  _

_ Thunk!!” _

_ “Ow.” _

_ “How cruel.” _

_ “To his own son.” _

_ “I've never heard Will play better.” _

_ “What is he even mad  about?” _

_ “What am I mad about?! He played both the third and eleventh measures wrong!” _

_ “I'm going to go get a security person.” _

_ “You made these mistakes because you're drowning in your emotions! You can't become a good musician if you keep doing what your emotions tell you!”  _

_ Thunk!!!! _

_ “Ahhh!”  _

_ Drip. Drip. Drip.  _

_ “You're worthless!”  _

_ Crumble!  _

_ “How dare you throw that music!” _

_ “I just wanted to make you happy.” _

_ “Huh?” _

_ “ Even when I just wanted to play with my friends I practised. Even when you hit me and it hurt I practised. Even when everyone else kept saying things about me I ignored them and played.  _

_ “I just wanted you to get better!”  _

_ “Will…” _

_ “And yet...even though I pushed through it…you're still disappointed.I wish you were dead!”  _

 

_ Those were the last words I ever said to him.  _

 

_ “Will, are you okay?”  _

_ “Of course.” _

_ “Are you going to compete in the finals?” _

_ “Yea. It looks bad doesn't it, Lou. Worrying about a competition even though my dad just died. But this is what he would want.” _

_ “Are you sure you'll be able to?” _

_ “Of course I am. I was made to compete. Like a machine.”  _

 

_ The left side of the stage. The pace my dad always sat.  _

_ Now it's always empty and I can no longer hear the piano.  _

_ Whenever I want to play, whenever I want to use the skills my dad left behind.. I always feel like I'm drowning. Drowning at the bottom of a deep, dark ocean.  _

_ This is my punishment.  _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Damien's:  
> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kwXeCHMPWZk
> 
> Chiara's:   
> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lIdqPKy1jHg
> 
> I hope you all enjoyed this chapter  
> PLEASE leave comments and/or kudos if you enjoyed  
> I love seeing comments!!!  
> Thank you for reading! :)


	11. Sparkles

The sound of the piano. It's gone again. I can't hear it. 

I'm playing to fast. The tempos all over the place. 

I'm drowning. I'm drowning. I'm drowning. 

It's like when I accompanied Nico. 

Nico. 

No. 

Can't give up yet. 

Focus. Focus. Focus. 

Slow down. 

Focus. 

Focus on the piano and nothing else. 

Use muscle memory. 

I can do this. I can do this. 

I can…

“ _ This is your punishment.”  _

“Huh?” 

“ _ This is what you get for rejecting me. For not letting me get my dream. This is your punishment Will.” _

I know. I know. I know. 

Even if I can't hear, I can tell that this sounds like agony. 

This isn't Chopin. 

_ “This is your punishment.”  _

You're wrong.

“ _ The notes have abandoned you.”  _

You're wrong. 

“ _ The piano has abandoned you.” _

No _. _

_ “No matter how much you pound at it or scream it will never do what you want. _

_ “That's your punishment.” _

Maybe...maybe I should just stop. 

I was being too optimistic. There's no way I can play the piano again. 

Why did I think anything would change?

“ _ Look at your entry number.” _

_ “Twinkle Twinkle Little Star.” _

_ “The stars are shining down on you and cheering _ . _ ”  _

_ *** _

There's no way.

There’s no way this the person I looked up to.

There’s no way this is the same person.

What happened to his unmatchable accuracy? 

What happened to his perfect playing? 

What were those two years for? 

I wanted to surpass you, but not like this. 

He's just a shell of his former self now. He...he’s barely the same person. 

What...what’s happening? What is he doing? 

He's stopping? 

He's stopping. 

The great Will Solace is stopping. 

This has to be a joke. It has to be. It has to be. 

He...he really stopped playing. 

How was he reduced to this? 

***

I guess it's over for me now. Just like last time I stopped, only that time...it was over for you. 

Why did you start again? What were you playing for? 

What am I playing for? 

“ _ Again.”  _

What were you playing for that day? 

What made you want to play again after I messed up so bad? What made you want to see me play again? 

“ _ Again _ .”

Why should I play? Why am I playing? What’s the point? 

_ “You're Will Solace and that's who you'll always be.” _

Right. I want to play because I want to be me. 

“ _ Again!” _

I push down on keys...again _.  _

The tempos off. 

_ “What's important is what you imagine while playing. How do you want to play this piece? ”  _

I want people to see me. I want to play the piano the way I want to. I want to stop being the Human Metronome and I want to be just Will Solace. That’s how I want to the play this piece. I want to play this piece like it’s my own. I want to play the piano because I want people to hear me. 

_ “Who are you playing for?” _

I want to play for myself. 

I want to play what I want. I don’t want to be restricted by Dad telling me to do everything perfectly. I don’t want to play like a machine.

I smile. 

That day...who were you playing for? 

_ “Friend A” _

_ “I know you can do this.” _

_ “I appoint you as my accompianist.” _

_ “I know we can do this.” _

_ “You're like the sun.” _

I don’t know who you were playing for. It...it doesn’t sound like you’re just trying to go against your dad either. 

_ “Who are you playing for?”  _

I play for me, but… I want to play for you too. 

I'll be disqualified for sure. It's already over for me, but…

I'm always scared when I see the night sky by myself. I feel like I'm going to get swallowed up by the darkness. 

With Cecil it always seems carefree. The stars look like they want to play and they are twinkling with happiness. 

With Lou Ellen, it's always filled with so much radiance it makes me anxious. They look stunning and it makes me question everything. 

I wonder what the night sky will look like with you. 

***

He's...he’s  playing again? He started over? 

And it's...different? 

It started off like the Will Solace everyone knows. Robotic. Like a machine. The Human Metronome. 

Every note is perfect. The tempo is perfect. No notes skipped. None played too early or too late. 

Exactly like the composer intended. Every judges dream contestant. 

The Will Solace I looked up to. 

Then it changed. It sounded terrible. Like a crying child. 

Agony. 

The tempo was all over the place. The notes were too rough. It was the opposite of the Human Metronome everyone knows. 

And then he stopped. He’ll be disqualified for sure. 

And then he started again. And for what? 

But...but now...

What is this? 

What is with these transformations? 

It's like there three different pianists playing. And it's not just his playing. It's...the sound too. Now…

It’s like his notes are sparkling. 

***

Sparkles. 

His music is sparkling. 

Will Solace’s music is sparkling again.

He's back. He's back. He’s back. 

He's pouring all of his emotion in. 

It's like I'm being transported to another world. The Will Solace that inspired me...he's playing again. 

I'm listening to him again. 

He heard me. 

And now everyone here is again listening to the real Will Solace. 

He’s back. 

***

_ “We might not be able to give a performance that we'll be happy with, but we're still going to play with everything we have!”  _

_ “That way.. the people who will listen will remember.” _

There's only one person who I want to reach. I want one person to remember this. I hope you're listening. 

Thank you for not giving up on me. 

Thank you for pushing me. 

Thank you for being there. 

Thank you for making me play the piano again.

I hope you can hear this.

Hear my Chopin!

You were right.

I hated playing again in the beginning. I wanted to put the piano behind me and never think about it again. I never wanted to be on stage again. I never wanted to play in front of a crowd. 

Music wasn’t something that I wanted to treasure. It wasn’t fun. It didn’t make me happy. I just wanted to stop. Stop and never play again. It was my punishment. 

But you helped me remember. 

Music isn't a punishment. It isn't a curse. 

I just wasn’t treating it right. It wasn’t made to torture me. It wasn’t made to make me feel like I had no other choice but to play. It wasn’t made to just be played. 

It was made so that someone could hear it. It was made so that I could play it and have somebody hear it. It wasn’t made to win competitions. Someone shouldn’t be playing just to win competitions. It was meant to be fun. It was meant have emotion behind it. It was meant to make someone feel something. 

Every single note until the end. Until it’s...

It's over. 

I stand up and look at the audience. Everything is silent. 

The applause starts a few seconds later. It’s hesitant. Confused. I guess everyone was confused. I guess that's to be expected. I was confused myself. 

No cheering. No comments. Nothing. 

But that's okay because this time I only want to reach one person. Everyone else doesn’t matter today. 

I hope he heard me. 

I look towards the left door. 

_ The entrance on the left stage. A spot where I could easily see him while playing. _

My eyes widen. 

It’s… it’s Dad? And he's...smiling. 

_ “Good job Will.” _

I feel my eyes fill up with tears, but a large smile comes to my face. 

I did it. And I was even able to hear all the notes this time. 

It's over. 

It's finally over. 

I turn to the audience with a smile before I walk off the stage. 

 

Tired. So tired. I want to go home and take a 15 hour nap and then go to sleep. 

The door in front of me open. 

The judges. 

I bow my head as I walk past them. 

“Will Solace.” The head judge says. 

I look up. 

“A music competition is sacred. It's not a place to do soul searching. I've never seen such a messed up performance in my entire life.” 

He keeps walking, and the rest of the judges follow behind him. I stay in place. 

“That guy is as picky as ever isn't he?”

I turn to the voice. No way. 

“Mr. Fletcher?” 

“I told you to just call me Lee!” 

“Sorry.” I look at him. “You look different.” 

His hair is cut shorter. He has more muscle on him. He's  taller. His wardrobe has completely changed. I probably wouldn’t be able to recognize him if I didn’t know him so well. 

“A guy changes once he starts taking care of a kid,” Lee explains. 

I look down at the little girls hiding behind him. She looks kinda like him. Same blonde hair. Same small nose. Same tan skin. 

“And besides. It's been two years,” Lee continues.  

“Hey Will, who's the dude.” 

I jump and quickly turn around. I’m met with three very familiar faces. 

“Cecil don't do that. I'm tired. You startled me,” I complain. 

“Sorry,” he apologizes not sounding apologetic at all.

“I know you,” Lou Ellen remembered. “You were always with Will's dad.” 

“Lee Fletcher,” Nico says. “One of the country's best pianist.” 

“He was my dad's friend. They met in college I think,” I respond. 

“Yep,” Lee says, “I saw him performing one day and knew that I needed to get to know someone that good. We became friends after that.” 

“Woah.” They all say. 

I feel a pair of arms wrapped around me . 

“What? Lee? What are you.. we're in public.” I stammer. I can feel my face heat up. 

Lee just hugs me tighter. “I'm sorry. I'm sorry Will.” Lee whispers. 

Sorry? Sorry for what? 

He lets go of me. “You've grown so much. I'm proud.” 

A smile comes to my face. Lee was practically like a big brother, hearing something like that from him...it feels good. 

I’m about to thank him, but then a terrible smell reaches my nose. 

“Ummm...and you smell like cigarettes. Not very proud,” I reply with instead. 

Lee shrugs. “Oh...well...I guess that's enough nostalgia for one day. Are you going to stay to see the results?”

Congratulations. You changed the topic. 

“Ummm...well...I kinda got disqualified so there isn't really any point. Besides, I didn't come today for results anyway.”

“That's good,” Lee says softly, but then his tone changes, “cause you really screwed up!” 

I frown. “Thanks,” I respond sarcastically. 

He puts his hand on my head and starts ruffling my hair. I huff but don’t make any motion towards moving away. 

“Well…” Lou Ellen chuckles, “ we should go get something to eat if we’re not staying.” 

“You guys go,” Lee calls.“ I'll send Will down in a minute.” 

Lou shrugs and they walk away without another word. 

“You should come back to see the results. Knowing your competition is important,” Lee suggests. 

I shrug. “I guess. There's no harm after all.”

Lee nods sagely. Then a teasing smile spreads across his face, and I start wishing that I left with the others. 

“So?” He asks with a teasing laugh. “Who are you in love with?” 

My mind goes blank. What did he just say?

“What?” 

Maybe I misheard him. 

“Don't try to hide it Will,” he teases. “You're piano was practically screaming ‘I love you!’ Don't tell me you didn't notice or...are you trying to deny it.” 

Love? I'm not in love with anyone. I don't even like anyone that way. 

I was playing...I was playing for Nico...that...I don't love him! I was thanking him! It's not love! What the heck Lee! 

“The piano…” Lee insists gently, “it takes all of your emotions….even the hidden ones , and let's them all out. Better to embrace what the piano says.” 

He pats my head and walks away with his daughter. 

“I'll see you later!” He calls out behind him. 

I stare at his retreating form. 

It's not like that. 

Your wrong. 

It's just gratitude. Not love. 

I start walking to the front door to meet up with the others. 

And even if I did “love” him, it wouldn't matter. 

After all, he likes someone else. 

I'm just Friend A. 

 

I results are as expected. I did stop halfway through after all.

“Look! There's my name!” A girl next to me shouts. 

“I'm not there this year either,” another boy sighs. 

“I'll have to try harder next time.”

“I did it!” 

“No.”

“And this was my last chance.” 

“Will.” I turn to the voice behind me. 

Damien. 

“What was up with that performance!” 

“Damien”, Chiara scolds coming up behind him. She sets a comforting  hand on his shoulder. He brushes it off and stares at me intensely. 

“What the hell were you doing Solace?! Changing playing styles every other minute. What the hell was up with that? You finally show up after two years, and you give that trainwreck  of a performance? What happened to the almighty Will Solace from two years ago?! What happened to my idol? My hero? A hero isn't supposed to lose. You knew that stopping would get you disqualified, but you still did it! So why?! And why the hell did you look so pleased once you were done?” 

“I'm not a hero Damien,” I respond after his rant. “I'm human. Just like you are.” 

That seemed to calm him down slightly. The look of manic rage is gone from his eyes and is instead replaced with confusion. “What?”

“I...so it really was a mess huh?” 

“You...you really can't hear the notes?”

I shake my head. He stares at me wide eyed. Chiara is making the same expression. 

“And...I wasn't slacking off. I worked myself to the point of passing out. I gave my all. This was the best I could do today.” 

Damien looks down. 

“If my performance was sloppy after all of that...then that's just who I am. Mozart said 'go on a journey.’” and that's what I'm going to do. It won't be easy and sometimes I'll want to give up, but I'll keep going. Because that’s who I am. A musician.”

Damien gives me one more look over before scowling and looking down.  

“I can't wait until the next time we compete. Be ready. See you Damien. Chiara.” I wave before walking past them to the exit. 

This is just the beginning of my journey. 

***

“He's really changed, huh Chiara?”

“It looks like he's finally found his reason to play again.” 

When he played this time, for a moment, you could see the awkward child playing a performance for the first time all over again. 

He's finally coming back.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What Will played:   
> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=33fT9K8dRkA
> 
> I hope you all enjoyed!   
> PLEASE leave comments and/or kudos if you did!   
> I love seeing comments!!!  
> If you have any feedback or suggestion don't hesitate to tell me.   
> Thank you all for reading!  
> I hope you all have a great day/night wherever you are. :)


	12. Fireflies

“Say something to him Lou,” I hear Cecil whisper really loudly behind me. 

“What?” She whispers really loud back. 

My friends are not very good at whispering apparently.

“Try to cheer Will up,” Cecil responds. “He must be sad about losing a competition for the first time in his life.” 

So this is what this is about. 

“Why don't you talk to him,” Lou Ellen argues. 

“You're his best friend.”

“We're both his best friends.”

“You've known him longer.”

“You're a boy.”

“That's sexist.” 

This is getting out of hand.

I turn around. “Both of you. I'm fine. Don't worry.”

“Oh...Ummm...okay,” Cecil stammers.

If you didn't want me to hear then learn how to actually whisper. You’re walking two feet behind me. 

“If you're sure,” Lou Ellen sighs . 

“I'm sure.”

I turn back around and continue walking. 

Surprisingly I do feel fine. This was the first competition I entered in years, but I don’t feel much different. Everything that I was scared of having happen happened too. I messed up. I stopped playing. I couldn’t hear the piano. I got disqualified. The audience and judges didn’t particularly love my performance. 

But I feel fine. 

I just feel tired. I want to sleep for 3 days straight. 

_ “Human metronome.”  _

_ “His father's puppet.”  _

_ “A competition is no place for soul searching!” _

_ “What was up with that trainwreck of a performance!”  _

_ “I…!”  _

_ “Machine.”  _

I clench my fists. If I was a machine then…

I wouldn’t be able to play like that. 

That’s why I feel good. I played like myself for the first time in years. I let myself feel emotions while playing for the first time in years. 

I start running.

“Will!” I hear someone shouts behind me. 

I don't care. I don't care. 

No. I do care. 

I care too much. 

Too many emotions all stirring inside me. 

What is this? What's happening? What am I feeling? 

Run. run. run. 

I let out a cry from the depths of my lungs. From the pits of my heart. 

I wasn't able to win either. 

I'm just like you guys. 

I'm not a machine. 

I'm not a puppet. 

I'm not a human metronome. 

I'm human! 

“I think Will's lost his mind!” I hear Cecil shout. 

Yea, maybe I have. 

***

“I'm home.”

_ Click.  _

“Nico. You're back. How did it go? How was Will?” 

“Entertaining to say the least.” 

“What do you mean by that?” 

“Details later. I've been sweet deprived all day. Where are the leftovers from the shop that I can eat.” 

“They're in the fridge like always. Oh and there's a letter on the kitchen counter for you.”

“Letter?” 

“Yea. I think it's something music related.” 

_ Tear. Flap. _

_ “Oh.” _

“Is something wrong?” 

_ She's  worried again.Why do I always have to worry her? _

_ “ _ No. I'm fine. Actually, I think I'll eat in the morning. I'm going to go to bed. Good night!”

“Nico?” 

_ Shut. Toss. Flap.  _

_ Boom. Sigh. _

“I can't keep this up.” 

***

_ Ring. Ring.  _

Is someone ringing the doorbell? Why is someone ringing the doorbell? I wish to sleep. Let me sleep.  

_ Boom. Creak.  _

What's going on now? Is someone breaking in? Ugh. Too tired to care. If it’s a murderer I guess this’ll be how I die. 

“WILL!” That voice seems familiar. 

“Will!” Really familiar. 

_ Creak. _

_ “'WILL!” _

I sit up and quickly look around the room before they lock on the person standing at my door. 

“Oh thank God, you're alive,” Lee sighs. 

“Why are you here?” I ask before yawning. 

“I called you a million times and you didn't pick up! I was worried sick! I thought you were dead!” 

“I'm sorry.” 

Can I go back to sleep now? 

I feel someone grab my arm. 

“You were wearing these clothes yesterday! Why didn't you change?” 

“Tired.” 

Let me go back to sleep. 

“And you stink of sweat. You need a shower.” 

Sleep first. 

I feel something brushing against my ear. 

“WILL WAKE UP!!!”

I jump back and fall off my bed and onto the ground. 

“I'm up. I'm up,” I groan. 

“Good! Now go bathe.” 

“Alright. Alright.” 

Freaking adults. 

 

“You still drink your coffee black?”  I ask. 

“Yep.” 

“Here you go then.” I hand him a cup. 

“You're mom away on a trip?” Like always. I nod my head. 

He sighs. “I hope you're taking care of yourself properly most of the time.” 

“I try.” 

I pour myself a bowl of cereal and sit down next to Lee at the table. I turn towards Lee's daughter. What was her name again. It started with an S…

“Do you want some milk or hot chocolate Sophie?” I ask. 

She looks away from me and tries to hide underneath the table. 

Lee laughs and picks her up to put her back into her seat. “Don't mind her. She's just shy. She'll get used to you eventually.” 

I take a bite of my cereal. Sweet, sweet breakfast food. 

“I...I never thought I'd hear you play the piano again,” Lee whispers. 

I shrug. “I never thought I'd play it again.” 

“What changed?” 

So much. So much has changed. 

“I met a really weird violinist.” 

 

I take a sip of my milk. Maybe I do drink too much milk. Maybe Nico was on to something. I should drink less milk. Too much milk is bad for you. 

I stare at the milk carton for a few seconds before drinking more. 

I’ll drink less milk starting tomorrow. 

I look over at Cecil and Lou Ellen. 

Lou Ellen's reading a book while Cecil's on his phone. 

So peaceful and calm. A huge contrast from the past few weeks. 

I wipe away a bead of sweat from my forehead. But maybe sitting outside today wasn't the best idea. 

“It's almost summer,” I announce. 

Lou Ellen nods her head without looking up from her book. Cecil looks up and opens his mouth to say something, but he gets interrupted by the door opening. 

“There will be no room for breaks!” Nico yells. 

Well, there goes the peace and quiet. 

Nico hands me an envelope. 

“An invitation from the hall where you guys saw my first performance and the one Will and I did together.” Nico explains. 

“Is this...is this for their Gala concert?” I ask. 

“Exactly!” 

“What's a Gala concert?” Lou Ellen asks finally looking up from her book. 

“They are designed  to commemorate important events... or something. They're holding this one in honor of the past winners to celebrate their achievements.” 

“So, kinda like an exhibition match in sports.” Cecil points out. 

“Right.” Nico responds. He turns towards me. “The organizers invited us to perform. You and me.” 

“Looks like our dynamic duo is back in action!” Cecil cheers. 

“So?” Nico asks. “What are you going to do?” 

What am I going to do? What do you think? After step one, you take step two. 

 

“Is our piece for the concert set,” I ask. Nico and I open the doors to the music room and step inside. 

“No,” Nico responds. “But...I kinda wanted to do this.” 

He hands me some sheet music with a sheepish expression.  

“Kreisler's Liebesleid.” I read.“Love's Sorrow.” I look up towards him. “You want to play this at a Gala? Shouldn't we being playing something happier?” 

“It'll be okay. We're just the throw-ins anyway. And,” his voice quiets down to a whisper, “I really want to play this song.” 

“Nico?” 

Is it just me or...are his eyes less sparkly today. He looks...tired? Maybe he’s just tired. That’s probably it. Hopefully. 

“And besides,” Nico continues, “there's almost no chance that anyone else is playing this song, so we'll be safe in that regard. And since no one will be expecting it, it'll be memorable.” 

I look back down at the music and frown. “Are you sure? Maybe we should play something cooler.” 

Nico walks past me to his violin and pick it up “I'm sorry,” he whispers. “I'm sorry for dropping you so much. I know I don't deserve to be a violinist, but bear with me for just a little bit longer.”

He turns back towards me. “I'm sure I want to play this,” he says. 

I smile at him. “Well, if you're sure. I trust your judgement.” 

Though I...I really don’t want to play this. 

 

“ _ What made you want to play the piano again.”  _

_ “I met a really crazy violinist. He's violent and stubborn, but when he's on stage...he can be mistaken as an angel. So I thought...if he can then..I want to be a really crazy pianist.”  _

_ “So you’re playing again, huh?”  _

_ “I guess so.”  _

_ “Then I want to help.”  _

_ “What?”  _

_ “I want to help you with the piano. Give you a little extra help.”  _

_ “Thank you.”  _

 

_ “ _ Were you taking that practise seriously?” Nico asks. 

“It was our first practise. What did you expect?” 

“I think my ears actually started to bleed.” 

I roll my eyes. “Now you're just exaggerating.” 

“No I...hey look.” I look towards the field he's pointing at. 

“What?” I ask?

“Fireflies.” 

I look closer. The entire field is full of them. Some of them spread their wings and taken off. Beams of light fly across towards us. 

Nico runs towards the center of the field and I follow behind him. 

“It's beautiful isn't it?” Nico whispers. 

I nod. We’re surrounded by tiny little flying lights. They’re like stars. 

“They're small, weak insects that I could probably crush with my bare hands,” Nico continues. 

I look towards him confused. What the heck Nico? 

“But...they're still glowing with all their might. Their still living with all their might.” A gentle smile spread across his face.  A small firefly comes and land on his hand for a second before flying away. 

Nico looks towards me. “So Will? I never asked. How was your first solo competition in years?” 

I smile. “Well, I guess I learned what really fuels competition. Playing the piece perfectly might make you win, but it's what drives you that's important, and for each person it's different. For some it's revenge, others its trying to be better than someone else, for some it's wanting to reach the audience, and for others it's wanting to impress your parents. I guess you really can't play music without any emotions. You have you have something in your heart to be able to play.” 

Nico nods and looks back out towards the field. “And what drove you to play, Will?” 

I want to continue on my journey. I want to feel that again. Hearing the applause from the audience and know that my song  reached them. I want to be able to be more loose in my music and play without having to feel like it’s chaining me down and drowning me. 

And I would never be playing again or be feeling like this if someone didn’t push me to try again. 

“I had you.” 

Nico looks towards me for a few seconds confused before a sad expression spread across his face and he looks away. Wait sad? 

“Dont...don't have me be your driving force Will,” he...sobs?  

He's crying. Why is he crying? What did I say wrong. 

“I'm not always going to be around you know.” 

What? 

“I don't want you to go through that again,” he whispers so quietly that I barely catch it. 

“Nico…?”

“ _ Just bear with me for a little while longer.” _

Why only a little while? Is he planning to buy a new violin or…

Nico wipes away his tears. 

“Let's..let's just forget that ever happened.” 

His eyes. They aren't sparkling. They aren't sparkling. 

Forget. Forget. I can't forget something like that!

“Nico…” I get cut off. 

“I need to head home. I'll see you later Will.” 

He runs off before I can say another word. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I suppose this chapter is the start of the second half.   
> This chapter was sort of setting up for what to expect in future chapter.   
> We start focusing on Nico's problems a lot more. 
> 
> I hope you all enjoyed this chapter.   
> PLEASE comment and/or kudos if you did.   
> I LOVE reading comments.   
> If you have any criticism or suggestions don't hesitate to comment them.   
> Thank you all for reading.   
> I hope you all have a great day/night wherever you are!!!


	13. Happy Memories

I sit up from the ground with a groan. 

“Is there a reason you pushed me off the seat or is that another one of your strange quirks?” I pout. 

Nico frowns and sends a glare my way. “You're not putting your heart into this at all, and the concert is in 1 week.” 

I stand up and sit back on the piano seat.

Love’s Sorrow. 

“Do we have to play this piece?” I ask. 

“What's wrong with it?” He questions as he sits down next to me. 

A lot of things. If it was up to me, I would never play this song again. 

“Shouldn’t the song for the Gala concert have some more flair?” I say instead. 

Nico frowns and stares down at the violin in his hand. “I think this should be fine. And I  _ really _ want to play this piece.” 

“ _ Just bear with me for a little while longer.” _

What’s up with him? One day he acts like he’s going to die and then the next day he keeps pushing me to practice. It’s like he’s actually pretending that we never had that conversation. No, not just probably. He is most definitely pretending that we never had that conversation. 

“And don’t worry about flair Will,” Nico continues.  “Even if the piece isn’t normally flashy, with the two of us playing it, the audience will be completely entrapped. We just need to practise.” 

I sigh. He does have a point. Maybe I can think of another excuse. But we only have one week. Is that enough time to pick another song and practise it? Probably not. 

“Is there any other reason you don’t want to play that song?” He asks. “We don’t have to play it.” 

I look towards the sheet music. “Love’s Sorrow. The companion song to Love’s Joy.” 

_ “Love’s Sorrow? You’re playing it again?” _

_ “Of course. It’s your Dad’s favorite song.”  _

Why don’t I want to play it? Because it reminds me of my Dad too much. 

 

“Will?” I turn away from the fridge and towards the entrance to the kitchen. 

“Huh? Lee? How did you get into the house this time?” 

His daughter waddles in through the door behind him and towards the box of donuts Lou Ellen brought his yesterday. I pick it up and open it for her. She picks one out and runs back to her dad. 

“I've got my ways,” Lee explains with a smile. 

That’s not reassuring. Maybe I should Cecil to create traps around my house. If Lee can get in that easily, than other people probably can too. One day I’m going to come home and half the stuff will be gone. 

“Come on,” Lee announces. “We’re going to go to the park.” 

He says grabbing a napkin from the table an wiping the donut’s cream off  his daughter’s face. 

“Park? When was that decided?” I ask. 

“Half an hour ago.” 

Of course it was. Lee is still as spontaneous as he used to be apparently. 

“I can’t,” I reply shaking my head.  “I need to practise.” 

“Practise?” He asks standing up. “Practise what?” 

I set the donut box back on the table and grab one for myself. 

“For a Gala Concert. Nico and I are playing,” I explain. 

“Oh,” Lee answers with a smile. “What are you two playing?” 

I stare down at the donut in my hand for a second before taking a bite. 

“Love’s Sorrow,” I mumble. 

Maybe the food in my mouth will make it hard for Lee to understand. 

“Love’s Sorrow?” He asks with a raised eyebrow. 

I frown at my donut. “Yea,” 

Lee walks up to me and sits down at one of the stools. He pats the one next to him. I sigh and go to sit next to him. 

“Why are you playing it?” He asks.

“Nico wants to play it,” I reply bluntly. 

Lee stares at me for a few seconds before waving his hand for me to continue as if he knows there’s something else I want to say. 

I take another bite from my donut and sigh. “Nico wants to play it, but...whenever I play it I keep thinking of Dad.” 

Lee nods. “I would imagine. I don’t think I can play that song without hearing your dad rant on about how great it is.” 

I smile. “He did love it a whole lot. He played it every morning when I was younger.” 

It was a nice way to wake up. A lot of times I heard it from my room and ended up running to the piano room to see Dad play it. Other times I fell asleep in the piano room and woke up to see Dad playing it. It was fun. He always had a smile on his face when he played the tune, and he was always filled with life when he talked about why he liked it so much. 

But then Dad started teaching me piano. And then the amounts of time he played it became less and less until it stopped and my wake up alarm became angry yelling.  

“Do you think...do you think he hated me?” I whisper. 

Lee stares at me in confusion for a few seconds before his eyes widen in understanding, He gives me a sad smile. 

“I  don’t think so. I think...I think he got so wrapped up in his own mind that he stopped thinking about what you wanted. I think...I think the day you threw that music book...I think that’s when he remembered that you were your own musician.” 

I stay silent. That’s not any better. 

“Am I even allowed to play the piano again. After…” I sigh. 

Lee sets a comforting hand on my shoulder. “That’s for you to decide. Take what’s holding you back and play and decide if that’s what you want. But don’t let what happened stop you. And when you play...think of all the happy memories with your Dad. Think of your dad when he used to play Love’s Sorrow. And then decide if you think he’d want you to keep playing.” 

“Happy?” I whisper. 

Happy? Maybe...he’s right. All I ever think about are the bad memories. Maybe it’s time to think of the happy ones as well. Maybe I shouldn’t just think of all of the times where I didn’t want to play piano, but I should think of all the times in the beginning when playing the piano was fun. 

 

“Look at how late it is?” Nico complains.

“It’s your own fault for wanting to practise that long.” I reply. 

“We wouldn’t have to practise that long if you didn’t spend half of our practises complaining about what we’re playing.” He gives me a worried look. “Are you sure you’re fine with Love’s Sorrow.” 

I nod my head. “Yep.” 

Playing this song again...it’s probably for the best.

“I hope your aunt isn’t going to mad at you for being late.” 

Nico shrugs. “I texted her. It’ll be fine.” 

Nico stops walking and points up. “The stars are really clear today. You can make out constellations.” 

I look up. The stars are really bright. They’d probably be brighter if there was no light pollution, but it’s definitely better than normal. 

Nico starts walking ahead with a smile. 

“ _ Twinkle Twinkle Little star. _

_ How I wonder what you are.  _

_ Up above the world so high. _

_ Like a diamond is the sky.  _

_ Twinkle Twinkle Little Star.  _

_ How I wonder what you are.”  _

“Here we are.” Nico finally says in front of one of the buildings. . 

“A bakery?” I ask. 

The door in front of them was designed to look like wood while the building itself was made of red and brown bricks. There were two large windows on the sides of the doors that displayed different baked goods. Above the door there was a large wooden sign that had red, curvy letters to spell out  _ The Heart.  _

“Yep,” Nico confirms.  “My aunt own a bakery.” 

“I guess that’s where you get your sweet tooth from.” 

He smiles and shrugs. The door to the bakery opens, and a women who can’t be older than 30 steps out of the shop. Her silky black hair is tied back and out of her warm amber eyes. She has a small smile on her face that revealed  a dimple of each of her tan cheeks. 

“Nico, you’re home.” She exclaims. She gives him a once over before turning towards her me. Her already huge smile becomes even bigger after a few moments. 

“It’s Will Solace!” She shouts. 

She grabs my arm and pulls me into the shop before I have time to ask what’s going on. 

“Do you want something to eat? You can have all the leftovers from today. I think I may have a sampling platter. Let me go get it,” She babbles before sitting me down on one of the chairs and running off to the back of he store. 

Nico comes in and sits next to me. I stare at him in confusion. 

“She’s a big fan of yours, “ he explains. “Let her have her moment.” 

I look back towards the doors that probably lead to the kitchen and nod my head. I don’t feel hungry right now, but I would never turn down free sweets. 

Nico’s aunt comes in a little while later and dumps a platter of sweets in front of us. Cupcakes, tarts, cannolis, pie...so much! I stare at the pile in awe and wonder what I’m supposed to do with it. Hestia points to the pile, and I grab one of the fruit tarts. I take a bit, and I’m immediately filled with bliss. The outside is warm and soft but also sorta crunchy while the inside is sweet and smooth. 

“This is amazing,” I tell her. 

She smiles and sits down next to me. Nico grabs one of the small boxes with cupcakes in them and starts working on opening it up. 

“I heard that you started playing the piano again,” Hestia remarks. “I’m so happy. And you look like such a nice person I’m sure you’ll do great.” 

“Ummm...Thank you.” I laugh nervously.

How am I supposed to respond to this? 

I can see Nico trying not to laugh. 

“Hey since you’re here you want to see pictures of Nico from elementary school.” Hestia asks. 

Nico’s smile immediately disappears, and he starts shaking his head. 

“He was an adorable child! I’ll go get a photo album.” She announces either not seeing him or ignoring him. She runs off before either of us can say anything. Nico puts the cupcake box down and gets up. 

“Don’t you dare!” Nico yells running after her. 

 

“I told you to play that part smoother!” Nico yells at me. 

“I can’t just ignore the sheet music!” I shout back. 

Nico groans and tiredly sits down next to me. His legs are probably tired after standing for so long. Maybe they should have brought in another chair. 

The door to the piano room opens, and Cecil and Chelsea stumble in.    
“How’s it going you guys?” Chelsea asks. 

Nico and I both groan. 

“Not good?” She guesses. 

I sigh. ‘We’ll be fine,” I assure, but I’m not sure how much I believe it. 

“We better,” Nico adds. “The concert is in two days.” 

They’d probably be fine by the concert. They had both memorized the piece and they could play most of it together. They just need to work out a few things in a few places. No worries. 

Cecil opens a cup of ice cream, and I stare at it. 

“Did you get that from the school cafeteria?” I ask. 

Maybe I could get myself some too. That would be nice. 

Cecil puts a giant scoop of it in his mouth. His expression turns into one of thinking as if he doesn’t remember the events that led his to eating ice cream. Then suddenly his eyes widen and he swallows with a look of fear of his face. 

“No...I got this from Lou Ellen.” He whispers. 

I frown in confusion. “Why is that bad?” 

Was he worried that she poisoned it or cursed it or something? 

Lou Ellen soon walks into the room, and she heads straight for Cecil. She holds out her hand and gives him an excited look. 

“Can I have my ice cream back now?” She requests. 

He shakily hands over the cup. Lou Ellen looks down the half finished ice cream emotionlessly before she bursts, and kicks Cecil in the shin. . 

“IT’S TOO HOT!” She screams. “AND THEN THIS IDIOT EATS MY ICE CREAM! I HATE SUMMER SCHOOL!” 

“You wouldn’t have to go if you didn’t volunteer,” Cecil groans from the floor. 

“Shut up,” Lou Ellen whispers murderously. 

‘If you value your life, I would shut up now Cecil.” I advice. 

Cecil groans again, but doesn’t say another word. 

“I want to have fun,” Lou Ellen decided. “I still have fireworks from Independence day. We should light some up.” 

 

“Are you sure this is safe?” I ask. 

“Of course. We’re near water.” Lou Ellen replies. 

We’re all standing on the pier with each having a firework stick in hand, each one glowing a different color. It’s night now, so the glowing sparks look beautiful reflected on the lake. 

“But we’re standing on wood. What if catches on fire?” I continue. 

Cecil struggs. “Then we hope for the best and run.” 

I frown at the answer, but I don’t argue. I’ve been spending time with Lou Ellen and Cecil enough to know that they won’t change their minds no matter what I say. 

“We’re going to high school after summer,” Lou Ellen reminds us.

“Has anyone  thought about what they want to do in the future?” Cecil asks. 

“Something chemistry related maybe,” Lou Ellen answers.   

“I was always thinking about being a doctor. I’m not sure though.” I admit.  

“All those medical books and you’re still unsure.” Cecil points out with a laugh. 

I have always wanted to be a doctor. It just seemed nice being able to help people go through hard times. Spending so much time reading medical books just made me want to do it more. But now? I’m not so sure. Six months ago I would have told anyone that I wouldn’t play the piano again. Who knows what else will change in the future? 

“Maybe I can be a demolition guy,” Cecil ponders. “Then I can blow stuff up without going to jail.” 

“Of course,” Lou Ellen mumbles with annoyance,  but she smiles in amusement at the answer. 

“How ‘bout you Nico?” Cecil asks, “Are you planning to play that violin forever.” 

“ _ Just bear with me for a little while longer.” _

No. 

I look over at Nico. He has a faraway look in his eyes. 

“I don’t know. I’ve never really thought about it.” He whispers. 

“You like space,” I add. “Maybe you could be an astronomer or something.” 

He shrugs, but there’s now a small smile on his face, so I take it as a success. 

“Well,” Chelsea starts, “We still have a couple years to think about it.” 

Nico  moves away from the group and further up the pier. Our firework sticks die out and we throw them into a bucket of water before following behind him. 

He has another firework stick in hand and a large smile on his face. 

“High School is four years. We have a lot of time. Right now I’m just going to worry about the Gala concert the day after tomorrow.” 

“Woot!” Chelsea yells. 

“You think you’re ready Will”? Lou Ellen asks. 

 

_ “Just play what you feel. In all honesty, I think...I think not being able to hear yourself is a gift,” Lee pointed out.   _

_ “A gift?” _

_ “Yep. Close your eyes. Shut your ears and just play what you feel. That’s what creates the best music,” he explains. “Don’t get caught up in what changed. Take what you have and use it in the best way possible. Don’t think of it as a punishment. Your dad telling you to never play again. Take it as the way your dad is telling you to keep playing, but only this time, play the way you want. Let out all your emotions without holding them back. Don’t get caught up in sounding perfect. Instead, do what feels right.”  _

 

I smile at her. 

“Yea I think I am.” 


	14. Goodbye

Perfect. No one I know is here. Just need to get to those doors. Be sneaky. Sneaky.

“Chiara?” 

Ahhh! 

“Who’s Chiara?” 

“Chiara I know it’s you. I’m the one you told you that he would be playing today.”  _ Sigh _ . 

Busted. 

“I know Mrs. Selene.” 

“Now take that stupid disguise off. No one cares that you’re here to watch him.” 

“I’m not here to watch him. I’m here to just watch some beautiful violin mus…” 

“Here’s your program. He’s going to be going on near the end.” 

And she leaves.  _ Sigh.  _

Well, there is one really great thing about Gala concerts. 

There’s no competition. No judging. No need to be tense. The whole thing will just be relaxation. 

***

“WHERE IS HE?” I shout, “IT’S ALMOST OUR TURN AND HE’S STILL NOT HERE!!”

Where could he be? Stupid Nico. What is he thinking? This is just insane!

“The show’s started,” Lou Ellen calls running towards us. “Is he still not here?” 

“No!” I shout. 

When I see that idiot…

“He’s not picking up his phone either. I hope he’s okay,” Chelsea fretted. 

“Is he always like this?” Lee asks. 

“I guess, but he should still pick up his phone.” Cecil answers with a shrug. 

I shake my head. “Seriously.” 

Nico is a bit reckless and he jumps into thing without thinking, but he’s never been  _ this _ late to something. He’s always there at least a bit before he’s supposed to go on. But this? This is just cutting it close!

“Go in and prepare,” Lee tells me. 

“What?” 

“Be ready for whenever he decided to come. Come on. I’ll help.” He turns towards Chelsea. “Please keep calling him and tell us if he answers.”

Chelsea nods her head. Lee grabs my arm and pulls me inside the building. 

“What are we doing?” I ask. 

“I guess we can first ask if they can make it so that you guys go on last. It’s just a Gala concert, so they’ll probably be more flexible. That way we can wait for Nico until the last second. The only challenge would be to get the other performers to agree.” 

That’s true. How much do performers want to give up there places though? 

And there’s Nico who still hasn’t shown up, and there is no sign that he will. Why? 

_ “I want to play this song.”  _

Why aren’t you here? You were looking forward to this. 

 

“Please let them move spots,” Lee begs. 

“I...I’m not in charge of that. You'd have to ask the other performers if they're willing to move,” the man explains.  

“But….” 

“What’s going on?” I hear a voice behind me ask. 

I turn around, and I’m met with a boy about Nico’s height with blonde hair and sharp gray eyes. He has a calculating look on his face, and I have a weird feeling that it would be a bad idea to try plotting against him. 

“Oh Malcolm. These people’s violinist is just late,” the man explains to him.  

Malcolm gives us a confused look as if the concept itself just baffles him. I agree towards his sentiment. Where the heck is Nico?!

“Late?” Malcolm repeats. 

“Wait, you’re Malcolm?” Lee asks excitedly. “You’re going to be the last person to go on because you won the entire competition right?” 

Malcolm slowly nods his head as if he isn’t sure where this is going, but there is a prideful look in his eyes. He must be proud of his win.  

Lee quickly walks up to him and slaps his hands together into a praying position. 

“Please let them go after you. Our violinist is late, but he should be here. His name’s Nico Di Angelo.” 

“Nico…?” He asks confused. 

“Yes!” 

The boy, Malcolm, smiles at us. Is he going to let us? Bless his heart. He is a life saver. I wish him all the best. 

“Absolutely not.” He replies he replies with a huge smile. It takes me a few seconds to process what he just said because of it. 

“What?” I ask just to clarify that I heard him right. 

“I won the competition, so the final act belongs to me,” he explains.  

That’s understandable. Most people wouldn't want to give away their prize, their fame, to strangers. He won that spot of the concert fair and square, and he has the right to keep it. 

But why was he smiling when he said it? 

“Sorry for bothering you then. Good Luck.” Lee sighs. He turns to me, “I guess we’ll have to withdraw then.” 

“It’s his own fault for being late and not taking this seriously,” Malcolm continues, “His playing style is so messed up and chaotic it’s no surprise that his life is as well. He deserves to learn a lesson from this. Maybe then he’ll stop being such a mess.” 

“ _ Just bear with me for a little while longer.” _

“Isn’t that going a bit to far?” Lee argues. 

“Is it? I’m just telling it as it is.” 

“What is wrong with…”

“You have to follow the sheet music. What he does is the exact opposite. What he plays, it can’t even be considered music.” 

_ “Everything is in the sheet music.” _

“Why I oughta…” I grab Lee’s arm. 

“We’re sorry for disturbing you,” I apologize. 

“Will? Aren’t you mad at all? He just straight up insulted Nico,” Lee questions with a huff. 

Oh I’m mad. But yelling at him won’t do anything.   __

But maybe something else will. 

“Let’s follow the schedule,” I decide. “There’s no need to change anything. The final act is your’s Malcolm.” 

He smiles confidently and nods. 

“And he doesn’t deserve it,” Lee mumbles. 

I stare Malcolm in the eye. “However,” I continue , “Today’s spotlight doesn’t belong to you. It will belong to me.” 

 

“Organizer’s choice, Nico Di Angelo.” 

Well, this is it. 

I walk onto the stage. 

“Hey wait...isn’t that just the accompanist?”

“The one who messed up last time.” 

“Why is he here?” 

“Where’s Nico?” 

“He can’t possibly be playing alone.”  

“No way.” 

Sorry everyone, but I will be. 

***

“You’re going out alone?” 

“Yes.” 

“But...what are you going to play without a violin?” 

“I’m not changing the piece.” 

“What?”

“You see...I’m really pissed right now. So I’m going to show him that he’s wrong. That the sheet music isn't always the answer. Show him how great of a musician Nico is. Just like I learned.” 

“Will…”

“And besides. Like Nico said. The point of these Galas is to stand out. Nothing will stand out more than me playing by myself at a violin concert.” 

 

_ “Lester?”  _

_ “Again?”  _

_ “Please.”  _

_ Sigh.  _

_ Bang.  _

_ “Stupid wife. Not ever  around. Pay more attention to me or I’m going to leave.”  _

_ “Are you having another fight with your wife?”  _

_ “No, Will. This is war.”  _

_ “Dun dun dun du du.”  _

_ “Will...has you dad been teaching you how to play?”  _

_ “No…” _

_ “Then how do you know?”  _

_ “Why wouldn’t I?”  _

_ “Lester! We have to teach Will how to play the piano! He’s a genius!”  _

Yea. He’s a genius. 

***

I’m going to prove it today. 

Everyone look at me and listen! Today I’m going to show everyone that I’m incredible! 

Look at me! 

Watch. Watch. Watch. 

I begin to play. 

Not the accompaniment this time. The piano arrangement. 

Watch me Malcolm. See how I’m now even more incredible than before. And Nico...he’s even more incredible than me. 

Huh? Wait...was I’m pounding on the keys that hard. This song isn’t supposed to be about anger. 

This isn’t how the song is supposed to be played. This song...The version of this song that I always listened to was...like a lullaby. 

A gentle tune that always woke me up, but also made me want to go right back to sleep.

It’s strange. I can’t hear the notes like usual but...this time I can feel the notes. I can feel them ringing inside of me. 

_ “It’s a gift. It’s not a punishment it’s a gift.”  _

I’m not at the bottom of a dark sea anymore. There’s still water, but this time...I can see the light. 

“ _ Listen, Will. Don't play the piano to harshly. It you press gently on the piano, you'll make it happy. If you hit the piano with force, the piano will be angry. Be gentle with the piano and it'll play like you want. “ _

Dad? If he was playing, he would play it like this. 

I slow down and begin to press the notes gently. 

That’s the song I want them to hear. I want them to hear the song that I grew up with. I want them to hear...the happy memories I have with my Dad. 

I want them to hear this lullaby. Love’s Sorrow. 

***

“ _ Help me. Someone help me. I can’t hear the notes” Sniff.“My ears...they aren't working.  I can’t hear the piano. Someone..help me. Someone. Someone. Dad. Help me.”  _

Will. 

I’m the one who drove you to that corner. I’m the one who convinced you dad to teach you to play the piano. I’m sorry. 

I thought that music would only bring you pain and suffering, so I decided to leave your life forever. Afterall, it was all my fault. 

But then I hear that you’re playing again and...I was so proud. I was so happy. You were finally playing the way you wanted. 

And right now...I couldn’t be prouder. 

“ _ Why did you decide to play the piano again.”  _

_ “I met a really weird violinist.” _

_ “So I thought, why don’t I become a really weird pianist.”  _

You met someone and now...I see you finally believe in the power of music. 

If you can believe in it, then I have no excuse. 

Lester...I hope you’re listening...Will...he’s finally saying goodbye. 

 

“ _ I’m a terrible father. I thought that if I thought him to be faithful to the score he would be set for life.  I don’t know what I was thinking. Is he going to be able to take care of himself when I’m gone. Will he brush his teeth? Shower properly? Eat properly? He falls asleep everywhere. That isn’t safe. He’ll get hurt or sick.”  _

_ “I’m a terrible father. I wasn’t able to leave him anything behind other than pain.I...I just want him to be happy.”  _

 

Do you hear that? You didn’t just leave behind pain. You left behind happiness too. He’ll never forget the bad memories, but now, he’s looking at the good ones too. He’s moving on. 

***

Dad’s gone. The shadows I always see, they’re just from my imagination. They’re just excuses for me not to play. 

Not anymore. 

The only part of dad I have left now is what I have inside of me. All the memories that I have, both bad and good are all I have left, and they can’t stop me. 

 

_ “Dad, if there’s a Love’s Joy and a Love’s Sorrow, why do you always play Love’s Sorrow?”  _

_ “I play it...so you can get used to sorrow as well. But the song is gentle isn’t it? That’s cause even though there’s pain, there’s some happiness too. The notes we play connect all of us together. The people who are listening, the people you know, the people you love, the people you hate, the people you’ve never met, we’re all connected through music.”  _

 

Just like I’m connected with everyone else, I’m connected with Dad through music too. And I’ll now be able to move forward because now...I believe it. 

Thank you Dad. 

You might not have been the best father ever, and you might have made a lot of mistakes, but there was good in you too. I’ll never forget the bad, but I’ll never bury away and try to forget the good either. I’ll remember you. I’ll remember the you back when you played Love’s Sorrow. 

I look to the left door. The spot where Dad always sat. A place I could easily see when I was playing. 

He’s not there, and he never will be again. 

Goodbye. 

 

I walk backstage and promptly fall over. 

“Tired. Shaking. How did I do that?” I take a deep breath. 

It’s over Will. You did it. I did it. 

“Will?” I see Lee and his daughter run over to me. Lee helps me stand back up. He gives me a warm smile. “Were you able to see him?” He asks. 

“Everything about him...the way he played...it was reflected in my playing wasn’t it? The way I press the keys. The way I move my fingers. The way I move my foot on the pedal. And other things too. The way I eat. The order I eat in. How I always eat my salad before the meat. How I always have to put my pants on first and then my shirt. All the little things in my life. I got them from dad since...we’re connected. Dad’s been trying to help me, not hurt me.” 

Lee nods. I clench my fists. 

“But then why did he hurt me too?” 

What happened to him? What made him change? He used to always be gentle and nice. What made him burst? 

Lee sighs and wraps his arms around me in a hug. “I...he told me that he was worried. He said that he was worried that he was going to leave you without any way of taking care of yourself, and that he was running out of time.” Lee shakes his head. “He...he did bad things and he hurt you, and you can’t forget that. But he loved you too. He just went about it wrong. Very wrong. It wasn’t your fault.” 

Wasn’t my fault. He was worried. He did the wrong thing, but…

He cared. He still cared. He didn’t just suddenly stop loving me. He was still in there somewhere. I didn’t ruin him. 

“You think it reached him?” I mumble. “You think...my song reached him?” 

Lee squeezes me tighter. “I think it did. You two are connected after all.” 

A sob I’m trying to hold in bursts out along with a flow of tears. I rest my head onto Lee’s chest as the tears just keep falling and falling and the sobs keep dropping out. 

Because of music...I was able to meet people, I was able to discover emotions, I was able to reach the people I’m connected to. Because of Dad...because of the memories he left me, because he taught me to play the piano, I was able to connect with more people. 

Thank you Dad. You hurt me a lot, but you helped me a lot too. And because of you, I can now say that I...

I’m happy. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Love's Sorrow


	15. Right?

“Hey Malcolm is playing.” I announce. 

Lee turns up from his phone and looks at the screen. “Weird. I think he’s playing softer than usual.” 

“Is he?” 

“I guess you were able to reach his heart too,” Lee smiles. 

I smile back. At least I was able to reach one person. 

***

“That was awesome!” 

“The violin is an amazing instrument isn’t it Chiara?”

“Mrs. Selene, I’m happy I’m a musician.” 

I’m happy I’m able to reach so many people through my music. 

***

“Hey it’s Will,” I hear Lou Ellen call. 

I turn to the sound of her voice and find Lou Ellen and the rest running over to me. 

“You’re leaving now?” Cecil asks. “Is that allowed? The concert isn't entirely over.”

I shrug. “It’s fine. It was just a throw in for a throw in after all. And besides,” I take a deep breath, “now I have to find that traitor who abandoned me and destroy him!” 

“He’s mad,” Lou Ellen and Cecil whisper together. 

Lee stretches his arms. “Well, I’m exhausted. I think I’m going to head home.”

“I want juice,” his daughter tells him.  

“I guess we can find some juice before leaving then. I’m sure there’s a vending machine somewhere.” 

He walks off with his daughter in hand with Lou Ellen and Cecil trailing after him. 

I turn towards Chelsea. “Did he pick up his phone?” 

She shakes his head. “I don’t know why. This isn’t like him. I mean...it’s been almost an hour since he was supposed to be here at the latest.” 

“I’m sure he’s fine.” 

“ _ Just bear with me for a little while longer.” _

Or at least I hope he is. 

 

 

Love’s Joy. Love’s Sorrow. 

I guess I have to agree with Dad that Love’s Sorrow does sound better. But I would rather be happy if I was in love than in pain. Everyone loves happy endings. 

_ Knock. Knock. Bang. Bang.  _

I unplug my earbuds and run down the stairs to the front door. 

“Oh hey Lou Ellen. Whats up?” I greet as I open the door for her. 

But then I notice the panicked look in her eyes, and my smile immediately falls. 

“Nico…” She starts. “Nico’s in the hospital.” 

What? What?! WHAT?!

I push past her and run to my bike. I hear she shouting my name behind me and her yelling at me to stop, but the only thing I can think of is...

Hospital. Hospital. Hospital. 

I park my bike in one of the bike racks without locking it and run inside. 

And that's when I stop and finally take a deep breath. And notice how stupid I'm being. 

Where am I going? I don’t even know where he is. Or why he’s here. What was I thinking running off like that?

“Ummm...sir?” I look towards the lady sitting at the front desk. “Do you need some help?” 

“Oh...I..umm…” She's going to think I'm stupid no matter how I say it. Just tell her quickly, so you can go see Nico. “I heard that a friend of mine was at the hospital, but I just realized that I don’t know where he is in the hospital.” 

The lady gives me a small comforting smile. “What’s your friend's name. Maybe I can find him for you.” 

She can? Is that allowed? Who cares? Probably her boss, but that's not my problem. 

“Nico Di Angelo.”

She searches him up on the computer. 

“He’s in room 407. You can take the elevator up. Here’s a visitor pass,” she tells me as she hands me a small slip with places to fill out information. “Fill in your name and let me see it before you go up. I also some other information to log you in. ” 

I take the slip from her and fill it out while answering the other questions that she gives me. At the end, she takes the pass from me, stamps it, and hands it back. 

“I guess we can think about making a permanent pass later,” she mumbles quietly under her breath. 

Permanent? She’s just saying that out of convenience, right? There’s nothing wrong with Nico that would make him stay here for long. He probably just passed out of exhaustion. Or maybe it was his anemia. Nico said he had anemia. 

He’ll be fine. 

“The elevator is right over there,” she says as she points to the back. 

I take the pass from her and walk over to the elevator where there's an old man waiting for it too. When the doors open up, we walk in together, and I press the four button. 

“You’re going to fourth floor too?” The man observes. 

I turn towards him. “Seems like. My friend got checked in here.” 

He nods with a sad smile on his face. “I hope your friend ends up being alright.” 

“So do I,” I whisper. I shake my head. “What are you here for?” I ask changing the subject. 

“My wife got a heart attack and here to visit her,” he tells me. 

“I hope she gets better.”

“I do too., but...but I don’t think she will. I just hope I can make the moments before her death easier and happy.” 

That's not a good way to think. You should always have hope. But what hope can I give to an old man whose wife just had a heart attack. 

The elevator door opens. “Well, good bye boy. Good luck to your friend.” 

“Good luck to your wife.” 

I walk in the other direction from him towards room 407. It’s a little further in, but I find it. I reach up to the door knob and freeze. 

Open the door Will. Nico’s fine. There’s no reason to be scared. Go in there and act like everything will be fine. Complain to him for not coming. 

Everything is fine. 

I take a deep breathe before turning the doorknob and walking inside. 

“Huh?” 

Nico...no Dad….no! Nico turns towards me. 

“Will?” Nico asks confused. 

I focus on him, and the image of Dad disappears.

It’s Nico. It’s Nico. Dad’s gone. He’s gone. 

This isn’t the same thing. Calm down!

I take a deep breath before walking towards him while slowly keeping my eyes on his the whole way. 

He has a bandage over his head and his arms are connected to a multitude of machines half of which I don't know the function of.  

“You’re probably mad at me aren’t you,” Nico starts breaking the silence between us. “I should have had someone call you to tell you that I couldn’t come. I’m sorry. I probably caused you a lot of stress. I’m sorry.” 

His eyes aren’t sparkling. He looks subdued. Defeated. 

He's not supposed to look like that. 

“What happened Nico?” I ask standing beside him. 

He looks up at me. “I fell.” He answers simply. 

“Fell? That can’t be it. You wouldn’t be checked into a hospital if you just….” 

“ _ Just bear with me for a little while longer.” _

My eyes widen. “You didn’t try to kill yourself, did you?” I whisper. 

He wouldn't. He wouldn’t. He wouldn’t. 

“No. I wouldn’t try to kill myself the day before I had to perform with someone,” he replies almost offended. Emotion. That's good. “Like I just said. It would cause stress and that would be mean.” 

I breathe out a sigh of relief. At least it wasn't that. 

“Then wh…” 

“There you are Will!” Cecil shouts.

I turn towards him and Chelsea and Lou Ellen who are with him. 

“I tell you Nico’s in the hospital and you just run off,” Lou Ellen scolds. “My mom could have driven you here too you know.” 

I hear Nico snicker in the background. If Lou Ellen completely embarrassing me is what makes him happy, then have Lou Ellen tell all the embarrassing stories. It would be worth it. It would be entirely worth it. 

“I brought some cake,” Chelsea announces.    
“Yay! Sweets.” Nico cheers. 

Chelsea walks over and hands it to him. He opens the packet and takes a bite. “Thanks Chelsea.” 

She smiles at him. 

“So how are you feeling Nico?” Cecil asks. 

“Great! I just need to take a couple more tests and then I can leave. My aunt’s talking to a doctor right now.” 

“That’s good. You worried us,” Lou Ellen tells him. She bumps my shoulder. “Especially this idiot over here.” 

His mood changed. His eyes are still dull, but he doesn’t look as sad anymore. And he's acting more chipper. He's acting like he normally does. 

Why? 

“Weren’t you admitted to the hospital a month ago. And didn’t you take tests then.” I ask. 

He’s hiding something. 

“Different tests,” Nico answers without missing a beat like he already planned his answer to that question. Or maybe I'm just overthinking it.

“And these are also for my head,” he continues. “I ended up getting a small concussion.” 

They don’t keep people in the hospital for several days just for a concussion. 

“I ended up stumbling when I went to get a glass of water and then I fell and hit my head, and blood started gushing out,” he explains while moving his arms around. “My aunt freaked out seeing me bleeding on the ground while she’s half asleep, so now I’m in the hospital.” Nico takes another bite of cake as soon as he finishes. 

“Well, it’s a good thing you’re okay now.” Chelsea says. 

“I brought you books.” Cecil announces.

He takes the bag he’s holding and dumps it out on Nico’s bed. About 20 different books spill out. 

“What’s he going to do with that many books?” Lou Ellen asks. 

“What’s he going to do sitting here alone in the hospital?” Cecil argues. 

“He doesn’t need that many. He’s going to be released before Summer Vacation ends,” Lou Ellen argues with a roll of her eyes. But then she pauses and look towards Nico. “Right?” She tries to confirm. 

Nico nods, but he doesn’t say anything. He just shove another bite of cake into his mouth. 

Why does something seem wrong? 

***

“Well Nico we’ll see you later!” 

“Bye!” 

“See you!” 

“Get better!” 

“Bye guys!” 

_ Sigh. Flap.  _

“There’s no way I can read this many books.”  _ Flip. _

“Huh? Will. His name’s on this one. ‘My Sweet Accomplice’. Accomplice in what?”

_ Creak _ .

“Nico. Are all you friend’s gone?” 

“Huh? Oh. Yeah. They went home.” 

“Ready for your tests then?”

“Yeah. And can you put the IV back in?” 

***

“Hey Will? Are you just going to stand there? You’re allowed to sit down.There are chairs.” 

I turn towards Nico and then look back out the window. I can’t see him like this. 

“I could, but I feel like standing.” 

A few beeping lights fly past. An airplane maybe. 

“Is something wrong? You’re acting suspicious,” Nico observes. 

Me? I’m pretty sure you’re the one hiding something. 

“I just don’t like hospitals.” I explain. 

I really hope you’re not lying though. You’re going to be okay, right? I’m worrying for no reason, right?

I’m going to see you at school when the new school year starts, right? 

You’re still going to annoy me and make me do stupid things, right?

I’m...I’m still going to be able to hear you play the violin, right? 

You…

“Hey! I know what’ll cheer you up. Chelsea brought me some cake earlier. You can have some,” Nico offers. 

Chelsea? Right. You like her. I’m just the boy who can play the piano. And that’s fine. It’s fine. 

Why doesn’t it feel fine?   
“And why didn’t you tell me that you played at the Gala concert by yourself?” He continues. “Chelsea said that you were pretty awesome! I wish I could have seen it!” 

“Uhh..yeah.” 

I wish you could have seen it too. I wish you were there. 

“Why did you play? I would have expected you to withdraw. It’s kinda weird that someone, an accompanist, played the piano at a violin concert.” 

I hum. “At first...it was because I was mad since someone insulted you.” That gets a laugh out of him. I smile  and turn towards him. There’s more sparkle in his eyes this time. He looks like he usually does...minus the bandage on his head and the hospital gown. 

” But half way through the sound disappeared and then I started thinking of my dad,” I continue. “But not in a bad way like I normally do, but in a good way instead. I wanted to play for him. I wanted the audience to hear the good things I remember about my dad and I guess these feelings ended up turning into notes.” 

Nico smiles. “That’s good. I guess...I guess I chose the right piece then.” 

Yeah. That piece it makes me think of…

Soft lullabies

Moist cakes

Angry scoldings 

Freshly washed clothes 

Homemade dinner 

Clean tiled floors

The smell of antiseptics

The beeping of the heart monitor

Every aspect of my Dad. 

And now they’re making me think of you too. 

You are going to be okay, right? 

“I wish I could’ve played with you again,” Nico sighs. 

“We can play together as soon as you get out of here.” 

And anywhere else you want. I want to play with you too. 

Nico shrugs and turns away. What’s that supposed to mean? 

“Nico?” 

“I...I feel tired Will,” he whispers just loud enough for me to make out. 

“Then go to sleep. I can leave.” 

Nico shakes his head. “I don’t think sleeping will help.” 

What...what is that supposed to mean? 

You’re going to be fine, right? 

You’re not lying, right? 

You’re going to come back to school, right? 

You’re going to insult me and push me to do stupid things right? 

I’m...I’m going to be able to hear you play the violin again, right? 

You...You’re not going to leave me like my Dad did, will you? 


	16. Canelés

“Will!”

I freeze and turn around towards...Mr. Muzyk? He’s one of the music teachers at this school. I don’t take any of his classes, and the only reason we know each other is because I asked if I could use the piano during lunch.

I move to the side of the hallway. The other students in the hall turn away from the scene and go on to wherever they were going. He runs and stops in front of me.

“Hi,” I hesitate out.

He smiles and hands me a folder of papers. I take it and stare at the light blue file to calm my racing nerves. Why would a teacher I don’t even have stop me at the end of the day and hand me a folder of papers?

“So...I see that you’re playing piano.”

Obviously.

“Yes sir.”

He nods his head with a smile. “I saw you at the Gala Concert. My daughter plays the violin, and she wanted to go see it. I didn’t expect to see such a talented pianist. Will Solace especially.”

I feel heat rise in my cheeks. He knew me from before? “Oh...uh...I’m not as good as I used to be.”

“I actually think you sounded better. More real I guess you could say.” I look up towards him, and he gives me a reassuring smile. “You’re talented Will. Whether you’re playing perfectly as the Human Metronome or playing like you did at the Gala Concert, you are a great musician.”

“Umm..thank you.”

I grip the folder tighter in my hands. This is...something. Not what I expected when I got stopped to talk. But that still doesn’t answer…

“What’s in the folder?” I ask.

He looks down at the folder in my hands and taps it. “There are a lot of music school you can go to high school in around here Will. It’s normally harder to get accepted to one during sophomore year, but they do accept those they see talent in, and you definitely have talent.”

I looked back down at the folder. “You...you think I should go?”

The thought hadn’t even crossed my mind before. The plan was to go to high school and then go to college and get on track to become a doctor. That was it. The piano...the piano was either not there or it was pushed to the side.

But now? Now the issue was staring me straight in the face. There were a few music schools in the area that I could attend for high school. They weren’t that far. The only problem would be applying and getting accepted. But was that really the path I wanted to take? Did I...did I want to put that much into the piano?

“I put all the information about different music school in the area that I deemed important in the folder. You don’t have to decide now. The due date for the applications aren’t for a while, but I thought it would be best to give you time to think about it.”

I nodded my head. I did need time to think about this.

  


“Just go inside the hospital, Will.”

I start pacing around the entrance.

“It’s just like any other visit. Why am I worried?” I take a deep breath. Suddenly a black cat runs in front of me.

Is this a premonition? Then a black crow flies past me.

“Since when do crows live here?!”

Maybe I shouldn’t go today. The universe was clearly telling me that it would be a bad idea.

_“You’re always making excuses.”_

I walk away from the entrance of the hospital.

I know I’m trying to find excuses, but...it just feels weird to see you today.

You said that you’ll come back once school starts.

School started two weeks ago. Where were you?

A pressure lands on my head and before I know it I'm blasted with something cold and wet.

“Ahhh! Cold!” I look down at what hit me. Its looks like...a water balloon. Where? Wait...where am I? Where was I even walking to?

I must have just started walking in some random direction.

I decide to keep walking. Hopefully it was just some kid pranking me. Or at least that's what I think  until I trip over a bucket.

“I’ve been cursed with bad luck today.”

“Suffer. Suffer.” I hear someone say. And then I hear a tree branch break and someone falls on top of me.

  


“Seriously, Will. It’s like you attract trouble.” Lee sighs.

“I’m sorry.”

“Why would you bring this random girl to my house.”

“Your house was closer and I didn’t want to just leave an unconscious little girl alone on the streets.”

The girl flutters her eyes open and quickly sits up.

“You’re awake,” I announce.

She looks around. “Where am I?” She asks confused.

“Awww...she’s  so cute,” Lee decides. He points at me. “That boy right there found you unconscious and decided to bring you here instead of leaving you on the streets.”

“Wait a minute.” The girl stands up “You’re Lee Fletcher aren’t you?”

Lee looks around confused as if there was suddenly someone else who shared _his_ name in _his_ house.

“I am,” he eventually replies.

The girl sits back down. “I’m sorry I should have introduced myself sooner. I’m Holly Victor. And I’m enrolled as a seventh grader at the Selesstemur Academy.”

“Oh. That’s a pretty prestigious music academy.”

“I study piano there. I’m a pianist.”

That doesn’t answer why you fell out of a tree and passed out. And I bet she's the one who threw the water balloon at me too.

“I’m a big fan of yours Mr. Fletcher. Please take me as your student!”

“What?” Now Lee looks even more confused.

“Please!” She begs.

“Uhhh...well...you kinda took me by surprise there.” Lee smiles at her, “How about you convince me to teach you by showing me how you play.”

He points to the piano sitting in the room.

Holly nods. “Okay.”

Is no one going to question why she was in a tree? Or why she was chanting suffer suffer? No?

Holly heads to the piano and sits down.

“The way you present yourself is perfect. So what will you be playing? Bach? Mozart? Chopin?”

“Chopin Etude Op. 25 No. 5”

The piece I played for the piano competition? That feels like forever ago. Is this a coincidence or…?

She begins to play. One note at a time.

She’s good. Really good. But...she seems angry. She’s pounding at the keys like she's trying to release all her frustration.

What did this piece do to her?

She finishes and takes a deep breath before turning around towards us.

“That was good,” Sophie chants.

We all begin to clap.

“Are seventh graders normally capable of playing a song of this level at Selesstemur Academy?” Lee asks.

“You can sure play at a high level,” I comment.  

A really high level. How long did she practice this piece to sound that good?

“Ummm...so does that mean I did good?” Holly asks timidly.

Lee leans back on the wall with his eyebrows furrowed.

“Alright, I’ll do it,” he decides with a smile. “I’ll take you as my student.”  

Holly stares at him for a moment before burying her face in her hands.

Thank you!” she sobs.

“Please don’t cry!” Lee panicky shouts.

“I can’t believe my idol is going to give me piano lessons!”

“Good job Holly,” I say congratulating her.  

“Hey Will,” Lee says.

I turn towards him.“Yes?”

Am I hearing evil laughter? That can't be right. Why would Holly be evilly laughing.

But she did possibly throw a water balloon at me…what if she is evil?! Maybe she's trying to kill me. Maybe I should avoid her for sometime.

“Give Holly piano lessons,” Lee tells me.

I stare at him. Is this a joke?

“I’m not joking.”

What? What? What?!

 

***

 

_Buzz. Buzz._

“Who is it?”

“Cecil. He wants to know if I want to go to the arcade with him after school.”

“Hmm…”

“What is it Chelsea?”

“Nothing Lou. I just sometimes forget that you two are dating. You are still dating right?”

 _Scoff_ “Yeah. Did you think we broke up?”

“It’s just...you guys don’t really act like a couple.”

“What do you mean?”

“I mean...do you like him?”

“Of course I do.”

“But...do you like him like that?”

“I don’t get what you’re trying to ask.”

“Is the way you like him different from say Will or even me.”

“We’re dating. Of course it is.”

“If you’re sure. I’ve never been in a relationship. I don’t know how they work.”

“But you don’t think Cecil and I like each other like that.”

“I don’t know. I just don’t really see the same spark when you talk about him as I do in other people. But as I said I’ve never been in a relationship. Don’t worry about what I said.”

“Heh...yeah. Won’t worry.”

 

***

 

Alright let’s try this again. I look around. No black cat. No crows. Nothing. I look at the pastry bag in my hand. And I picked up a gift for him too. It would be bad if it went to waste. Move Will. Move.

I walk into the hospital building and get another visitor pass from the person sitting at the front.

Alright. First step complete. I follow the same process as the other few times and proceed to his room.

Alright. This is his door. Go inside. There’s nothing wrong with visiting him. You’re his friend. His accompanist. Go inside.

I raise my fist to knock.

“And then she’s totally soaked!” I hear Chelsea’s voice shout from inside, “And Ethan’s laughing so hard that he’s got snot dripping down his nose.” I hear Nico laugh.

I run away from the door, and back outside. I look at the bag in my hand. What were you thinking of buying him Canelés? His aunt owns a sweet shop. And he’s Italian, not French. He probably wouldn’t like them either.

I take one out of the bag and take a bite. It’s a good thing I didn’t give them to him. It would just be embarrassing. I’m such an idiot.

 

***

 

_“Ummm… Lou Ellen what are we doing?”_

_“For my first magic trick, I’m going to lock you inside a box and then cut you open with a saw.”_

_“What?!”_

_“Wait! Why are you running away! Will! Come back!”_

 

_“Come on Will! I want to do the monkey bars again.”_

_“I need to go Lou. Dad wants me home to practice piano.”_

_“Ugh. Fine.”_

 

_“Hey! Will! Do you want to play catch?”_

_“Will is busy practising right now. Maybe later.”_

_“Yes sir.”_

 

_“My magic mud ball is complete! Perfectly round. So shiny. It’s beautiful. I should make Will one too! Maybe when he sees what he’s missing he’ll come play with me again. And some good luck would be good for him.”_

 

_“Do you know where Will is?”_

_“He has some competition tomorrow, so he stayed home to practise.”_

_“Lucky! I wish I could miss school.”_

 

_“Alright class! Today we’re going to be singing songs from the packet I handed out last week. We’ll start with the first one.”_

_No. No. No._

_“Lou Ellen? Why aren’t you singing with the class?”_

_I hate music. I hate it._

 

_“WHO FILLED MY PENCIL POUCH WITH GLITTER?!”_

_Laughter. It’s coming from...there!_

_“You! I am going to destroy you!”_

_“Uh oh.”_

_“Come back here!”_

 

_“Did you prank Maddie again?”_

_“She stole my homework. She deserved it.”_

_“Fair enough Cecil.”_

 

_“Hey Cecil. Do you wanna go to the fair?”_

_“I thought you and Will were going.”_

_“He has to practise piano, and I don’t want to go alone.”_

_“Oh. Sure. Sounds fun.”_

 

_“Will. Cecil. Cecil. Will. Now we’re all friends.”_

_“Nice to meet you.”_

_“Nice to meet you too Piano Master.”_

 

_“Will practises the piano a lot doesn’t he?”_

_“Yeah.”_

_“But who cares? We have each other. Who needs him?”_

_“I guess Lou, but...he’s still our friend.”_

 

“Hello?”

“Chelsea. I know you told me not to, but I thought about it.”

Friend. Boyfriend. Friend. Boyfriend.

“Thought about?”

“My relationship.”

“Oh. What did you think about specifically?”

“What’s the difference between liking someone as a friend and liking someone romantically?”

“Hmm...I could tell you all of the stuff you always hear in romantic movies and novels. You like being around the person. Your heart beats faster. You try your best to make them like you. You want to learn more about them. Your eyes sparkle when you talk about them. Yadda yadda yadda.”

“That...that’s not very helpful Chels.”

“I don’t know what to say Lou. This is something you have to figure out yourself. I guess...I guess think about it the same way I put it before. You’re close to both Will and Cecil, right? Do you feel differently about them.”

“I...I should.”

“But do you?”

 

***

 

I feel my phone vibrating in my pocket. I pull it out. Unknown number. Should I even answer it? Well, it's not like I'm doing anything important.

“Hello.”

“You’re so heartless.”

Nico?

“Chelsea, Cecil, and Lou Ellen have been visiting me, why haven't you?”

“I...How do you have my number?”

I don't remember ever giving it to him.

“I was thinking that I haven’t heard your voice in a while, so I asked Lou Ellen. Now...wait...you’re chewing. What are you eating?” His voice cheers up.

I look down to the sweet in my hand. “A Canelé.”

“Lucky! I wish I had one.”

He does?

“I’ll bring you some when I visit”

“Really? Awesome. Now you better or I’m never going to let you live it down.”

“Yea.”

“I want to have some of my aunt’s Canelés, but I feel kinda weird asking her for them. Could you get me those?”

I hum in affirmation. “Awesome! Promise?”

I hum again.

I really should have just gone into his room.

I look up at the night sky. I...I really missed hearing his voice.

***

“Canelés. Canelés. Canelés. Canelés. Oof.” _Boom._

“Ow. What’s with me falling all the time?

“Huh? That’s weird.

“Huh?

“Up? Stand up. Up. Up. Up! Up!” _Slam._

“You’re my legs! Do what I want! I want to stand up. Up!

“Up! Up! Up. Up. Up…

“Damn it. Not again. Work. Work. Work. Work.”

“Are you alright? What’s wrong?”

I’m not alright. I’m not alright. Everything’s already wrong and now my legs aren’t working either. It hurts. It hurts. It hurts. Make it stop. I want it to stop. It hurts.

“I can’t get up...” Stupid legs. Stupid me.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all for reading! I hope you enjoyed!  
> Leave comments and/or kudos if you did!  
> Thank you to all of you who left comments on the previous chapter! It's nice to know that there are people enjoying the work.  
> I hope you all have a great day/night wherever you are! :)


	17. What's Wrong?

“I’m done.” Holly announces. 

It’s her first lesson and all three of us are gathered in Lee’s piano room. Lee had asked her to play a random song he picked out. 

“Alright teacher,” Lee says looking at me, “Do your job.” 

“Give me your honest opinion, alright,” Holly demands. 

“Don’t hold back,” Lee whispers. 

Holding back? What’s that? 

“Make the difference between fortissimo and pianissimo clearer. And count the rests properly.” I her a gasp, but I continue. “You keep making weird faces when you play, your posture is terrible, and you grit your teeth like you’re in pain.” 

“Stop.” Holly mumbles. 

I smile at her. “But more importantly, your left hand always comes in later.” 

“My hands are too small to reach those notes.” 

I walk over to the piano. “Don’t use your fingers. Move your wrist instead.” I place my fingers on the keys to demonstrate.  “Put your your pinky on the first beat and then use the momentum to move your wrist.” 

She reaches her hand out, maybe to copy my movements, but she gets interrupted when Lee talks 

“How about changing the way you pedal?” 

“That won’t help me win,” Holly argues. “I have to follow the sheet music. The notes written on the paper is sacred and must be followed at all costs.” She ends with a starry eyes expression. 

Was she always like this? 

She continues, “Only egotistical people who have given up wouldn’t follow the sheet music.”

“ _ Play with all you have and give your best and you’ll be able to give a performance that the audience won’t forget.”  _

He’s not egotistical. 

“The sheet music isn’t sacred. Following it won’t magically make you sound better. The emotion you put in is what brings the score to life.” 

She scoffs. “How chiche. Spouting nonsense like that, that’s what brought you down. That’s why you’re nothing but a failure now. That’s why you won’t win.” 

 

***

“Cecil?”

“Huh? Oh. Hey Chelsea!” 

“Can I ask you something?” 

“This sounds serious.” 

_ Nod.  _

“Alright. What’s up?” 

“Lou Ellen.” 

“What about Lou? Is she alright?!” 

“Yes. She’s fine.” 

“Oh. Then what’s wrong? Did you two fight?” 

“No. Did you two fight?” 

“Umm...no. Why?” 

“Because...I’ll be blunt. Why are you two dating?” 

“‘Cause we like each other. Obviously.” 

“No. I mean really. Why are you two dating?”

_ Sigh.  _ “I just told you.” 

“I’m not stupid Cecil.” 

“Never said that you were. You’re actually really smart.” 

“Lou Ellen hates change doesn’t she?” 

“Yeah.” 

“You can’t keep this up forever.” 

“I was hoping she’d figure it out herself in like a month.” 

“But she didn’t. She didn’t even start thinking about it until I mentioned it.” 

“Well, what do you want me to do? I can’t just break things off. She’ll hate me and get all depressed.” 

“No. She has to figure it out herself. You’re right.” 

“And I’ll wait until she does.” 

“Then we just need to push her.” 

“Oh no.” 

 

***

 

Friend. Boyfriend. Friend. Boyfriend. 

Ugh. What is the difference? 

_ “You’re close to both Will and Cecil, right? Do you feel differently about them.” _

There should be a difference. Some difference. Some difference. Some difference!

But what?

“Lou Ellen!” 

Huh? Will? What’s he doing here? And why is he running?

“What’s wrong Will?” 

“What’s hurt? Did you fall? Did you run into a pole? Did you burn yourself? I brought my first aid kit!” 

What? First aid kit?

“What are you talking about?” 

“Cecil called me and said that you left school hurt, and he couldn’t find you.”

Why would Cecil say that?

“I’m not hurt Will. I…” Oh. Cecil. “He pranked you.”

A laugh erupts from my mouth, and I wrap my arms around my stomach. Of all things he could have pranked Will with, he picks this? 

Will groans. “Do you know how much I was panicking? He sounded like you were going to die! Some best friend he is.” 

I let out a few more laughs before calming down. “That’s how Cecil is.” 

“Yeah. I should have expected that. It’s been a long time since he’s tried to prank me.” 

He crosses his arms and huffs. The first aid kit in his hand lightly hitting his hip and making a soft sound. 

_ “You’re close to both Will and Cecil, right? Do you feel differently about them.” _

Do I? I...I guess seeing Will run panicked just because he thought I was hurt made me feel happy. But I would feel the same with everyone wouldn’t I? 

What’s the difference? 

“Hey Will. I want a popsicle.” 

  
  


“You always get milk pops don’t you?” 

Will shrugs. “I guess. I didn’t even notice how much I like milk until Nico mentioned it.” 

It’s strange. Will...he looks different. He’s standing straighter. And his smile...it feels more real. And his eyes? They’re sparkling. They aren’t dull and sad anymore. They’re shining. 

“Nico said that he would be out of the hospital before school started,” I mention. 

He frowns and glares at his pop. He’s sad now, but his eyes are still shining. He’s happier. Different. 

“He did didn’t he? Idiot,” Will replies. 

The smile is back on his face. Nico. Nico. Nico. 

“He’s really awesome though, right?” 

“Yeah,” he answers wistfully. “He is.” 

What’s with that expression? He’s never made that expression before. What is it supposed to mean? 

“He’s a really strange guy,” Will continues. “He’s a complete idiot sometimes. Like he does crazy reckless things. Even when he plays the violin it’s just completely out there. But...he still looks magical when he does. It’s weird. He’s weird.” 

His eyes are sparkling. They’re sparkling more. 

“Keep talking about him,” I press. 

He looks towards me confused, but he just shrugs and takes a bite of his milk pop before continuing. 

“Well, he always looks really happy when he talks about stars and space and stuff. His eyes sparkle when he does. It’s like his eyes become the night sky themselves. And he loves sweets. I don’t know if it’s because his aunt owns a sweet shop or he got lucky. But even though he’s normally full of all this energy, he still has times where he just looks all peaceful. And those times are nice. It’s weird. It’s like...it’s like he’s more real then.” 

I zone out of what he’s saying, and focus in on him. 

Fond smiles. Sparkling eyes. The way he’s talking about him. 

Does Will like Nico? Wait no. That should be obvious. He’s never talked about anyone else this way before. But he cares about Cecil and me too. So what the difference? The way his eyes are sparkling when he talks? The fond smiles? The way he can just keep talking? Could Will do that about anyone else? 

Could I talk about anyone that way? Do I look like that when I talk about Cecil? 

_ “You’re close to both Will and Cecil, right? Do you feel differently about them.” _

Do I? Would I talk about either of them like Will’s talking about Nico? 

No. No, I wouldn’t. My eyes wouldn’t shine, and I wouldn’t smile like that. 

But I care about both of them. And Will cares about Nico and me too. 

“Hey Will,” I interrupt. 

He stops talking. “Yeah?” 

“Talk about Cecil.” 

“What?” 

“Like you were talking about Nico, talk about Cecil.” 

“Hmm.” Will looks towards me confused, but he just shrugs and goes along with it. “Well, I guess he’s my best friend. Always pulls crazy pranks and gets people angry at him for a good laugh. He’s also plays baseball. He’s an awesome pitcher. It’s crazy. But, even though he acts kinda dumb sometimes, he’s pretty smart. He gives good advice at least. He’s a people person I guess.” 

Yeah. Yeah he is. That’s how I would say it. I examine Will’s face as he speaks. He’s still smiling, but it’s...it’s different. He looks more proud or something else I can’t place. It’s different, but...the same. 

Will doesn’t feel the same about Cecil and Nico. It’s obvious just by looking at him when he talks about them. Whether Will knows it or not, he doesn’t think of both of them as just his friends. 

But what about me? 

Would I speak of Will and Cecil differently? No. I wouldn’t. 

Maybe that’s why all of my matchmaking attempts failed. I can’t even tell if I actually like someone or just see them as a friend. 

“Lou Ellen?” 

I snap towards him. “Yeah?” 

“You zoned out there.” 

“Sorry.” I nervously laugh it off. 

“Anyways, I wanted to ask you something.” 

“Yeah?”

“Mr.Muzyk suggested that I go to a music school for high school.” 

What? 

“So I was looking through them, and I...I think I should go. Even if I don’t end up making it my future, I think it would be best to go. I wouldn’t be able to change my mind about going in a year, but I can change my mind about leaving,” 

What? 

“You’re leaving?” 

“The schools aren’t too far away. I...I might have been thinking about getting a place closer to wherever I go. I asked Mom and we have the money.”

 

_ “Come on Will! I want to do the monkey bars again.”  _

_ “I need to go Lou. Dad wants me home to practice piano.”  _

_ “Ugh. Fine.”  _

 

_ “Hey! Will! Do you want to play catch?”  _

_ “Will is busy practising right now. Maybe later.”  _

_ “Yes sir.”  _

 

“ I would first have to get accepted to the school, but…” 

“No.” 

“Huh?” 

“You can’t leave.” 

“It’s not that far. We’ll still be able to see each other a lot.” 

“No.” 

My cheeks feel wet. Why do my cheeks feel wet? 

I’m crying? 

“Lou?” 

No. No. No. 

I turn and run. He calls out to me, but I keep running running running. 

 

_ “My magic mud ball is complete! Perfectly round. So shiny. It’s beautiful. I should make Will one too! Maybe when he sees what he’s missing he’ll come play with me again. And some good luck would be good for him.”  _

 

You lived next door and you still found a way to never see me. You were always practicing. Always. Always. Always. 

 

_ “Alright class! Today we’re going to be singing songs from the packet I handed out last week. We’ll start with the first one.”  _

_ No. No. No. _

_ “Lou Ellen? Why aren’t you singing with the class?”  _

_ I hate music. I hate it.  _

 

That stupid piano was always taking you away from me. Far far away. We were best friends and next door neighbors, and you were still never there. And now it’s taking you away from me again. You’re going to disappear again. You’re not going to get hit in the head with balls and go along with my stupid plans anymore. 

 

_ “WHO FILLED MY PENCIL POUCH WITH GLITTER?!”  _

_ Laughter. It’s coming from...there!  _

_ “You! I am going to destroy you!”  _

_ “Uh oh.”  _

_ “Come back here!”  _

 

I stop running. Maybe that’s it. 

 

_ “Hey Cecil. Do you wanna go to the fair?”  _

_ “I thought you and Will were going.”  _

_ “He has to practise piano, and I don’t want to go alone.”  _

_ “Oh. Sure. Sounds fun.”  _

 

Maybe I...maybe I was just lonely. 

 

_ “Will practises the piano a lot doesn’t he?”  _

_ “Yeah.”  _

_ “But who cares? We have each other. Who needs him?”  _

_ “I guess Lou, but...he’s still our friend.”  _

 

Yeah. He’s still our friend. We’re friends. I just don’t want to lose someone again. I don’t want thing to change again. I don’t want to be left by myself again. I want to help Cecil with his stupid pranks and I want to hear Will playing the piano when I pass by his house. I want to complain about summer heat and play in the snow with both of them. 

 

_ “The magic mud! It’s ruined!”  _

_ “I think they just dried up Lou.”  _

_ “No! I worked so hard on them!” _

_ “Don’t cry! We can make more.”  _

_ “I hate you! Go away! I don’t care if you’re here or not!”  _

_ Pat. Pat.  _

_ “What are you doing?”  _

_ “Lee said that running your fingers through someone’s hair is comforting.”  _

_ “Maybe.”  _

_ “I’m not leaving Lou. We’re best friends. We’re stuck with each other.”  _

 

Don’t care if you’re here or not? What a joke. That’s exactly what I care about. I don’t want my oldest friends to leave. I don’t want to feel alone again. 

Maybe that’s why I told Cecil I liked him. It was more stable. 

I’m so stupid. 

 

***

 

I look at the time on my phone. There’s still some time until Holly’s lesson today. 

_ “Spouting nonsense like that, that’s what brought you down.“ _

What does she know? 

Maybe I should go find Lou Ellen. I haven’t even seen her since yesterday. Maybe I need to show her how far away the schools are. Maybe then she won’t feel as upset. Do I have enough time to look for her and talk before…

My gaze lands on a boy. A very very familiar boy.

“Nico?”

“Hey...ummm...what’s your name?” Nico aks mockingly. 

“Don’t pretend you have amnesia!” 

“Oh! I remember. Will Solace. Sorry, it’s just been so long since I’ve seen you that I almost forgot that you exist.” 

“Hey!” 

Nico walks past me. “Anyways, have you seen Chelsea. I was waiting here for her. Want to surprise her that I’m out of the hospital.” 

Chelsea. Yea, that’s right. He’s here for Chelsea. 

“I think Chelsea had to stay after today,” I lie. 

What am I doing? I haven’t seen Chelsea all day. 

“Oh. Well then, I’ll spend the afternoon with you instead then. You still owe me for not visiting. And I’m so forgiving that you could call me an angel that I promise not to stay mad at you forever.” 

You are an angel. And not cause you’re forgiving me. 

“I hope you brought a lot of money with you today.” 

  
  


“It’s the middle of September. Why are you Christmas shopping now?” I ask. 

“Why not. What if I don’t get time after this to come shopping?” 

He picks up a book. And flips it over to look at the back. 

“Why wouldn’t you?” He glances up at me for a second before returning his gaze to the book. 

“Who knows?” He responds. 

He puts the book down and keeps walking. I follow behind him. 

“Do you hear crying?” He asks a few minutes later..

I focus. A sound of wailing fills my ears. “Yea.”

Nico follows the noise. We eventually find a little girl hiding in a clothes rack. 

“What are you doing here?” I ask. 

“I can’t find Mommy.” She sobs.

Nico hold out his hand and she takes it. “Let’s go find your mom okay.” 

We walk to a security guard and he makes an announcement. A young woman soon comes running. The little girl runs towards her. 

“Thank you,” the women says before leaving. 

“It’s a good thing we found her. It’s always good to help someone when they need it.” Nico whispers. 

I look at him. He has a sad expression on his face. He looks at me startled. He points to the basket I’m holding. 

“I think that’s enough for today. You have lessons to teach after this, right? I shouldn’t be taking your time.” 

He’s quieter than normal. He looked happy before we found the girl. What happened? 

“Nico? Are you okay? 

He looks towards me. His expression changes for a split second before becoming emotionless. 

“Yeah. I’m fine. Just tired, Don’t worry Will.” 

If you make an expression like that, I’m definitely going to worry.

“I’m kinda thirsty,” Nico announces once we stand in line. 

I look at the small drink refrigerator they have in every line. “Do you want one of these?” I ask pointing to them. 

“I guess one soda won’t hurt. Pick whichever you want.”

I pick up a bottle of Dr. Pepper and put it next to our other stuff on the conveyor belt. I pay for the stuff and pick up the bags.

I reach into the one with the soda and hand it to him. “Here,” I say. 

“Thanks,” He reaches over and then it drops to the floor. 

Huh? I though he grabbed it. Nico’s just staring down at the drink. 

“I’m sorry. I’m such a klutz,” he whispers. 

Why is he sad? Why is he sad over a drink falling? The drink didn’t even open. I reach down and pick it up. 

“Here.” 

Nico stares at it. “I..I don’t want it anymore.” 

What’s wrong with him today? You’re better now aren’t you? You got out of the hospital. 

“You need to get to your lesson,” Nico reminds me.

Lesson? Oh right, that’s today. I look at Nico. 

They’ll understand, right? 

“I’m not going to go today.” I decide. 

“What?” 

What am I doing?

 

***

 

“HE’S LATE!” 

“He’s not coming today. He sent me a text.” 

“What?” 

“Yeah, so stop taking it out on the piano. I payed a lot of money for that.” 

“Why didn't you tell me sooner?” 

“He just told me.” 

“Are you really okay with such irresponsible behavior Mr. Fletcher?” 

“Why are you always commenting on every minor thing he does wrong?” 

“What do you mean?”

“I don’t know what you’re trying to do, but IF YOU EVER put Will in danger, consider me your enemy.”

“Huh? I didn’t know that there was someone who cared about him.” 

“He’s like my little brother. Or maybe a son. No. No. I’m not that old.” 

“Then...why did you take me as your student. If you think I hate him.” 

“I didn’t do it for me. I did it because I thought it would be good for Will to teach someone.”

“Are you sure you can trust me?”

“Why not? You’re just a fellow musician following the same path aren’t you?”

“Look! Look! Look at what I drew!” 

“That’s beautiful Sophie. Go show Holly too!” 

“Look. Look.” 

A picture. Of me, her, Mr. Fletcher, and…

And we all look so happy.

 

***

 

“Why are we breaking into the school at night?” Nico asks.

“It’s not night, it’s six, and I left my backpack here.” I explain. 

Why am I such as idiot?

“Well, where is it?” He asks. 

“I honestly don’t remember.” 

Nico gives me an unimpressed look and sighs. 

“There are like two places where I can imagine it being, so don’t worry.” 

We walk around the school until we get to my last block class for today. English. I walk inside and lo and behold it’s my backpack. I run over and hug it. I see Nico staring at the classroom with a sad expression. 

“I said that I’d be out of the hospital before school started for the year, but I wasn’t.” He sighs. 

“It’s fine. You’re back now.” I comfort.

He shakes his head. “They...I was only allowed to leave the hospital for the day. I need to go back after this.” 

Go back? Only allowed out for that day? Why? And why did he spend his afternoon with me? 

“Hey Will, are you going to forget me?”

That came out of nowhere. I look towards him. He's staring sadly out of the window into the courtyard. 

“Why would I forget you?” 

“If you don’t see me for a while. Will you forget me?”

_“_ _I want...I want someone in the audience to hear it. I want my music to reach people. I want to live in their memories.”_

“I’ll remember you. I don’t think I could ever forget. I won’t forget.” 

Nico gives me a sad smile. “That’s good. I’m happy I got spend my afternoon with you.” He leans against the wall. 

“Are you okay?!” I ask rushing over to him.

“I might have lied. I might have not been allowed to leave the hospital.” 

“What?” 

“I may have...possibly snuck out.” 

Seriously?!

“You’re an idiot. Why would you do that?” 

_ “I was waiting for Chelsea. I wanted to surprise her.”  _

“You wanted to spend your day with Chelsea.” 

Now I feel guilty. I shouldn’t have lied and said she was busy. I should have just said that I didn't know and keep walking. 

“No. I lied then too,” he mutters. 

He collapses into my arms. 

“Nico?!” 

He groans. “I...I think I should go back to the hospital.

“You think?” 

What’s wrong with him? What’s wrong with him? 

  
  


“You don’t have to carry me on your back.” Nico complains.  

“Well, you don’t seem very capable of carrying yourself.” I retort. 

“I’m sorry I made you miss your teaching lesson.” 

“Don’t be. I had fun. It was...it was nice seeing you again.” 

I hear him humm. “I wish this day wouldn’t end.” he whispers. He buries his head into my shoulder. “I went shopping, found a crying little girl, ate sweets, explored the school at night, and now I’m riding on the back of some boy who’s taking me to the hospital.” He lifts his head up. “And the stars. They're so beautiful. I love the stars you know.” 

Yeah I know. It's kinda hard to miss. 

“Maybe...you can grow up and do something with stars in the future.” He squeezes my shoulders. 

“Maybe,” he whispers. 

Why Nico? Why does talking about the future upset you so much?

“You want to be a doctor, right?” He asks in a more normal voice. 

“I thought I did. But now I'm not so sure. I...I still want to but...I don't want to leave the piano either.” 

He leans back into me and I can feel him smiling. “Knowing you, you can probably do both and be great at it.” he says.

“You have a lot of fate in me.”

He nods. 

This is nice. I can feel his heart beating.  _ Pump. Pump. Pump.  _

It's sound faster than a normal person’s heart should be. 

I can feel his breathing to. 

That feels faster than it should be too. 

He lifts his head up. “Shoot” I hear him mutter. He moves his right hand off my shoulder. 

“What's wrong?” I ask panicked.

Was he having a heart attack?!

“My nose is bleeding and I got blood all over your shirt.” 

Nose...bleeding? I suppose that's better than what I assumed. 

“Why is your nose bleeding?” 

“It just does that sometimes. Don't worry about it.” 

“ _ Don't worry.”  _

“Nico, I am worrying about it. First you pass out during our performance and have to stay in the hospital. Then you end up being checked into the hospital again and this time you say you fell and hit your head and started gushing blood. And that doesn't sound right. I've seen your house. It's all carpeted. You wouldn't get such a massive head wound from just falling. You could have been exaggerating, but then your aunt wouldn't have taken you to the hospital and you wouldn't have a bandage on your head.”

“Will stop.”

“And now you've been in the hospital for more than a month. You can't possibly only be there for a head injury. To top that off you’re paler than you were before. You ended up dropping something today and got sad over it. And I know that you're not clumsy. You just collapsed in my arms a few minutes ago. Your  breathing isn't normal. Your heart rate is too fast. And now your nose is bleeding.”

“Will…”

“What's wrong with you Nico?” I stop walking. “And don't lie this time. What's really wrong with you?” 

“Not now, Will,” Nico says...no sobs. He's crying. I made him cry. Good job me. But this...this is important. 

“Please not now. I had a good day today. Don't ruin it. Please.” 

“Nico…”

“Please Will!” 

I sigh. “Okay.” I start walking again. 

Nico buries his head back into my shoulder. 

“I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry.” He whispers. 

Nico…

What's wrong?


	18. Hero

“Too slow. Play it all in one go.” I say. 

Holly growls. 

I sit down at the piano seat. “You play it like this.” 

I play the part she's struggling with. She gasps in surprise. 

“Damned robot,” she mumbles. 

I decide to ignore that. 

“Come on let's try this again.”

I need a distraction. Please let me use this as a distraction. 

 

***

 

I hate Will Solace. 

I'm going to kill him. But I need to do it in a way where no one finds out. Maybe poison will work. 

“Holly, you turned down Mike?”

“Huh? Oh, yeah. I guess I just don't like guys with blue eyes.” 

Maybe I can stab him with glasses. 

“Did you decide what you're going to do for the school show?” 

“Not yet.”

I'm too busy plotting a murder here. 

“The festival is in November. We should probably start soon.” 

“We're allowed to invite guests to play with us, right?”

“Yeah, I've heard that Malcolm is bringing someone really important.” 

“The top students will probably do better, but we all have to play a part.”

Top Students. 

“You're one of the top students at this school. You need to find something to do quick, Holly” 

Right. I'm one of the top students and yet…

  
  


“Now you're playing too fast and making careless mistakes.” 

I'm going to kill him. I can't do this. I'm out. 

“Wait! Holly!” 

No. RUN. Run. Run. Run. Run. Tired. Sit.

My hands are too small. I can't do this. 

“Holly!” Will effing Solace. “I found you.” 

He comes over and sits down next to me.  

“Look...I...uhhh...I've never taught anyone before so I'm not entirely sure how to do it, but I'm sorry if I offended you. I brought a peace offering.”

Peace offering? What…?A cookie. You think you can win me over with a single cookie? 

“It's a really good cookie. It melts in your mouth, and it’s the right amount of sweetness. Not too much, but not too little. And the sides are crispy, but the inside it soft, so it’s easy to bite into.” Pause. “I'm starting to talk about sweets like Nico does.” 

Who? 

“Anyways, you must be hungry. I brought some other food too.” 

Food? No. I don’t need any food. I especially don’t need any food from Will Solace. 

But I’m so hungry. 

No Holly! Don’t do it!

I'm weak. 

“Give it.” 

Bite. This is the best cookie ever!

“Do you come here a lot?” 

Here? Where? Oh. I’m at the park. The stairs that lead to the other half of the park.  I guess I came here by instinct. 

“I used to play here when I was younger. With my...hero. He's the one who started playing the piano first. I just wanted to do what he did. But he never focuses on me. He always has his eyes in someone else and I...I don't know what to do. I want him to say something to me. To say I'm doing good, but…” 

What am I doing? Spilling my heart to the enemy? 

“I think he’ll notice if you play the piano. Play for him and then maybe he'll finally hear you.” 

What is with this? I want someone to tell me to stop playing the piano. I want someone to tell me it's hopeless. 

But maybe...maybe it's not. 

“How about you?” 

“Hmm…”

“Who do you like? Who's your hero?” 

“Like? I don't like anyone…” 

“Liar I can see it on your face.” Your eyes are sparkling. 

“I wouldn't say I like him, but...he definitely helped me. I would consider him my hero. And even if I did like him, he likes someone else.” 

So sad. “Are you sure?” 

Nod. 

“I would still try. Giving up is...too cliche.” 

“Huh?”

“So what's he like?” 

“Unpredictable. Violent. Stubborn. But when he's on stage he's beautiful. Like an angel. He's always strong. Loves sweets too much. Feels too much. I was finally able to start seeing the color in life because if him” 

“You really like him don't you?”

 

***

 

_ Click. Click Click.  _

It fell. I dropped it again. I'm a terrible person. 

“Nico what's wrong?” 

“It fell.” 

“What fe… your violin.” 

“I can't hold it. My hands are shaking. I can't control them!” 

“Nico. Calm down.”

“I can't play. It's the only thing I have, and I can't do it anymore.”

“That's not true.” 

I'm crying. I'm crying again. Why am I so weak? Why am I such a failure? Why am I so messed up?

 

***

 

“Ms. Flan actually screamed. It wasn’t even that great of a prank, but damn did it terrify her.” 

“Must have been great.” 

You’re supposed to laugh Lou. It was funny. You always laugh at these things. What’s wrong with you today?

_ Ooff.  _ “Huh? Why’d you stop walking?” 

“Lou? What’s wrong? You’ve been out of it for days. Even Will said that you were avoiding him.” 

Will. Right? He’s leaving. Going to some fancy music school and leaving the rest of us idiots behind. 

“Did you know he’s planning to go to some music school next year?” 

“Oh. Yeah! It’s great isn’t it? He’s finally trying to make something out of his life. Trying to do what makes him happy.” 

Happy? 

Cecil’s right. He’s not just leaving. He’s not just leaving because he wants to get away from us. It’s what he thinks is best for himself. It’s what’ll make him happy. 

I’ve just been so stuck in the past that I haven’t even tried to take a step forward. I’ve been so focused on trying to keep everything the same I...I didn’t notice whether the people around me were happy or not. I didn’t think about whether I was happy with the way things were or not.

Things can’t stay the same forever. You have to change and things have to change in order to make people happy. 

I take in a deep breath. “Cecil…”

“You know Lou? You’re my best friend. And I don’t think there’s really much that could change my mind about that.” 

Friend. 

“I think we should break up.” 

He smiles. “It barely felt like we were together in the first place. I’m happy you figured it out. I would have done it if you didn’t soon.” 

I can feel tears running down my cheeks again, but this time...this time I feel relieved. 

“Woah! Lou! Why are you crying? You’re the one who dumped me! Hey! We’re still friends! I promise!” 

A small laugh comes out of my mouth, and Cecil freezes. “Yeah. Best friends forever or something.” 

This feels good. It’s like some burden I didn’t even know I was carrying finally disappeared. I feel lighter. 

“Yeah Lou. Best friends forever.” 

  
  


“Why are you in the piano room during lunch?” 

I shrug. Cause I knew this is where you spend all of your free time. 

He sits down next to me, and I scoot over. 

“Well, I heard some strange sounds coming from the piano. I guess it was you.” 

“Not everyone can be a master pianist.” 

“I’m far from a master.” 

He starts playing some gentle tune and I close my eyes. This is nice. His presence. It’s comforting. 

“Cecil told me that the two of you broke up.” 

“Yeah.” 

“I’m here if you want to talk about it.” 

For now. But what about next year? Or the year after that? 

“I guess...I guess I finally realized that neither of us really liked each other like that. But it took me forever to figure out. And he...why did he go along with it?! If he didn’t like me why didn’t he just tell me? Why did he get hurt because of me?!” 

He just went along with it and hurt himself because he didn’t want me to be hurt. That stupid idiot. 

Piano. He’s still playing the stupid piano. The stupid thing that got me into the mess! 

“Stop playing! Your supposed to comfort me you idiot. I swear. It’s like it wouldn’t even matter to me if you were here or not!” 

Yes it would. It definitely would. But you’re leaving. You’re leaving. 

“If...if it doesn’t matter to you, then I think I’ll stay.” 

What? 

“I looked through the schools again. There’s one really close by. I...I think I’m going to aim for that one. Afterall, how am I going to get better if my favorite supporter isn’t there to listen to me?” 

“You...you aren’t leaving? But...but you want to! If you want to, you have to go!” 

He shakes his head. What the heck is wrong with him? 

“I don’t think I’m ready to leave you and Cecil yet. I...I won’t be around you two as much by going to this school, but...but I don’t want to stop being your next door neighbor so soon .In the future, we might have to leave each other, but that’s a problem for the future. Present Will, isn’t ready for that much commitment. Baby steps.” 

I can feel tears run down my cheeks again. 

Baby steps. Yeah. 

Everyone else around me, they’re all taking steps towards going to their future. They’re all trying their best to be happy and build happy lives. Even if things seem painful or scary, everyone else is still taking that step forward into the unknown. And they’ll keep moving forward one step at a time. I’m the only one who’s stuck where I started. 

Time doesn’t stop for anyone. You can’t just freeze time and stay in one place. 

So maybe...maybe it’s time for me to take a step forward too. 

 

***

 

“You said you were going to bring me Caneles the next time you visited” Nico yells. 

“I'm sorry.” I apologize. 

“You promised you heartless idiot.” 

“They were sold out. What did you want me to do?” 

“Improvise!” 

“I did!” I hold up a pack of other sweets. I have no idea what they are, but Nico's aunt said that they're like Caneles.

“Oh. Yay. Forgiven. Thank you!” He grabs the box from me and tears it open. “So how have your lessons been going Will?” He grabs one of the sweets from the box and stuffs it into his mouth. 

“I think they're going much better now,” I answer. “But they're so tiring.” 

Nico stops eating.“You're still practising yourself though right?” He asks. 

“Yeah, but I don't think I am as much as before. But I'm definitely learning a lot from teach…” 

“You need to practice yourself too. You don't have time to focus on other people.” 

Where did that come from? 

“I am practicing. And teaching is helping me alot too.” 

“Is it enough though? Competitions start back up in December! You need to be ready for them!” 

“I am practicing. But I can't spend my entire life doing it!” 

“Then stop teaching! Other people are practicing way more than you! Do you think think you're ready to compete against that?!” 

“I told you I'm practicing! Who's the one who told me that being perfect isn't what matters!” 

“But then you won’t wi...n.” His eyes widen and he looks away. 

“Nico?” 

“What am I doing? I'm acting like your dad. I'm making you try to practise more and focus on winning. What's wrong with me?” 

Tears are streaming down his face. He covers his face with hands. 

Dad? 

Hospital. Sick. Dad. 

“What's wrong with me?” 

The door to the room opens. 

“Nico I…” 

Some dude with short blonde hair, electric blue eyes, and a muscular build walks in. The guy had to be at least four inches taller than him and he had a scar on his lip. Black rimmed glasses framed his face and made him look less threatening. The smile that was on his face and the concern that it morphed into a second later helped with that too. 

He rushes over to Nico's side. “What's wrong? Nico, what's wrong?” He looks at me maybe hoping for an explanation I can’t give. 

“What's wrong with me?” Nico whispers. “I yelled at him for doing what I said.” 

He looks back down at Nico. “What?” 

“Nico I'm not mad.” I comfort. 

“You should be. I'm a terrible person. You should be mad at me. You should be yelling. You should walk out of here mad and never want to see me again. I'm just a mess. Why are you even here anymore? You don't need me. Forget I ever existed and move on with your life!”

“ _ Don't forget me.” _

_ “I want people to remember me when I play.” _

_ “I want music to reach the people who hear it.”  _

Nico? 

“I can't forget you. I promised I wouldn't.” I murmur. 

“Well then I'm telling you to. Forget that promise and forget me! You'll be better off.” 

“Nico?” 

“Go away.” 

“No. Nico.” 

“I…” The older dude starts, “maybe you should leave for now. Try visiting him again later.” 

“But…” I look over at Nico. He’s curled up into himself with tears streaming down his arms. 

“I'll come back later.” I whisper. I take one last look at him before I leave. 

  
  


I throw all my medical books on the ground and sit in the middle of them with my computer. 

Passing out when tired. 

Tired easily. 

Excess bleeding or easy bruising. 

Shallow or fast breaths. 

Rapid heartbeat. 

Random nosebleeds. 

Weakness or loss of control in limbs. 

Pale skin. 

What is it? What's wrong with him? 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A lot happened this chapter. I hope it didn't seen disorganized. 
> 
> Here's the link for what Will was playing when talking to Lou Ellen: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pVJsEKbz3S0
> 
> Also, we aren't super close to the ending, but I have been writing this with a couple chapter done in advance, so you guys don't wait months if I get busy, so in terms of that I am close to writing the ending. But...I thought I would ask if you guys want a happy, bittersweet, or ambiguous ending? And for those of you who watched the anime or read the manga, ending like that or something different? Leave opinions in the comments, but try not to leave spoilers! 
> 
> Or...  
> I also have a tumblr! Here's the link https://skyla-schultz.tumblr.com/  
> or you can search for @skyla-schultz  
> Feel free to ask me questions there or give opinions for the ending. Or just talk! I'm open to that!
> 
> Thank you for reading! I hope you all enjoyed!  
> Please leave comments and/or kudos if you did!  
> I love reading comments and thank you to those of you who left comments last chapter!  
> I hope you all have a great day/night wherever you are! :)


	19. Playing for Someone

“Your playing is different Holly it's like your notes are skipping.”

“You and I both know that notes can't skip.”

“I know, but when I heard you it sounded like they were skipping. Did something good happen?”

“ _Play for him and then maybe he'll finally hear you.”_

There's no way that stupid conversation with that idiot is making me this happy. But maybe...maybe the two of us are more alike than I thought. We both feel like we're trying to reach people that are always too far away.  I'm trying to destroy him, but…

What he's doing is pretty noble.

Love that doesn't ask for anything in return. That's makes a person pretty strong.

  


“I'm home.”

“Oh. You're home early today sis.”

“Yeah. I guess. So what have you been up to today Damien?”

 

***

 

I pick up my phone.

“Hello?”

“Hey.” A soft voice whispers at the other end.

Nico?

“I'm sorry. I don't know what came over me. It's not an excuse, but...I'm really sorry.”

“It's...it's fine Nico. Like I said I'm not mad.”

I'm not I'm really not. You can’t imagine how relieved I am now that I’m hearing your voice.

“You're worried though.”

I am. I am. I'm so worried. No matter what I do I can't pinpoint what's really wrong with you. With each thing I find I just get more and more scared.

“Of course I'm worried.”

He sighs. “I guess that's to be expected. I've been acting pretty weird.”

“ _Im acting like your dad!”_

You're not my dad Nico. And you can never be like him. The two of you are too different.

But at the same time...you're so similar.

You won't end up like him, will you?

You can't. You can't.

I won't be able to stand it.

You can't.

  


“Did you bring anything with you?”

“Huh?” I ask. “Oh no. I forgot.”

“ _Im acting like your dad!”_

You’re not. You’re not. You’re not.

And you’re not going to end up like him either. You’re not.

It’s going to be fine. Fine. Fine. Fine.

They’re nothing alike!

“‘You really are a strange person. You came all the way to the hospital, but you haven't said a word.’”

Those lines. They...they sound familiar. I look up at him and my eyes fall on a book sitting on the side table. ‘My Sweet Accomplice’.

I've read that book a hundred times. I've written a report on that book.

“Will you come with me to find out how it ends?”

Don't say it.

“You want to commit double suicide with me?”

I stare at him wide eyed. He looks away.

“I'm joking. I don't really mean it.”

“Nico?”

“Don't worry. I'm sorry that that's all I'm able to make you do.”

“Ni…”

The door to the room opens. “Visiting hours are over now sir. Please leave soon.”

“Okay.” The man leaves the door open.

“I...I’ll guess I’ll see you later then?”

Nico nods his head before turning towards me. “Hey...I just...I thought I’d let you know. But umm...things aren’t looking very good for me right now.” A dry laugh fills the silence in the room.

What is he talking about? What does he mean things don’t look good for him? He said he was going to get better. He was going to get better. He _needs_  to get better.

“The doctors just don’t have much hope for me at this point.”

“Nico?”

This isn’t true. This can’t be true.

“I'll see you later Will.” He gives me a small smile before lying down on the bed and turning away.

  


“Are you feeling alright Will?” Lou Ellen asks.

I raise my head a bit off the desk and look at her.

“I'm fine.” I answer, but even I can tell that I didn’t sound very convincing.

“You definitely don't look okay.”

“I’m fine.”

She laughs slightly, but she doesn’t sound happy. She sounds nervous? Worried? Scared?

“How about we all go visit Nico together? We haven’t visited him as a group in a while.”

“I’m in,” Cecil calls.

I shake my head. “I’m not going.”

“Will?”

I get up from my seat and walk past them to the door. “I...I have to go teach Holly. I’ll see you guys later.”  

  


“Your head is in the clouds Will.” I look at Lee. How long have I even been here?

“How about we call it a day.” He continues.

“I'm sorry.”  

I guess I'm not a really good teacher if I can't keep my cool long enough to give a lesson. I stand up and walk out of the house.

_“Things aren’t looking very good for me.”_

You have to be fine. You have to be. I can’t go through this again. I can’t. I can’t I can’t.

“Wait! Will!” I look behind me. Holly?

  


“So this weirdo comes up to me and says, 'I'm going to dedicate this oboe performance to you Holly.”

I let out a laugh.

“I finally got you to laugh.” She cheers.

I look at her and somber down.

“ _You want to commit double suicide with me?”_

I smile at her. “Thanks. I'm sorry for making you worry.”

I can't let so many people worry about me. I’ve already worried Lou Ellen and Cecil and probably Lee too. I can’t more people to that list.

“I wasn't worried,” she argues. “There's just nothing cool about seeing you look like a wimp. You're supposed to be cool.”

“The guy with the oboe,” I interrupt looking up to the stars “he's going to be a really good performer.”

“Really?” She kicks her legs on the swing and starts swinging slowly next to me.

I hope you're looking at the stars too Nico. They look really nice today. You could probably start pointing out constellations. Maybe teach me some too. That would be nice. Really nice.

“Having someone to play for and playing for that person is what makes a performance great.” I look towards her. “You started playing the piano because you wanted to play for someone else too, right? Music has the power to tell something that words sometimes can't.”

“That's cliche.”

“Maybe. But I still think it’s true.”

  


“Hey!” I look towards Cecil resting against the wall near the classroom door.

“We're going to visit Nico today,” he continues. “Wanna come?”

I look down. “Go without me.” I walk past him.

Why? Why don't I want to see him? I want to see him so much that my heart aches, but at the same time thinking of seeing him again makes me feel like I'm at the bottom of the Earth, and I cant breath.

“Come on Will. let's go.” Cecil argues following behind me.

I stop walking and turn towards him. “I said I'm not going.”

But why? Why don't I want to go? Why don't I want to see him?

I want to. I want to so much. I want to see him smile and see his eyes sparkle when he’s excited. I want to see his teasing smirks and the calm smiles that I rarely ever saw. I want to see his hair blowing in the wind and his hands playing his violin. I want to hear his laughs and excitement and annoyance. I want to hear him talk about his sister and point out constellations. I want to hear him play the violin again.

“What's wrong Will?”

I don't know. I don't know. I don't know.

I want to see him. I want to. I want to so much. But I don't want to see him like that. I don't want to see him barely able to move sitting on a hospital bed with machines I've never heard of attached to him while he forces a smile for me.

“You're acting kinda cold. It's unlike you.”

I know. I know. I know.

“After Nico helped you with so much, why are you running away when he needs it?”

I stop. That's what I'm doing isn't it. I'm running away. Nico needs help and I'm running away. No matter how much I tried to make him stop, no matter how much trouble I was, Nico always kept trying. He was always stubborn. Even though be needed help himself, even though he was struggling himself, he ignored it and focused on me.

And what am I doing? Running away. Is this how I'm repaying him? Am I just taking what he gave me and running away?

“Will! Look at me.” Cecil grabs me and turns me around. I sink to the floor.

But how do I help him? How am _I_ supposed to help him?

“Will? What's wrong?”

Cecil crouches down next to me. Panic in his eyes.

“What do I do?!” I burst. “Nico's hurting...he's dying, and there's no way I can help. And then I...I keep...I keep leaving, and I don't want to lose him, but there's nothing I can do. I'm scared. I'm so scared.” A sob escaped my throat, and I curl up into myself on the floor.

This is too much. This is all too much.

“Will,” Cecil starts in a soft voice. That's different. He's always so loud and energetic. “I think...you should go see him.”

Of course you do. Anyone would. If our places were stitched around I would say the same thing. But I'm weak and I can handle all of this.

“For the person I like I would do anything to see them again even if I was scared to,” Cecil continues. “I would do anything to see them even if I had to eat something disgusting like dog liver and hamburgers made of rat meat.”

Thank you for putting that picture in my head. I feel much better now.

“I don't like him.”

“Don't give me that again. You wouldn't care this much if you didn't. And don't mention Chelsea.”

Why wouldn't I? He likes her not me. What's the point of falling in love if it just hurts? But it already hurts. Maybe I should just forget his like Nico said. It would hurt less. It would hurt so much less.

“You know. Nico...he always seems happier whenever you're around. When it's just Chelsea, Lou Ellen, and me...he seems more...defeated? But when you're around there's more energy in him. Sometimes it's not always good, but it's there. I don't think it would be like this is he didn't care about you as much as you care about him.”  

Does he?

“He always turns to you when he wants something. He turns to you when he just wants another person to be there. He asks you for food and most importantly he asked you to be his accompanist.”

“ _You special Will. Nico...he doesn't trust people easy and he hates asking for help, but he turned to you.”_

Chelsea said that didn't she? Was she...was she trying to tell me?

“Just seeing you and hearing from you makes him really happy. And I know you're hurting. You have every right to be hurting. But you can't just forget about him and move on. Not just for him but for yourself too. You care about him. You care about him a lot, and pretending to forget will just make you hurt more. You need to try Will. Not just for Nico but for yourself as well.”

_“If you don’t see me for a while. Will you forget me?”_

_“I’ll remember you. I don’t think I could ever forget. I won’t forget.”_

“What am I supposed to say?” I sob

“You'll figure that out when you see him again.”

A humorous laugh spills from my mouth. “Yeah. Yeah maybe.”

“Will…”

I interrupt him and change the topic. I can’t focus on this anymore. “You know Cecil, you’re really good at thinking about what would make other people happy.”

He frowns. “Am I?”

I nod. “Yeah. You always give really good advice.”

“Oh. Uh...thanks.”

“Make sure to follow your own advice for yourself. Helping other people be happy is great , but make sure you're happy too.”

He tilts his head confused before slightly smiling. “Yeah. Yeah. I’ll be sure to do that. Thanks Will.”

“I’m just stating the obvious. Nothing profound.”

“Maybe. But I guess everyone needs reminder.”

Now I suddenly feel like I did something important without even realizing it. That’s strange.

“Come on,” Cecil instructs standing up. “It’s time for you to go see Nico.”

  


“Will? I didn't think you would come back. I haven't seen you in two weeks.” Nico says.

“I promised to bring you Caneles.” I hold up a bag towards him without meeting his eyes.

I don't want to see them. I don't want to see them look so dead.

He takes the bag from me without the usual excitement he has when offered sweets.

“Have you been practicing?” He asks.

I nod.

“How about school? Is it going well?”

I hear crinkling. He's probably opening the bag.

“Same as always.” I whisper in response.

“How's everyone else doing? Lee? Your new student?”

“Fine.”

He throws a canele at me and I finally look towards him. He looks like he's annoyed but his eyes still look dull.

“You don't have to be here if you don't want to. I know I'm hard to be around. You don't have to deal with me. I'm sorry.”

Don't sound so sad. Be angry. Be mad at me. Be annoyed. I'm the one screwing up not you.

“I want to be here Nico. I really do. I wanted to see you again. Hear your voice. But...I just don't know what to say.”

“Pretend...pretend that nothing happened. Pretend the we're not in a hospital. Then we can talk again like normal.”

He has a hopeful tone in his voice now, but it still sounds sad. Is this how I'll always hear him from now on? Will he always sound a little sad when he talks?

And how long even is always now?

“You'll feel better if you forget. Actually, just forget about me all together. You'll feel lighter that way. Happier.”

Why? Why are you saying that again?

“ _You won't forget me, right?”_

You're the one who wanted to live on in people's memories. You're the one who didn't want me to forget. You're the one who played music so that people wouldn't forget you.

Why are you now telling me to forget you?

“It's not like you need some violinist who can't even hold their instrument anymore. I'm pretty useless now.”

No. No. No.

I do need you. I do. I need you more than you could ever imagine.

You're not allowed to say that. You're not.

How could I even consider forgetting you? You became so wrapped up in my life these past months that they wouldn't even make sense without you.

How could I forget? How could Nico want me to?

I grab the bag of Caneles out of his hand and start angrily biting into them.

“My sweets! Will!”

“You're wrong! You don't deserve these cause you're wrong!”

“Wrong?”

“Yes you're wrong!”

I turn around and stomp out of his hospital room. The bag of Canelés crumbles in my hand.

I feel angry. Why do I feel so angry?

_It's not like you need some violinist who can't even hold their instrument anymore.”_

I don't want you out of my life. I don't want to forget. After all you did for me, the least I can do is remember.

But...what can I do for you?

Is there anything I can do?

“ _Music has the power to tell something that words sometimes can't."_

_“That's cliche.”_

Of course _._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Will shows Nico he's angry by stealing his sweets and eating them in front of him.  
> That's their thing now. 
> 
> I have a tumblr! Here's the link https://skyla-schultz.tumblr.com/  
> or you can search for @skyla-schultz  
> Feel free to ask me questions there or give opinions for the ending. Or just talk! I'm open to that!
> 
> Thank you for reading! I hope you all enjoyed!  
> Please leave comments and/or kudos if you did!  
> I love reading comments and thank you to those of you who left comments last chapter!  
> I hope you all have a great day/night wherever you are! :)


	20. Scared

“You want to perform with me at the school exhibition. Seriously?” Holly asks.

She turns around to face me standing behind her. Her lessons had just ended, so I decided now was the best time to ask. 

“Please,” I plead.

“It's fine if you really want to.” 

That response was too quick. Did she really even think about it? 

“No way. But it's your big moment.” Lee argues. 

No Lee. Don’t say that. Don’t make her change her mind. 

“Are you sure?” I ask. 

But then again, I don’t want her to change her mind and then not tell me. I don’t want to force her to do this. I can think of something else if I have to. 

“I don't know why you're asking, but I think that my performance will be a lot more entertaining if you're there too.” 

All hail Holly Victor. 

“Thank you,” I say

“Why do you want to perform with me though?” 

I let a small smile spread across my face. “I want my song to reach someone.” 

 

***

 

“Do you want to get crepes after school, Holly?” 

“No time.” 

  
  


“Use your wrist more so you can reach those notes.” 

“Okay.” 

  
  


“Slow down at that part. Don't panic.” 

Let's try this again. I can do this. 

  
  


Read. Read. Read. 

Memorize. Memorize.Memorize. 

  
  


No way. He's even more accurate today than he was yesterday. How long did he stay up practicing? This is insane. 

How am I supposed to keep up with this? 

  
  


“You're not eating Holly.” 

“I'm not feeling very hungry. I'm going to go practice.” 

I need to practice more. It's not enough. It needs to be perfect. 

I need to be perfect. 

  
  


“I played the wrong note! I'm sorry!” 

Why am I messing up? After all of that memorizing and practising, why aren’t I playing it perfectly yet? 

“Don't worry about playing one wrong note. Just keep playing.” 

Easy for you to say. 

  
  


I need to practice more. I need to be perfect. 

_ “We'll be there to see you next week.”  _

_ “We'll have some important guests, so play your best.”  _

_ “I expect nothing but absolutely perfection.”  _

What do I do? 

  
  


_ Rip. _

Mr. Fletcher tears off October from the calendar and throws the page away in the trash can next to him. 

“It's finally November. Only four more days until the school concert.” 

Only four more days. 

I only have four more days to make this piece my own. 

_ Drip. Drip.  _

Huh? Am I...am I crying? Why am I crying? 

“Holly?”

Oh no. Run. He can’t see me like this Mr. Fletcher see me like this.

I need to hide somewhere. Where? 

Bathroom. Run. 

“Holly. I'm not going to let history repeat itself.” 

He chased after me. He already saw. Damn it. This is too much. 

“Holly. What’s wrong?” 

I can’t do this. 

“I'm scared. It's only a school event. It's not a major competition, but I'm still scared.” 

He sighs. “We're all afraid. Will's always terrified these days. I am too. I'm sure...I'm sure Damien White is scared before performances too.” 

He knows? How long? 

“You only get a few minutes to let the audience judge everything about you. It's cruel and unfair and terrifying.” 

“Then why go through it?” 

“Because after all of the time in pain, in the end, there will be a reward.” 

A reward? None of them seems rewarding right now. 

“Now get up! You shouldn't be hiding in my bathroom.” 

Should I go hide in my own bathroom? Maybe. Maybe I can just hide there until the day passes. Then I won’t have to perform. 

“The only reason you're this terrified is because you're afraid that all of your hard work won't pay off. You've spent hours upon hours trying to play this song as best as possible, but you're afraid that it’ll be for nothing.” 

He's right. I'm afraid. If I mess up, in front of all those people, they'll remember forever. After all of that hard work, in the end, what if I just mess up? What if all that time I spent just goes to waste. 

I guess the same would happen it I didn’t perform. 

“Don't be afraid. You've practised all you can. You've given your heart, body, and soul to the piano. Now all you have to do is play with all of your heart, body, and soul.”

 

***

 

“Cecil. I...I have a favor I need to ask you,” I start. 

“Alright.” He responds before I even begin to explain. 

“I haven't even told you what I'm asking for.” 

He waves his and smiles. “If it's for you, I'll do anything. It's not like you're going to tell me to do anything bad.” 

I let out a laugh. 

  
  


It's finally the day of the concert. No more time to practice. No more time to second guess myself. 

I look out on the stage. Are those...people in animal costumes playing the xylophone? What the heck? 

The performance ends, and they come back inside. The next performer walks past me. 

Is he holding a knife?! 

I look at him on the stage. Music starts up and he begins dancing to stage with the knife while humming to the song. Is he singing while swinging around a knife? 

With performances like these a serious one like ours is going to stand out. Maybe we should end with jumping on the piano and screaming. No one would expect that. 

Wait...no. That's good. If it stands out, then people are more likely to remember it. We don't have to change anything. It's too late anyways. 

I look over at Holly pacing back and forth in a corner reading over the sheet music and humming. I walk over to her. 

“Are you going to be okay?” I ask. 

She stops and looks towards me. “I'm fine. Fine. Fine.” She takes a deep breath. “Why are you not freaking out?”

I am. Only I'm just doing it internally. You can't hear it, but there is a lot of screaming happening. 

I see her hands holding the sheet music shaking. This is probably one of her first big performances. 

I grab her hand. 

“What are you doing?” 

“Huh?” I sigh. “Your hand is all clenched up. If you clench your hand, you'll feel more nervous. Keep them open.” 

I pull her finger away from her palm and let go of her hand. I feel my own hands shaking. Calm Will. This isn't the time to freak out. You've been up on stage a hundred times. No need to panic. 

“A friend of mine once said to just play with everything I have, and I'll be able to give a performance that people will remember. Just go out there are play for all of the people you care about. Play for all of the people listening. Play for yourself.” 

I just need to play the best I can, and hope that he'll hear me. 

“Performer No. 8. Please take the stage.” 

“That's us.”  I turn to Holly. “Ready?” 

She nods. I nod back. 

“Let's go.” 

 

***

 

“What are you listening to Nico?” 

“Cecil called me so I could listen to the school concert that they're all at.” 

“That's nice of them.” 

“Yeah.” 

“You made some good friends.” 

“Better than I deserve Jason.” 

Way better than I deserve. What was I thinking when I became friends with them. What was I thinking? What was I thinking? I should have just left them alone. 

“You deserve good things.” 

“Do I? Cause it doesn't seem like I get them much.” 

“I know but...you're a good person. And good people should get good things. I don't know why life is always being unfair to you.” 

“I guess it's trying to tell me I'm not a good person.” 

“Will's next Nico!” 

Cecil. 

“Will's next.” 

“Will. I'm sure you're happy that you were able to become friends with him.” 

“At first, but now...it hurts like everything else.” 

“Nico.” 

Will. Did I even really help him? Or am I just making everything worse? I should have just left him alone. He didn't need me to push him to play the piano again. Someone else would have helped him eventually. Someone who wouldn’t then double back and hurt him again. 

“I want to die Jason. I want all the pain to end. But at the same time, I don't want to go now. I don't want to die as soon as my life is getting better. I don't…” 

“You aren't dying for sure Neeks.” 

“Yeah? Well, I'm not a very lucky person.” 

 

***

 

_ “Why do you want to perform with me?”  _

_ “I have a friend who...who's lost all their confidence. I want to them them get it back.”  _

I hope Cecil did what I asked. I hope you're listening Nico. 

“It's time.” 

The two of us walk onto the stage. The bright lights shine down on us, and there's a really strong smell of vanilla in the air. That's different from usual. 

“Wait a minute isn’t that Will Solace?” 

“Why is he here?” 

“And with Damian's little sister?” 

“Why is he with his rivals sister?” 

“Why is he here?” 

I ignore all of the voices and look for Cecil. It's hard to find him in a crowd I can barely see, but he waves his hand, and our eyes lock. He nods. I nod back. 

Good. Everything's in place. 

Holly and I sit down at the piano. We place our hands in the keys. 

This is it. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> To write this I watch an episode before starting to write everything.  
> But I've been avoiding the last three episodes, so I still need to write them.  
> Eventually I will. 
> 
> I hope you all enjoyed! Thank you for reading!  
> If you enjoyed please leave comments and/or kudos!  
> Thank you to all of you who left comments last chapter! I love reading them.  
> I hope you all have a great day/night wherever you are!


	21. Don't Give Up

Good start. You can do this Holly. 

I felt so stiff before that I could barely move my fingers, but now they're flying freely across the keys. Everything is going just like we practised. 

Wait...what's he doing? His tempo changed. This isn't how we practised. What is he doing? He's supposed to  be supporting me. Why is he taking the lead. What am I supposed to do? I can't keep up!

No. This is my performance. I'm going to be the star of this stage. I'm not going to let Will Solace steal my spotlight. You want to play faster then we’ll play faster. 

This is war. 

Tempo. Tempo. We're matching now. I didn't even know I could play this good. 

But I can do this. 

Just listen closely and I can match. 

Two months ago I would have been left behind, but not anymore. All that time practising is not going to go to waste. 

_ “He's a hero. _

_ “Like a machine.  _

_ “A robot made of steel.”  _

_ You're wrong. He's not a robot.  _

If he was a robot then he wouldn't be able to put so many emotions behind each note. 

 

The cookie he gave me as a peace offering was really good. The silly conversations we had on our way home were fun. 

I only started playing the piano because I wanted my older brother to notice me. 

It was an ulterior motive.

But now...Damien….these past few days I've immersed myself in my music. I cried, I threw up, I forgot to eat, I forgot to sleep. It was painful, and I wanted to run away.

You feel the same way when you play don't you? 

“ _ Playing for someone is more important than you would think.” _

But I hate seeing you this way. 

Don't lose your way. 

Don't give up. Don't stop. 

Actions speak louder than words. 

It's not in your nature to just give up. 

Keep running forward and let me run behind you. 

You're my hero, don't stop running. Don't stop climbing. Don't give up. 

I’m not aspiring to be a top tier musician. I’m not aiming to go big like everyone else. I’m not prepared to give everything I have to music. 

But there are people who will listen. 

People who I want to hear. 

People that I want to play for. 

People that I love. 

 

It’s almost over. 

I’m so tired, but at the same time I want to keep playing until I collapse. 

Was I able to play it right? 

Was I able to pour my emotion?

Did he hear it? 

Hey, Will? Why are the notes you’re playing so filled with color? 

What makes them so beautiful? 

Are mine even close? 

 

It’s over. Deep breath. 

“Come on.” 

_ Clap. Clap. Clap. _

“That was amazing!” 

“Bravo!” 

“Marry me!” 

Everyone’s cheering. 

_ “In the end you get paid for all of your pain and suffering.”  _

Yea. 

“ _ Music has the power to transcend words.”  _

It really does, doesn’t it? 

“Do you think it reached them, Will?” 

“It did. I’m sure it reached him.” 

I really hope it did.

“How about you? Do you think you were able to give that friend of yours a wake-up call?” 

“Yea, I hope so.” 

 

***

 

“I am so tired,” Holly groaned.

We step backstage and everyone starts clapping for us. 

“Holly!” Two girls, who I assume are Holly’s friends, shout and come over and hug her. “That was amazing!” 

“Isn’t music great?” I turn around just as soon as Lee pats my head with a smile. 

“What are you talking about?” I ask. “I wouldn’t be playing piano if I didn’t think it was great.” 

He shakes his head and turns towards Holly. I follow his gaze. 

“I don’t think there’s anything in the world as great as seeing someone you care about growing into a better version of themselves. Especially if you had a part in it. Like if you’re a teacher.” 

Yeah. Seeing Holly play with me our on stage, seeing her follow everything I did as if it was a challenge, it made me proud. She’s grown. If it was two months ago, I wonder how she would have played then. 

“Mr. Fletcher!” Holly shouts before running towards him and giving him a hug. “Did you like it?” 

He smiles and hugs her back. “It was amazing. He takes his right arm and pulls me into the hug. “You two have definitely been filling my life with excitement!” 

He lets go of us and Holly smiles at me. Things have been exciting recently. Or at least it's one word I would use to describe how things have been going recently.

“Hey! Solace!”

I turn towards the direction of the voice. “Damien?” 

What is he doing here? Does he go to this school too?

He marches up to me. “What the heck are you doing playing on stage with my sister?!” 

“Sister?!” 

Since...what...huh? They don’t look anything alike! Or have the same last name! What?!

“Let me introduce you,” Holly says happily. “This is my older brother Damien White. His family adopted my twin sister and I when we were seven.” 

“There’s another one of you?!” 

What? Is she here too? Can they both play the piano? Have I been tricked? 

“Forget that!” Damien shouts. “Why were you playing with my sister? We’re rivals! You can’t play with the enemy’s siblings.” 

“I...I asked Holly as a favor.”

“Why the hell were you asking my little sister for a favor?” 

“Umm…” 

That’s a long story. 

“Knock it off Damien!” Holly interjects. 

He steps away from me and looks towards her. “Don’t tell me you’re defending him? How do you two even know each other?”

“He’s my teacher. And he’s taught me a whole lot of things.” 

Damien looks between us confused for a second before turning towards me with a glare. I flinch back. He totally wants to kill me. 

“The next competition is in a month. That’s where I’m going to beat you! You got that Solace! I’m not going to take it after seeing you show off like that right in front of me!” 

He turns around and runs off. 

Well, that was terrifying. I was not prepared for that at all. Why couldn’t Holly have told me?  

I turn towards Holly. She has a huge smile on her face. 

“What happened?” I ask. 

She turns towards me. “His drive is back. The song...it worked. It reached him,” she whispers. 

Damien White. Her older brother. So that’s her hero. That’s who she was trying to reach. 

I smile towards her. “Good job, Holly.” 

Tears start running down her face and her smile gets wider. “Thank you.” 

  
  


“Twinkle twinkle little star.” 

I slowly close the door to the roof behind me. A cool breeze blows and one of the sheets hanging to dry smacks me in the face. I sputter and lift it away. 

“How I wonder what you are.” 

Why are there so many sheets up here? Have they ever heard of the dryer? Does that cost too much money? I guess a hospital would have a lot of sheets.

“Up above the world so high.” 

I move away one of the sheets and I finally spot him sitting on one of the benches with a dollar store piano in his hand and a sad smile on his face. 

“Like a diamond in the sky.” 

I take a deep breath and move forward towards him. 

“Twinkle twinkle little star.” 

I move slowly and sit down next to him on the bench. He stops playing and opens his eyes panicked before he turns towards me and I can see his features relax. 

“Hey,” he greets softly. 

“Hey.” 

He taps another one of the keys on the toy piano. I look him over. 

He's wearing the hospital suit I've been seeing him in for the past month. It's probably a different one or the same one and it's been washed. There's a red blanket spread over his legs and blue slippers on his feet. His skin is definitely more pale than when I had first met him, but it's not too different from my previous visit. It definitely contrasts to his dark hair and eyes more. Especially because of how much duller his eyes have become and how his hair is longer. 

“You're outside,” I observe. 

A small smile appears on his face. “I don't want to stay cooped up in the hospital. The air is all stuffy and I got bored. It's more,” he pauses and presses another one of the piano keys, “free I guess. More space. Doesn't feel like there's someone watching every single one of my movements and waiting for something to happen.” 

I nod. It makes sense. Nico had been in the hospital for almost four months now. 

Wow. I hadn't even noticed it had been that long. Nico definitely didn't get out of the hospital before school started back up. 

“You know Will,” Nico starts. “You're surprisingly really mean.” 

I lean back on the bench and look up at the sky. A blue sunny sky with stray clouds floating across. 

“What do you mean?” I ask. 

“Don't act stupid,” he scoffs. “You had Cecil make sure I listen in to the performances. You wanted me to listen to you play.” 

“Yeah. I did. But why is that bad?” 

He taps another one of the piano keys. “You and your student...umm Holly?” 

I nod to confirm. 

“Yeah. You and Holly. You two played really well. Really well. I could hear that both of you were playing from your hearts and I wasn't even there. It was amazing.” 

I can feel heat rush to my cheeks, so I turn away. I had imagined how this conversation would happen, but this was not following anything I was prepared for. 

“Holly is super talented,” I comment. 

“Yeah. And you are too. You're definitely better than you were when we met. And that...that made me really happy.” 

He smiles gently before harshly pressing down on another key on the toy piano. His face morphs into frustration and he taps another key. 

“It made me happy, but it also made me really sad. Why the hell would you want me to hear that? You know how hard it was for me to accept that I wouldn't be able to play the violin anymore?” He slams another key. “Really hard. I hate it. I hate not find able to have enough strength to even hold it. But you know? I moved on. It was okay. I got what I wanted. I tried my best to forget about how great I felt whenever I played.” He sighs and presses another one of the keys lightly with a wistful expression. “But then I heard you and Holly play, and I thought, 'I want to play the violin again.’ And that made everything hit me all at once and it hurt.” 

He presses another one of the keys dejectedly. I lean forward and see wetness shining in his eyes. 

“You're really mean Will. Why would you make me listen to that?” 

I didn't prepared for a response like this. I wasn't entirely sure how I was supposed to respond to something like this. But I knew the answer to Nico's question. Of course I did. It had been the only thing on my mind for the past month. Everytime I played the piano, everytime I gave Holly lessons, everytime I visited him, everytime I heard someone playing I thought of this. 

“I don’t want this to just end.” 

“Huh?” 

A small smile plays on my lips. “You know...it always feels like I’m walking behind you. You’re racing up ahead of me and I’m struggling to keep up with you and keep you in sight. But I...I don’t just want to follow behind you. I want to walk next to you, and I want to see how this ends together.” 

I press one of the keys on the toy piano, and he seems to snap out of whatever trance he was in. He grabs my hand and squeezes in tightly before loosening his grip. I smile and squeeze back before resting out hands on the toy. 

“I really want to play with you again. Together.” 

Nico frowns and his eyes shine with tears. “I thought you wanted to be a doctor Will. It isn’t that easy. If I could play again, then I would want to play with you again too. I’d want to play with you everyday. But I’m not going to get magically better just because I want to.” 

“But you shouldn’t just give up and spend all your time rotting away in a hospital either.” 

“Why not?” 

There was a steady stream of tears flowing down his face now. His eyes were shut tight and his mouth was pressed into a firm line. Nico’s hand just felt like it was getting colder and colder. 

“You didn’t give up on me.” 

He opened his eyes slightly and relaxed his face. “You weren’t hopeless Will.” 

“I thought I was.” He turns towards me. “I thought that I’d never play the piano again. I thought that moving on was impossible. I thought that everything was a punishment from my dad and I’d never be able to enjoy music again.” I squeeze his hand tighter. “But you didn’t give up on me. You kept pushing me even though I felt like everything was hopeless. You always believed that I would be okay.” 

Nico shakes his head. “It’s different. For you believing was hope for me it’s just denial.” 

“Maybe. But I don’t think it’s like you to just sit around and go with whatever someone tells you. You’re supposed to fight back and try anyway. Maybe in the end it would all be useless and for nothing, but at least you tried.” I turn away from him and look up at the sky. “Someone really smart once told me, I just  needed to take a deep breath and try anyways.”

I look towards him from the corner on my eye and see a small smile on his face. “What idiot told you that?” 

I huff. “I just told you it’s someone really smart.” 

A laugh bubbles out of his mouth and I soon join in. That’s good. Laughter is good. When was the last time I heard him laugh? 

We soon fall into silence. I take a deep breath and grib his hand tight. “So,” I start, “do you really think you can forget?” 

We stare at each other for a few moments before Nico turns away and groans. “I thought you were supposed to be the nice one Will. But in reality, you’re just a jackass.” 

“What?” 

Where the heck did that come from? I thought I was being all emotional and supportive!

“Why can’t you just let me give up?” He sobs. 

A small smile spreads across my face. I use my free hands to brush some of Nico’s bangs away from his eyes. 

“Because I’m your accompianist, obviously.” 

He stares at me frozen with wide eyes and I stare back not knowing what to expect. Him wrapping his free arm around his stomach and devolving into a fit of laughs is definitely high on the list of things I was hoping would happen. 

He wipes the tears off his face and takes a deep breath once his laughter subsides. “You were right. That is a terrible pun.” 

We both devolve into more laughs before calming down and being able to breath again. 

I wipe the tears away from his eyes and give him a gentle smile. “And more importantly you’re my friend and I care about you way too much to just let you mope.” 

He smiles back at me and I let out a sigh of relief before leaning back on the bench. We both sit in comfortable silence. 

That went well enough. Sure, he didn’t really say anything definite, but at least he didn’t yell at me and almost push me off the roof. Then again, does he even have enough strength to push me off the roof? 

My train of thought gets interrupted when I feel an extra weight on my shoulder. I turn to find Nico laying his head on it with a pleasant smile on his face and his eyes closed. It reminds me of when we stayed late one day when I was practicing for my first competition in years. It’s a good expression on him. He looks more calm. Cute even. 

“If I’m going to let myself dream for things for the future again, then I’m allowed to be greedy, right?” 

I nod my head slightly before remembering that his eyes are closed. “Yeah.” 

“Then I’m going to dream for a future where we’ll be waltzing together someday.” 


	22. Walking Forward

“That was off.” 

I stop playing and glare at my cell phone sitting on top of the school’s piano. “That’s perfectly normal when you first start off.” 

“You’re slacking Will,” Nico shouts. “Slacking! Competitions start up soon. Do you not feel any pressure?”  

It’s already December. The prelims for competitions start in two weeks. And I am very very unprepared. 

“I know that. I’m just trying not to think about it.” 

“Well then start thinking about it. This is your future Will. The future. If you want to get into the school you wanted, you need to play well.” 

“I’m trying!” 

“Try harder!” 

“Nico!” 

“What is happening here?” Cecil asks from his spot  outside the window. “You’re arguing with each other over the phone now?” 

What has my life come to?

“Oh,” Nico says calmer. “I need to go now. I’ll talk to you later. Good luck!” 

“Oh uhh…” Nico hangs up before I can get anything else out. 

Where does he need to go? He’s still in the hospital. Maybe someone came to visit him or he needs to go for more tests. I hope he’s alright. 

I sigh and turn towards Cecil who’s still leaning against the open window. “Why is the window open in December?” 

And more importantly how did I not notice? 

“Oh I opened it. It wasn’t locked. Just needed to push and slide.” 

Of course. 

“Did you need anything?” I ask. 

Cecil shrugs. “Lou and I were going to go to the cafe to study for our History test tomorrow. You wanna come?” 

Him and Lou? They might have broken up, but it looked more like they had become closer since instead of falling away from each other. 

I looked towards the sheet music sitting on the piano and then back towards Cecil. I really should practise, but...Nico and Lou are right. I shouldn’t practise so much that I start throwing everything else important to the side. 

And there’s nothing more important than the people I care about. 

“Alright,” I reply. “I need a break.” 

  
  


After leaving the cafe, I head over the hospital. No more avoiding him. I’m going to visit him regularly from now on. Not having a repeat of what happened before. 

I go through the familiar route up to Nico’s room. I open the door and walk in to find...Nico not there? 

What? Why isn’t he here? Where could he have gone? Did they move him? Did he get more sick? Is he dea...no! Not that. Calm down. 

But where is he? And why didn’t he tell me in advance? 

I look around the room thinking that maybe there’s something left that could serve as a clue but come up with nothing. I sigh and turn around to leave the room. There’s nothing I can  do from here. Maybe the person sitting at the front knows. Or maybe I should ask one of the nurses. Or maybe I should just wait outside for him to come back. 

“Will,” I hear a voice call cheerfully from the other end of the hallway. One of the nurses turns towards her for a second with a surprised face before shaking his head and going back to what he was doing. Hestia rushes over to me. 

“Oh. It’s been a while.” 

She nods her head. “The last time you came you picked up some sweets and ran away.” 

I laugh nervously. That sounded rude when she put it like that. “Sorry.” 

She waves her hand to show that she was joking and turns towards the inside of the room. “Is Nico not back yet?” She asks. 

Back? Back from where? Probably nowhere bad considering that she is still smiling. 

“Umm...he’s not here.” 

“He must be there then.” 

There where? 

Hestia hums and motions for me to follow her. She leads us to the elevator and presses the 2 button. 

“So what have you been up to?” She asks. 

I think over what’s happened recently. “I got a student. Played with her at one of her school performances.” 

“Oh yes. Nico told me about it.  I’m sure it was great. You and your student.” 

“She did play really well.” 

The elevator opens and the two of us step out. Hestia leads me down the halls. We stop in front of a room with a big window to look inside. On the other side Nico is holding onto some railing while some man, probably a doctor of nurse, is helping to lead him. 

“He said he doesn’t want to lose his stamina or muscle strength. Wants to stand and walk by himself again.” She turns towards me. “Said he wants to play the violin again.” 

A smile spreads across my own face as I continue to watch him. He’s trying again. He’s actually trying again. 

He falls down on his knees and I let out a startled gasp. The man crouches down next to him and says something that we can’t hear from outside the room. Nico just shakes his head and sits up with a smile. He must have noticed us from his peripheral since he turns towards the window and waves. Hestia and I wave back. 

“This is all thanks to you Will,” Hestia whispers. I stop waving and turn towards her with a frown. “He gave up,” Hestia continues softly, “but now he’s trying to walk again. One step at a time.” 

“It wasn’t just because of me,” I reply. 

This isn’t just because of me. Everyone else helped too. And Nico was the one who finally decided to try again. 

She hums. “Maybe not. But you didn’t give up on him. And that...that’s what made him start trying again. You never gave up and tried your best to have him hope again too.” She pauses as we watch Nico stand back up and try walking again. “He...there’s a surgery that he could have that might help him. It’s risky, and we never considered it before. But he says he wants to try it now. Even if it’ll only help a little.” 

Surgery? That could either end well or really badly. It is risky. But...but if there’s really no other choice, is it worth it? Nico thinks it is now. 

“You’ve inspired him a lot,” Hestia adds. 

I smile. “He’s inspired me a lot too. Just repaying the favor.” 

“He said...he said he wants to try  because he wants to perform with you again.  Called you a shining star and it was all really beautiful. Said he was going to struggle as much as he can for it. ”  She pauses and puts a hand on my shoulder. “Thank you.” 

“Of course.” 

 

***

 

“Will!” I call out. 

I close the door behind me and pocket the extra key. It’s a good thing I have one or else my stupid neighbor would die. 

I walk up the stairs carefully gripping my plate with pizza pockets. He needs to eat something, and I couldn’t find anything else that he could easily eat. I would have made something better, but then he wouldn’t eat it. 

I open the door to his piano room to find him lying face down on the floor. I frown. 

“Will! Get up!” I shout. 

Will jumps up onto his feet and looks at me panicked. “Lou Ellen?” 

“Yes, it is I, Lou Ellen. And I bring to you food.” I hand the plate to him, and he looks at it with a frown. 

“I’m not really hungry,” he argues setting the plate on the piano and taking a seat in front of it. 

“Will,” I start. 

“I need to practise,” he interupts. “The competition is tomorrow.” 

Nerves. He’s nervous. Of course he is. Just bringing him easy to eat food isn’t going to help with that. 

“You need to eat. You’ve been practising everyday for almost a month. You’ll be fine.” 

I look him over and there are bags under his eyes and...his hair. What the heck?

“More importantly,” I start, ”you need a haircut. You can not go to one of the most important competitions in your life looking like that.” 

I walk out of the room and find some old newspapers, his hairbrush, a cloth, and a pair of scissors before heading back. I spread the newspapers on the ground before grabbing on the extra chairs and setting it in the middle of the spread of newspapers. Will is sitting on the piano chair intensely going over the sheet music. I sigh and pull him up from the seat and lead him to the chair. I wrap the cloth around him and snip the scissors next to his ear. 

That gets his attention. 

“What are you doing?” He asks.

“You need a haircut.” 

“You’re just going to mess it all up. I’ll go to a barber tomorrow.” 

I scoff. “Like hell you will. You’ll just forget about it and say it wasn’t as important. Just give into faith. I’m giving you one now.” 

He turns towards me with a skeptical look, but he just sighs and continues to read his sheet music. 

I take that as a yes, and begin to trim his hair. 

Snip. Hair falls on the floor. 

Snip. More hair falls on the floor. 

Snip. Snip. Snip. 

It’s peaceful. Just cutting Will’s hair while he reads. Just the two of us. 

“Lou?” Will starts. I turn my attention towards what he’s saying. “I’m going to try my best. But uhh...I’m going to make sure that I don’t forget about the other things too. And I bet you’ll help me until I finally get it through my head.”

Yeah. I won’t let Will get too far. If he tries to run away from the rest of us, then I’ll just have to pull him back and make him remember that we exist. I’m not disappearing from anyone’s life without a fight. And Will isn’t going to disappear from mine without one either. 

“I didn’t realize how much I wanted a pizza pocket until I had one,” Will whispers.  

Pizza pocket? When did he start eating them? What? 

I turn towards the plate and it’s empty. He’s clearly been eating them for a while if they’re already done. 

That’s good. That’s good. Focusing on everything that’s important. Not letting all your attention be absorbed by one thing. That’s all good. 

And he’ll get there. And I’m going to make sure that he doesn’t leave me behind again because of it. I won’t let the piano take Will away from me, Cecil, and everyone else. 

“Where’s my pizza pocket, Will?” 

“One of them was for you?!” He asks panicked. 

“Will,” I hiss as a joke. 

He laughs nervously.  I smile at him and begin laughing, and he soon joins in. 

This is good. This is what I missed when he had all those piano lessons. This is what I don’t want to lose. I don’t want to lose Cecil and I don’t want to lose Will. I don’t want to lose anyone, and that’s okay. No one ever wants to lose anyone. 

But I can’t expect to lose my friends either. I don’t want to lose them, and I can’t expect them to leave either. And of course that doesn’t mean that I’m not going to do my hardest to make sure that I pull them back if they go too far. Only this time, I’m going to make sure that we’re both happy. 

I’ve finally taken my first steps forward, and I’m going to keep on moving along with all the people I care about. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Only a few more chapter left. I estimate around fiveish, but we'll see. I haven't written anything after this chapter yet.   
> Also, I started school (first year of college), so I'm a little more bust now. But I am aiming to finish this fic before the year ends. 
> 
> I hope you all enjoyed this chapter. Thank you for reading!   
> If you did, PLEASE leave comments and/or kudos!   
> I enjoy reading comments!   
> And since I haven't written the ending yet, I'm still open to suggestions! :)   
> So far it looks like it's divided between a bittersweet and happy. I haven't decided yet  
> i hope you all have a great day/night wherever you are! :)


	23. Goodbye Hero

Competition Day 1. 

I’m not lined up to compete today, but it’s good to see the competition. If I spent all day today practising, I ‘d probably run myself down and be too tired to play well tomorrow. 

Also, they have really great egg sandwiches. 

I sit down on the floor backstage and open up the container of sandwiches that I bought from the front. The smell wafts from them and I sigh in happiness. 

I missed you oh great sandwiches. 

I pick one of the three pieces up and take a bite. A giant smile spreads across my lips. So good! Why did I stop coming to competitions? I should have done it just for the sandwiches. 

I’m about to take another bite when I notice someone stop in front to me. I look up. Chiara? And she doesn’t look happy. Her arms are crossed over her chest and she has a scowl on her face. I can practically see dark energy wafting off of her. 

I shakily hold up the sandwich box. “Do you want one?”    
She looks at them confused before taking one hesitantly. She examines the sandwich before sitting down next to me and  taking a bite. Her look of hesitation disappears and she smiles. The dark energy dissipates and instead she actually starts to look like a normal high school girl. 

I smile excitedly and nod my head. “They’re great aren’t they? This sandwich is light on both the mayo and the salt and it brings out the sweetness of all the flavors to the max! And the eggs are brought directly from the farms and...!” 

Chiara raises an eyebrow, and I stop my rambling. I can feel my cheeks heat up, so I look away and take another bite. 

Since when do I ramble about egg sandwiches to people? 

Rambling about food is more like something Nico would do. 

 

***

 

_ Groan.  _

Why the hell am I so nervous? Some butterflies are normal, but not throwing up in the bathroom before it’s my turn to perform? What would Holly say to this? Her big brother throwing up before a competition? Lame. 

_ Sigh.  _

Huh? 

Chiara? Will? What are they doing sitting on the ground eating...sandwiches? What? 

I stand in front of them and they both look up. Will holds out a box with another sandwich in it. 

“Here.” 

“Huh?”

“The sandwich. You want?” 

He’s offering me a sandwich? That’s odd. 

“Sure...uhh...thanks.” 

He nods, and I hesitantly grab the sandwich from the plastic container. 

This is probably not a good idea. I just threw up. 

I sit down on the ground next to Will and take a small bite from the sandwich. 

Oh. Oh wow. This is amazing. How have I not tried this before? 

“This is great,” I compliment. 

Will’s eyes light up, and Chiara makes a face like something bad is about to happen. 

“They’re great aren’t they? This sandwich is light on both the mayo and the salt and it brings out the sweetness of all the flavors to the max! And the eggs are brought directly from the farms. You can say that this is the ultimate egg sandwich!!” 

I lean back a bit as Will happily rants with his arms waving around everywhere. 

This...This is definitely  _  not  _ the Will Solace I remember from when we were younger. But I guess that’s not a bad thing. 

“If you put a slice of ham in it then it would probably taste even better.” 

“Then you could put more mayo in.” 

“It makes me crave tea,” Chiara adds. 

“I just want some meat,” I say. 

“There are some meat sandwiches there too. And I think I saw some cake,” Will comments. 

“I think scones would taste great after this,” Chiara suggests. 

“I want milk. Milk is the best,” Will says. 

“Milk tea is the best tea.” 

“I like fish cutlet sandwiches the best. Those don’t taste good with milk,” I add with a smile. 

This is different. Before we used to just stare each other down. Chiara and I got closer over the years, but I didn’t expect this to happen with Will. He was my rival. I’m supposed to hate him. But this is nice. Just talking to two people at a piano competition about foods we like. It’s so...normal. 

“Number 8 Damien White. Please get ready and stand by the wings. You’re next.” 

“Guess it’s my turn,” I say standing up and scarfing down the rest of my sandwich. I walk a few steps forward and swallow before stopping. 

“I wish I had something cool to say, but I can’t really think of anything. I’ve never been much for words. Maybe that’s why we’re musicians. We have to express everything through music.” 

I turn towards Will and Chiara still sitting on the ground. The two of them smile at me and Chiara gives me a thumb up. I smile back and walk towards the stage. 

It takes me a few steps to notice that all the nervous energy from before is no longer there. It’s like it was never there to begin with. 

I stop in front of the doors and the man looks over his tablet before turning towards me. 

“You ready?” He asks. 

I take a deep breathe and nod my head. 

Am I actually ready for this? 

Yeah. Yeah I’m ready. 

The man opens the door. 

It’s time. Let’s go. Let’s go. 

It’s time for me to play. It’s time for Damien White to play. 

This is where I’m finally going to let go of you. Where I’m finally going to part ways. 

I walk forward towards the piano and bow to the audience before taking a seat in front of the piano. 

I look to the audience. They’re all there. Holly. Laurel. Mr. Roberts my piano teacher. They’re all here to watch me. 

I take a deep breathe and set my hands on the keys. 

I’ve always hated being bored. I used to play pranks. Run around too much. Terrorize the school playground. 

No wonder that dad grew pessimistic about my future and enrolled me into all kinds of lessons from dance to gardening. But the only one that really stood out, the only one that entrapped me was the piano. 

But it didn’t always start that way. It started with being convinced to try my best with the teacher by saying that if I did he would give me a new robot toy. I agreed. It wasn’t like the piano seemed too hard at the time anyways. Mr. Roberts taught me something, and I easily picked it up no problem at all. 

But then I met them. And it wasn’t just something easy to do get a toy out of. 

I look towards the sheet music. 

Just watch. Chiara. Will. 

I’m going to destroy you both with how well I’m going to play. 

I play the first note and rest easily follow afterwards. 

Chopin Etude Op. 10 No. 12.

I’ve been so lame lately. I’ve disappointed my audience. I’ve made my little sister worry so much she played a song to try and help me. I’ve been so bad even Will has tried to help. 

Humiliating. It’s like I haven’t changed at all since I was a kid. 

 

_ “AHHHH!!! I lost again!”  _

_ “Damien!”  _

_ “Ahh!”  _

_ How could I lose to some expressionless girl and that blue-eyed machine?! _

_ “Darn it! Darn it! Darn it! I won’t lose to them again!”  _

 

Why didn’t I see it before? I thought that I knew you better than everybody else. But when I saw you again for the first time in two years…

 

_ “We’re still in the middle of our journey.”  _

_ “It looks like he found his reason to play again.”  _

_ “If my performance was sloppy after all of that...then that's just who I am.” _

 

I think I’m finally starting to get it now. It’s always been like this. You were the one who expanded my world, but I could never imagine you showing up like that. 

What you want to be and what I expect you to be are two different things, huh? 

I want to know what it feels like. I want to understand the composer and why they wrote each piece. I want to trace their footsteps and experience what it’s like to pour everything I have into these sheets of paper. 

I don’t need to be like Will Solace. I don’t need to be like anyone except myself. 

This...this is my piano. This is how I play. 

Move forward! Keep going! 

I’ve been waiting for this day for two years. And I can definitely say that I don’t feel bored anymore. I found something that I can pour all of myself into. Something that I can give everything I have. 

Chiara. Will. They’re both amazing people that I can face. People who don’t let me slack off. Whenever we compete I always have to give my all. Face them head on with every fiber of my being. 

I’m so lucky. 

Last note. My hands fall away from the keys and I look up at the roof with a smile. 

The audience erupts into cheers and applause. 

“Bravo!” 

“He’s back in full force!” 

“Damien!” 

I recognize that voice. I could never forget it. I made Holly proud. I did it. I did well today. I played my best. I played like myself. 

I turn towards the audience and it doesn’t look like they’re going to stop cheering anytime soon. 

Which is a problem. I still have another number to play. 

  
  


I run off the stage and collapse as soon as I made it through the doors. 

“Good job,” the door man congratulates. “You were great.” 

“The second piece was so hard! What was with that atmosphere” 

It was like I completely ran out of energy, and everyone was expecting so much. It was so nerve wracking. If I made one small mistake, would all the respect they now had for me disappear? 

“You created that atmosphere yourself,” Will reminds me helping me stand up. 

Will? Chiara? When did they get here?

“You should have made Chopin your second piece. Leave everyone with a bang,” Chiara suggests. 

I stand by myself, but Will keeps a hand on my shoulder just in case. I look between them. 

Did I reach him?  Was I able to reach him with my music the same way Holly reached me with hers? Like you two do? 

Will and Chiara lead me away from the doors. 

This is good. This relationship we have going is good. Friends? Rivals? Enemies? I don’t know. I push Will’s hand away and lean my arm against this shoulder. 

“Don’t think about messing up now, got it? You have to get through the prelims if I’m going to destroy you in the final round!” 

Will and Chiara both sigh. 

“Don’t make me laugh,” Chiara scoffs. “You’re one to talk after that shaky second piece.” 

I back away from them. Why are the ganging up on me. 

“You’d better tone down on that bravado,” Will adds. “All bark and no bite.” 

“Dammit you two!” 

The two of them start laughing and look at them confused. What just happened? Was that a joke? Were they joking? Playing around like...like we’re friends. 

I smile and join in. My eyes focus on Will. 

Goodbye mirage. Thank you for everything. 

See ya hero. Thanks for everything you’ve done till now. 

Goodbye my hero. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chopin Etude Op. 10 No. 12.  
> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=99c4ClmeZEM
> 
> So that finishes up Damien. Not a lot of Will this chapter and not only a mention of Nico, but it was an important scene.  
> I have the next two chapter written as well, so I should get the next chapter up in at most a week.   
> I hope you're all ready for that chapter. (Take that as you will) 
> 
> Thank you all for reading and I hope you enjoyed!   
> PLEASE leave Comments and/or kudos if you did!   
> I love reading comment! Thank you to those of you who left comments last chapter!   
> I hope you all have a great day/night where ever you are!


	24. Crush

“Hey!” 

Chelsea? Chelsea is here? I can’t visit Nico with Chelsea here! 

“I...I was just passing by. I’ll see you later,” I lie. 

I can just come back later. Come back when Chelsea isn’t here. 

Chelsea laughs and grabs my arm before pulling me along with her. “Sure you were. Liar.” She turns around a smiles at me. “You were coming to check in on Nico, right? We can go together.” 

Oh no. 

She pulls me along with her and we take the route up to Nico’s room. She finally lets go of my arm when we get to there. She slides it open and yells, “Happy New Year.” 

Nico turns away from the book he was reading and smiles. “Happy New Year.” His gaze goes past Chelsea towards me. “Will. Don’t slack off just because you got through the prelims. You should be practising.” 

You’re the one who told me to visit everyday. And not practise too much. 

“I’m not slacking.”  

Nico shrugs and points at the chairs in the room. Chelsea takes the ones closest to him, and I sit in the other one across from Nico’s bed. 

Chelsea leaps into some story of something that happened at school today and Nico nods along and laughs at the proper parts. I zone out. 

  
  


Well, the hospital visit was something. Just sat around staring around the hospital room that I already know by heart. I really should have just left and gone later. I hate being a third wheel. 

Or something. I never felt like this when it was with Lou Ellen and Cecil. Maybe it was because they were both my friends. I barely know Chelsea and I haven't known Nico for anywhere near as long as I’ve known them. 

And like Lou Ellen said…

_ “They both obviously have a crush on each other.” _

Nico likes Chelsea and Chelsea like Nico. 

I’m just a substitute. An accompanist. Friend A. 

I don’t have any part in what they have. Nowhere close. 

 

***

_ “Will. You’re going to catch a cold if you sit out here in the rain.”  _

_ “I couldn’t find Butterscotch anywhere, Lou. I looked everywhere. The junkyard. The bridge. But she wasn’t anywhere. She’s going to die if she stays out in the cold. Even though I knew that Dad was about to get rid of her I still didn’t say anything. I just let him throw her out. I didn’t even try. They’re all right! I’m just some heartless puppet that Dad created!”  _

_ Will… _

_ “That’s not true at all. You do have a heart and there are tons of good things about you. Like….uhhh….”  _

_ Why can’t I think of any at the top of my head. Stupid Lou. Stupid.  _

_ “You’re running around looking for Butterscotch like your life depends on it. That means you care about her. And that also means that you regret letting your dad get rid of her. You want to tell Butterscotch that you’re sorry. You do have a heart Will. You have really big heart. It’s just that you’re so good at hiding it, you sometimes forget that you have one. It’s hidden so well even you can’t find it. But it’s there. And if you can’t find it, then I’ll find it for you!”  _

_ I’ll find it. I’ll never give up. I’ll find it and I’ll show him how wrong he is.  _

_ “I promise I’ll stay by your side forever, so you won’t lose your way or have regrets. So you don’t forget that you have a giant heart.” _

  
  


“Are you visiting Nico at the hospital?” 

“Yeah. He’s really weird, Lou. He tells me to check on him regularly, but when I go to visit him he tells me that if I have time, then I should practise more. I don’t get him.”  

Maybe he’s giving you an out in case you ever want to leave and never come back. 

“You better keep visiting him, Will.” 

“Duh.” 

We walk for a bit in silence before Will stops. I stop next to him and turn to him confused. I follow his line of sight and my eyes land on Chelsea. 

“Chelsea? She must be here to visit Nico too.” 

Will frowns before quickly forcing a smile and turning towards me. “It looks like it’s about to rain. I didn’t bring an umbrella. We should just go home.” 

What? Why doesn’t Will want to visit Nico anymore? Because of Chelsea? But why would that matter? He was fine with me going with him. It’s like he’s jealous or someth...oh. 

  
  


We don’t even make it half way home before it starts pouring. Both of us run to the closest shop with one of those inclined roofs and take shelter underneath it. The rain getting faster and loudly splashing on the ground. 

“I wish it would snow instead of rain,” I complain. 

“You’ll take that back once it starts to pile up.” 

“Maybe. But it’ll be pretty before we start to hate it.” 

“Yeah. Really pretty.” 

I smile and look behind me. It looks like we ended up in front of some convenience store. 

“Did you want something?” Will asks. 

I shake my head. “I’m good.” 

Will shrugs. “Nico would probably take the opportunity and have me buy one of everything in the store.” 

He smiles slightly like he’s remembering some sad story. I frown. That’s not the look he should have when he talks about Nico. He should look happy and have that shiny look in his eyes. He shouldn’t look sad. He shouldn’t look so defeated. 

“I know why you didn’t want to see Nico,” I start. “You didn’t want to go with Chelsea there. Jealous.”

“That’s not it,” Will defends looking away. 

I scoff. “Liar.”

Will sighs. “I just didn’t think that we should get in their way.” 

“That’s not it. You’re also jealous. You can’t stand being around them because you’re jealous.” 

Will looks my way confused, and I scowl. How can’t he see it? How can’t he see that he’s avoiding Nico because it hurts? How can he not see how much he likes him?

We’ve been friends since we were kids. I can tell when you’re hiding something. Even when you’re trying to hide it from yourself. 

“You like Nico, Will.” 

Will’s cheeks turn pink and he turns away. “I don’t.” 

I shake my head. “Don’t lie to yourself Will. I know you. I’ve seen how you look when you talk about him. You always have these fond smiles on your face. And you always try to look annoyed, but you’re really smiling.” 

“I don’t have a crush on him, Lou. I don’t. I...” 

I interrupt him. “Your eyes always sparkle when you talk about him.” 

That shuts him up. He looks over at me quickly before looking down. 

I continue, “Your eyes started sparkling again Will. And they started sparkling more when you talk about him.” I turn towards him. “It’s like you started seeing the world in color again.” 

_ I was talking to some girls the other day, and one of them said that the world is more colorful when you’re in love. You have a sparkle in your eyes.”  _

“I have a crush on him,” Will whispers horrified. 

“Yeah. A really obvious one. Even I can tell.” 

He stares at the ground terrified, and I sigh. 

“That isn’t a bad thing Will,” I comfort. 

“He likes Chelsea. This wasn’t supposed to happen.” 

Chelsea. Chelsea. Chelsea. 

“Will!” He flinches and turns towards me. I continue, “I’m the one who said that Chelsea had a crush on him and he liked her back. I’m usually wrong. You know that.” 

“But you’ve seen them. You’re probably right this time.” 

Oh boy. 

“Maybe. Maybe in the beginning they did like each other. Maybe they still do. But that doesn’t mean that your feelings are bad. What’s important is figuring out what you feel. And maybe Nico likes you back and maybe he doesn’t. The only person who knows is him and anyone he tells.” 

Right now would definitely not be the best time to tell Will that Chelsea told me that she liked him. But she hasn’t mentioned that in a while. Maybe she doesn’t like him anymore. 

“They’re really close friends, but that doesn’t mean they like each other back. You and Nico are really close too.” 

“I like Nico,” Will whispers. 

Was he listening to a thing I said? 

“Yes Will. You like Nico. Embrace it!” 

“Embrace it?” 

I nod my head. “Your feelings are important. And personally, I don’t think it’s impossible that Nico likes you back.” 

“I wasn’t supposed to like him in the first place.” 

“But you do. So accept it and figure out what you’re going to do about it.” 

“Pretend that it doesn’t exist?” 

Seriously?

“No...you’re going to tell him.” 

“What?!” Of course that’s his reaction. “I can’t tell him! Not now!” 

“Will!” 

“No!” He sighs. “I can’t tell him now. We’re both going through enough right now. I’ll...I’ll think about it, but I’m not telling him until after things calm down.” 

I look towards him worriedly. “Just don’t wait so long that it become too late,” I whisper. 

Will doesn’t say anything in reply. 

***

 

I have a crush on him. I have a crush on him. I have a crush on him. 

“Will!” 

I shout in surprise and fall backwards out of the piano seat. Lee looks down at me with a disappointed look. I roll over and lay down on the floor. 

“You’re not focusing,” he observes. 

I  have a crush on him. I have a crush. 

“Will!” 

I snap out of my thoughts and look back up at Lee. He sighs. 

“The finals are in February. That’s only a bit more than a month away. You need to put your all into this. This one competition might be the thing that gets you into a music school. The thing that decides your future. You need to take it seriously. You’re up against the best.” 

Focus Will. Focus. 

Don’t think about him. Don’t think about him. Don’t think about him. 

Don’t think…

  
  


“You don’t have to come to the hospital anymore,” Nico says from the other side of the phone. 

“Huh?” 

He’s the one who wanted me to visit. Does he not want to see me anymore? Is he trying to get rid of me?

“The final’s are coming up soon,” he continues. “You probably want to practise more. You should be practising more.”

“I’m practising,” I whisper. 

“Nothing’s too much,” he pauses. “But remember to take some breaks. Don’t work too hard. Hangout with Lou and Cecil. You don’t have to visit me everyday. Doing well at the finals is more important.” 

It’s not that much more important. I still want to talk to you. And see you. What if...what if after one month I never see you again?

“Anyway, that’s all for now. Get some rest. Bye!” 

_ Beep. Beep. Beep.  _

What the hell is up with him?! Why do I even have a crush on this jerk?!

  
  


Does he actually hate me? Is it something I did? Is he mad at me for eating his chocolate last week? Or maybe the last cake piece sitting on his nightstand? Or maybe when I accidentally dropped his water all over him? 

A cat runs past and I stop for a moments for continuing on my way home. 

I sigh. Maybe it’s because I never say anything when I’m visiting him. Maybe I bore him when I do talk? 

I look down and the cat that just ran past is now walking next to me. That’s cute. 

I look back forward. 

I still want to see him, but if I don’t have to visit him than I have no excuse to. I don’t want to go a month not talking to him. 

I get snapped out of my thoughts by my phone vibrating in my pocket. I quickly pull it out. Feeling vibration is so weird. I look at who called me. 

Nico? Why is he calling again? Did something happen? 

I pick up and bring the phone to my ear. “Nico?” 

“There’s an airplane in the sky. And the sky is really clear. It’s so pretty!” 

What? 

I look up, and sure enough, there’s not a cloud in the sky, so a blanket of stars is visible in the sky, and there is an airplane flying in the distance coming in this direction. 

“It is really pretty,” I reply. 

“You  _ can  _ see it too! That’s great. We’re really all connected under one sky, huh?” 

“Yeah. I guess.” 

Connected under one sky. That’s a nice way to put it. No matter how far apart we are, we’re still looking up at the same sky….as long as you’re still on the same planet. 

“Well, that’s all.” 

“Huh? That’s it?” 

He only called me to tell me about an airplane in the sky. 

“Yeah. Is...is that a problem?” 

He called me just to mention some random plane he saw. 

Laughter bubbles out of my mouth and Nico makes some cute confused sound from the other side.

“You told me not to come visit you anymore,” I remind him after my laughter calms down. 

He huffs. “I didn’t say we couldn’t call each other. I’m still going to call you everyday if you don’t call me first.”

I smile. “I’ll call. Don’t worry.” 

“You better.” He pauses. “I would miss you if you didn’t,” he adds with a whisper. “The airplane is flying really low!” 

I look back up at the sky. The plane is flying pretty low. There are no airports nearby though. I wonder why. 

“I really want to ride in an airplane,” Nico says. 

“You’ve never ridden in one before?” 

“I have. Didn’t move to the US on boat.” Oh yeah. “But I haven’t ridden in one since. And I wasn’t really happy when I rode it that time. Didn’t experience it properly.” 

Didn’t experience it properly. 

The airplane flies over me and I smile. “I’m going to come visit again.” 

“I said you don’t have to. You don’t have the time to waste visiting me.” 

“It’s not about the time. I want to visit you.” What possessed me to say that? Well, there’s no backing out now. “Is that a problem?” 

It’s strange. It’s like my emotions don’t know what to stay on, and the weirdest feelings start to bubble up when I’m talking to him. It’s like my heart swings back and forth from hope to despair. All of the familiar scenery I knew so well, start to look different like it got brighter, and my heart start to play some medley. 

There’s a name for this feeling isn’t it? This is what it feels like when you have a crush on someone?

  
  


“I’m going to be captain of the girl’s JV soccer team this year,” Chelsea boasts. 

“That’s awesome,” I compliment. 

I have absolutely no idea if that is actually a good thing, but I think being captain is good, so I’m going to with that. 

She nods her head with a smile though, so I’m going to assume I said the right thing. “It’s going to be hard managing everything though.” 

We step inside the elevator and she presses the button to Nico’s floor. The door closes and she looks at me. “I thought you hated coming to visit Nico with me.” 

How did she figure that out? Was I being that obvious? Did Lou tell her? 

“I...uhh...I guess I was just trying to put it off.” 

Whenever I try to compare myself with Chelsea, it’s like feeling my heart sink. She’s just...she’s just so many things that I’m not. So many things that are better than me. 

_ “You're you. Will Solace. And that's who you'll always be.” _

Yeah. That’s who I’ll always be. There’s no point in trying to compare myself with everyone else. 

The door to the elevator opens and we step out. I take in a deep breath.

“Chelsea,” I call stopping her.

She turns around and looks at me. “What’s up?” 

“I...I...I have a crush on Nico!” 

Why in the world did I shout that? What the hell Will! You were supposed to say that calmly like a normal person. Idiot. 

Chelsea stares at me for a few seconds before bursting out into laughter. 

What? Shouldn’t she be angry? Jealous? Annoyed? Why is she laughing?! What’s so amusing about this? Am I that pathetic? 

She takes in a deep breath and wipes the tears out of her eyes while I stand there awkwardly. 

“Will,” she starts, “I think the only people who don’t...didn’t already know that are you and Nico. You don’t have to look so scared telling me.” 

“But..but...don’t you like him?” 

She raises her eyebrows and purses her lips. “Me? Umm...no. Where in the world did  _ you _ get that idea from?”

“Lou Ellen,” I answer without hesitation. “And you two just look really close.” 

“Lou E...oh. Oh yeah. Umm…” She mutters something under her breathe before smiling. “Well, I can tell you right now you have nothing to worry about. Nico and I are just friends. I don’t romantically like him and he doesn’t romantically like me. I promise you that.” 

“Oh.” 

They don’t like each other. Or at least, Chelsea doesn’t like Nico. I’ve been worrying over this for nothing. Wow. I am stupid. I wasn’t third wheeling. 

“Come one Will,” Chelsea says. “Let’s go see Nico.” 

The two of us walk side by side down the halls to Nico’s room. 

“I’m so happy you finally admitted it to yourself,” Chelsea sighed. “You better tell him.” 

“I will. As soon as things calm down.” 

_ “Just don’t wait so long that it become too late” _

A nurse runs down the hall past us pushing a cart of supplies in front of her. She turns and enters a room a few doors in front of us. 

“Isn’t that Nico’s room?” Chelsea whispers. 

No. No. No. No. No. 

It’s the door next to it. It has to be. It’s not him. It’s not him. It’s not him. 

Chelsea runs past me to the room, and I follow behind her. 

  1. That’s Nico’s room number. This is his room. 



Maybe it isn’t that bad. 

“Somebody get Dr. Davis,” one of the nurses shouts. 

This can’t be happening. This can’t be happening. 

I look inside the room and three nurses are crowded around Nico’s bed. The nurse from before is shouting at him to take deep breaths and that the doctor was coming. 

What was happening? What was happening? 

I can’t see him. I can’t see if he’s okay. Wait he’s moving. His hand his moving. He’s awake. He’ll be okay. He’ll be okay. 

“Nico? Nico look at me. Focus. You’ll be okay. Nico?” One of the nurses yells. 

The voices fade away. Nico’s hand is moving. He’s okay. He’s okay. He lifted it up. It’s okay. It’s oka….

It fell. His hand fell. It fell. It fell. It fell. The nurses are yelling louder. Too loud. Too loud. 

Someone pushes me into Chelsea and she grunts. 

“Move out of the way,” he says gruffly. The doctor. The doctor is here. “We need to treat him. We need space. Leave.” 

The doctor walks inside and shuts the door behind him. 

Can’t see. Cant see. Can’t see. 

He’s supposed to be okay. I was just talking to him about donuts this morning. He was okay. 

Why isn’t he okay? 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have the next chapter written, so you won't have to wait too long for the next chapter after that cliff hanger for those of you who didn't watch the anime or read the manga. I think there are only going to be three more chapter after this one. I still need to write the second half of the second to last episode and the last episode as well as the differences, so...I'll know once I finish writing. But as of now, it looks like there will be three more chapters. 
> 
> If you enjoyed this chapter please leave comments and/or kudos!   
> Thank you all for reading! I hope you enjoyed!   
> I hope you all have a great day/night wherever you are! :)


	25. What's the Point?

It was strange. It felt like...like everything was moving too slow. Like everything was darker. But it looked familiar. And I could barely remember what happened. One minute in one place. The next second in another. 

And it hurt. But it didn’t hurt. It was like I had gone numb. Like I was barely there. 

Car? Why is that car driving so fast? How did I even get here? This is the way home right? Yeah. That’s the cafe a block away from house. This is the right way. 

What’s lying on the road? Why is there so much red? A cat? Why is a cat lying on the road? And what’s the red stuff? 

The car. Blood! The cat’s bleeding! Oh no! Oh no.

I run and pick up the cat and run towards the animal hospital. It’s left from here, right? Right? I need to hurry. The cat is going to die! That fast car ran the cat over. I need to hurry. Hurry. Hurry. 

Can’t let the cat die! 

The animal hospital. I made it. I made it. I made it. I do remember the way. Thank god. 

Why isn’t the door open? Are they closed? Why do hospitals close? It’s only 8:00...I think. 

I pound my free hand against the door while securing the cat in my other hand. “Hello!” I yell. “Is someone in there?  I need help! I need help! I can’t heal him! I need help!” 

The lights inside turn on and a man and a woman rush out. They look towards the cat in my arms and quickly usher me inside. 

“Get the X-ray ready,” the woman commands. 

The man nods and rushes to the back. The woman carefully takes the cat from me and gives me a comforting smile. “We’ll do our best.” 

“Got run over,” I whisper. 

She nods. “Okay. We’ll see what to do. You can sit here.” She points to a section of the room with chairs and couches. I watch  her rush over to the back before taking a seat. 

My eyes catch the red on my hands. Bright red. Blood. Blood. Blood. The cat’s hurt. Hurt. Hurt. Hurt. Can’t do anything. Nothing. Nothing. Nothing. Useless. Useless. Useless. 

  
  


“I’m sorry. We tried our best, but it was too late,” the woman whispers somberly. 

I hang my head and look down at the sidewalk. 

Dead. Dead. Dead. Too late. Too late. Too late. 

“Thank you for trying,” I mumble. 

The man looks straight at me concerned. “Of course we did, but...are you okay?” 

Okay. Okay. Okay. 

No. No. No. No. No. 

Dead. Dead. Dead. 

Too late. Too late. Too late. 

Nothing you could do. Nothing. 

Useless. Useless. Useless. 

“Yes. I’m fine,” I answer. 

  
  


Red. They’re still red. Why are my hands still red? I washed them. They were clean. I cleaned the blood off. Why is it still there? Why? Why? Why? 

Need to clean them. Need to clean. Clean. Clean. 

Water. Park. There’s a fountain in the park. 

Clean. Clean. Clean. 

Why isn’t the faucet thing turning on? It’s stuck. Push harder. Push. Push. Push. 

It moved. There’s water. 

Clean. Clean. Clean. Get rid of the blood. Get rid of it. Get rid of it. 

It’s still there. Still there. Get off! Get off! Get off! I don’t want to think about that cat anymore. It’s gone. The cat is gone. 

_ “Do you really think you can forget?”  _

I want to forget. Forget. Forget. Forget. 

Why won’t the blood come off?! Get off of my stupid hands! 

_ “They’ll see you cause you used these hands to play the piano again.” _

Hands. Hands. Nico’s hand fell. Fell. Fell. Fell. He stopped moving. 

Stopped. Stopped. Stopped. 

Dead. 

_ “I’m happy it was you.”  _

Nico. You were supposed to be alright. You were trying to get better. What went wrong? Why aren’t you okay? Why can’t I do anything? Why can’t I ever do anything?!

A sob spills out of my mouth as tears quickly start running down my cheeks. I loose all of my energy and I drop down onto the ground. 

What’s the point of trying if I can’t ever do anything?! 

 

***

 

_ Ring. Ring. Ring.  _

He isn’t picking up. Well Lee, there’s only one thing you can do in this situation. Use the extra key you have and march right in. 

“Will! I’m coming in!” 

Now where could he be? Maybe he’s still asleep. In his room? Accidentally fell asleep in his piano room practising? Is he even home? He better be home. I don’t want to be even more concerned worrying about why he isn’t home and not picking up his phone. 

I march up the stairs and slam open the door to his bedroom. “Will!” 

Oh...he is here. And he isn’t asleep. Why is he sitting curled up in a ball on the floor? Like...just like when he had his breakdown during his piano competition two years ago. Did something happen? 

I can’t see him like this again. I can’t. Act like I don’t notice. Act like there’s nothing to notice.

“What are you doing, Will,” I scold. “The finals are coming up and you haven’t come to practice.” 

Nothing. Not a word. Not even a twitch. 

“Come on. Get up. We’re going to practice.” 

Nothing. It’s like he’s not even here. If it wasn’t for his stomach moving up and down because of his breathing, I wouldn’t be able to tell if he was alive or dead. 

Move. Say something. What happened? Not again. 

I grab his arm in an attempt to pull him up, but he just drags across the floor like a dead weight with his head and arms hanging down. 

“I can’t do this,” he whispers. 

My eyes widen, and I turn towards him. Can’t do what? 

“I can’t do this anymore,” he sobs. “Why does it always have to end up this way?” 

End up what way? What happened? What could have possibly happe...Nico. Did something happen to him? Did he get worse? Is that why? 

“All I ever wanted to do was play the piano and help Dad get better. That’s it. I...I care about him so much. Why do the people I care about always…” His words get cut off by a sob and tears fall from his face onto the floor. “Why does it always have to end up this way? I can’t do this anymore. What’s the point in trying?”

Why does it always have to end up like this? 

  
  


“Is Will coming?”

I turn towards Holly and silently shake my head. She frowns and turns back towards the piano. 

“Damien must be practising a lot,” I mention. 

Holly looks up at me and nods her head. “He is. Always looks all excited and pumped up when he does,” he answers sadly. 

“Don’t tell him about Will.” 

“Is he...is he okay? What happened?”

“Something bad happened to someone he cares about a lot.” 

 

***

School. Can’t skip this forever. It’s already been three days. 

Three days. It’s been three days. 

I head over to my normal seat. A letter is sitting on the desk with ‘Will’ scrawled on top of the envelope in neat handwriting. I pick up the envelope and pull out the card inside of this. 

Who would send me a letter in an envelope? 

The handwriting seems familiar though. 

I unfold the letter and there’s only one sentence written on it. 

‘I want caneles.’

Caneles? Who would….

Nico.

  
  


“Hey.” 

I can’t look at him.  

“They let me come back to my room yesterday.” He lets out a humourless laugh. “That was something. It was pretty scary. First time inside an ICU. Everything is so hectic there.” 

They need to try and treat people who are dying like you were. It needs to be hectic. People would die if it wasn’t. 

Die. Die. Die. 

“You caught me at a bad time. That’s why I told you not to come to the hospital.” 

You’re the one who said it was okay if I wanted to visit. And you sent me a letter to tell me to get you caneles. 

And something comes flying in my direction and hits me in the face as Nico yells. The thing falls to the floor. A teddy bear. That would explain why it didn’t hurt. 

I finally look up at him. “What did you do that for?”

He scowls. “Don’t come to visit me and then stand there looking all gloomy. You’re going to make me even more sick.” 

Is that even possible? You look sick enough already. You’re skin isn’t supposed to be that pale. It’s like someone dulled you over everywhere. 

“Oh hey! You got me caneles. I want to eat them outside.” 

“Outside? But it’s cold?” 

“I have a jacket,” he argues pointing to a black pile sitting on the chair next to him. “And I really want to go outside. Please.” 

“How?” 

  
  


Apparently the plan was to carry him. Okay. 

I wouldn’t mind doing that again except…

“I’m not too heavy, right?” 

“No.” 

Nowhere close. You’re even lighter than you were last time. 

It was like a reminder that he was nowhere near alright. Just hearing him talk almost sent an illusion that he was going to be okay and not be sick anymore. That he was strong enough to beat the illness out of him and send it packing. But then I look at him or carry him on my back, and it’s like a slap in the face that nothing was alright. 

Why couldn't everything just be normal? I’m such an idiot. I’m such an idiot for thinking that just hoping and trying your hardest would solve anything. I was the one who was really in denial. 

I step outside. 

“It’s snowing!” Nico cheers. 

And it seems to be sticking too. Is it really a good idea to be out here right now? 

But...but if he were to...he should get the chance to be outside. 

I walk over to a bench and sit him down. He smiles and opens the bag of caneles. I stand up in front of him. 

“Have you been practising piano?” 

What am I supposed to say to this? He tried so hard to get me to play again, and I just threw all his efforts away like they were nothing. 

“I haven’t,” I admit. 

There’s no point in lying. 

“Knew it,” he whispers. 

“I can’t do it anymore. The people I care about keep leaving. And it’s always because of the piano. Why would I want to play it again? All it does is take people away from me.” 

Dad. Nico. I even almost pushed Lou Ellen and Cecil away. 

“All music is going to do is leave me all alone.”

“You still have me.” 

I turn around towards him. What is that supposed to mean? 

“I’m still here. And I’m going to have surgery. February 18th. That’s uhh...the same day as the finals, but…” He pauses. “It might help. And it might not. But I’m not going to give up anymore. I’m going to fight as hard as I can. And maybe it won’t be enough, but I’m going to try.” He smiles. “And that’s because of you. They only reason I’m trying so hard is because of you. The only reason I’m struggling to live is because of you. I don’t...I don’t want the time I spend with you to end either, Will.”  

Still here? Struggling? Live? 

But what if it’s not enough. What if it’s all for nothing like so many things are. 

I don’t want to lose you. I want to hear more about you mom and sister living in Italy. I want to hear more about space and have you point out constellation and sing Twinkle Twinkle Little Star. I want to see the way your eyes light up when you eat sweets. I want to see you playing the violin again. 

I don’t want it to be over. 

“Why aren’t you struggling, Will. We’re good at it aren’t we. It’s really hard to keep trying, but you can’t give up on what’s important.” 

Important. Can’t give up on what’s important. 

I gave up on him. I didn’t just give up on myself, I have up on him too. I gave up on Nico. 

“We’re musicians, right?” 

I clench my fists and look away from him. “I haven’t touched the piano in a week. I…” 

“It was the same thing when you accompanied me,” he interupts. 

“I still played every once and awhile. My fingers still moved like I wanted them to. I can’t play decently now! Doing that would be a miracle.” 

I can’t do this. I can’t play the piano. I don’t want. I don’t want to. I tried it again, and it ended badly again. I don’t want to play anymore. 

“You’re looking down again,” Nico whispers. 

I shrug. 

“If...if I still had my violin, I would probably be able to play somewhat decent. Like riding a bike. Or walking. You maybe a bit rusty, but you can figure out.” 

Maybe. Maybe I would still be able to play. Maybe it would be somewhat decent. But I’m competing against the best young pianists. Compared to how well they’re going to play, what I play is going to be disappointing. 

“Will,” Nico says. 

I sigh and turn around to look at him. What is he trying to do now? Whatever he says isn’t going to…

“Look! I’m standing by myself! I haven’t been able to stand with just my own two feet in months. Maybe my arms can support my violin again now too.” 

He’s standing. But...but he wasn’t getting better. He got admitted to the ICU. There’s no way he’s getting better. But he’s standing. He’s standing by himself. He hasn’t been able to stand without leaning on something in so long. 

He moves his arms and I can imagine him holding a violin and bow. I can imagine him playing something. Imagine seeing him on stage. 

“My arms still feel really tired though, so maybe not for long,” Nico mumbles. 

He looks back at me and smiles before walking towards me...or at least trying to walk towards me. He takes one step and then starts falling. I barely catch him and he both tumble down his head landing in my chest. I help him sit up and he wraps his arms around me tightly before burying his head back in my chest. 

“See miracles are possible,” Nico whispered. 

“Maybe.” 

Maybe it was possible. Maybe. Muscle memory or something. 

“Do you still drink a lot of milk?” 

That...that was random. 

“Yeah. I drink too much milk.” 

“And you like sandwiches.” 

“Yeah.” 

“And you want to be a doctor or something when you’re older.” 

“Yeah.” 

Why was he asking? 

“Lou Ellen is lucky. She knows almost everything about you. Every childhood story. Your favorite color. Your favorite book. Movie. Insect. I’m jealous. There are so many things that she knows that I don’t. So many things that I wish I knew.” 

“I don’t know everything about you either.” 

So many things that I never got to ask. 

“After my surgery, I’m going to ask you a whole bunch of stuff. And you’re going to ask me too,” Nico demands. 

If the surgery works. If you survive long enough to get a surgery done. If the surgery works well enough that you live for longer than two hours after it. If nothing goes wrong, and the surgery actually helps and you’re at least somewhat better. Then we can ask each other whatever we want.  _ Then  _  you’ll actually be here for me to ask. 

“I want to go to another cafe with you,” Nico continues. “And go shopping at the mall again. And jump off the bridge again. And go to the park. And go to an arcade or an amusement park or laser tagging or eat frozen yogurt and celebrate each others birthdays with candles and cake and presents and study for tests together and complain about homework, and…” A sob leaks out of his mouth and interrupts him. He buries his head into my chest and tightens his grip on my shoulder. 

“I want to do all of those things to,” I whisper. 

And I do. I want to hang out with him like normal teenagers more than anything right now. But the world is cruel and we’re sitting on the roof of a hospital instead of running around and throwing snowballs at each other. 

“I’m scared,” Nico sobs. “I’m so scared. Don’t leave me alone.” 

I hug him tighter. 

I’m so stupid. Of course he’s scared too. He’s the one who’s dying. He’s also trying hard to hold onto something to make it seem like he isn’t going to die. To hope that everything will turn out alright in the end. 

I can’t give up on him. And I can’t see him giving up on himself again. 

“I’m not going anywhere.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading! I hope you enjoyed!   
> Please leave comments and/or kudos if you did!   
> I love reading comments so please leave those!!!   
> I hope you all have a great day/night wherever you are!


	26. Thank You

“So today, huh?” I whisper sitting down on the edge of Nico’s bed. 

“Yeah. Someone is going to cut me open while I sleep.” 

That was one way to put it. 

“Maybe I should just stay here and skip the competition.” 

Nico clearly did not agree with that plan. He grabbed my arm and stared at me intensely. 

“Don’t skip it because of me. It’s not like you can do anything here anyways. You can come see me after the competition,” he lightly smiles and lets go of my arm. 

“If…” I cut myself off. I shouldn’t be saying that now. I didn’t need to remind Nico that this might be the last time we’d ever see each other. Or at least the last time he’d see me. 

“I’m scared,” Nico whispers. “Absolutely terrified. But I can’t back out now. And you can’t either.” 

Can’t back down. Can’t back down. 

“I won’t. I’m gonna play. And then come right back here.” 

Nico nods his head. His eyes then widen and he pulls open a drawer in the small nightstand next to him. He pulls out a small envelope and closes the drawer before looking at me. We stare at each other for a bit before Nico grabs my hand and put the envelope in it. I wrap my hand tightly around it. 

“I wrote you a letter,” Nico explains. 

A letter? Why would he write me…

In case. In case he doesn’t make it. I squeeze the envelop tighter. 

“I really need to you to know what it says, but I don’t want to tell you right now, so...open it after your competition. Open it tomorrow. After you get some sleep. Don’t read it until then. Please.” 

“I promise.” 

He smiles, but his eyes get glassy. “Thank you.” 

“It doesn’t take a lot of effort to just open a letter.” 

Except it does. I both wants to know what the letter says and wishes that Nico never gave him the letter in the first place. 

Nico laughs a little before resting his forehead against his shoulder. I wraps his hand around him keeping a grip on Nico’s with his other hand. 

“Not just for that,” Nico whispers. “For everything.” 

What does he mean by everything? There wasn’t all that much that I did. 

“Thank you too,” I reply. 

They sit silently like that for the next few minutes until a nurse comes into the room. 

“You ready to start getting ready Nico?” She asks slowly. 

Nico raises his head towards her. “One sec.” He turns towards me. “One more hug?” 

I wrap both my arms around him and squeeze tightly. It took everything in me to let go. 

 

***

 

Perfect. Good job Chiara. I did great. 

The crowd explodes into applause and cheers. I get up from my seat and bow before turning and heading backstage. 

How was that Damien? Will? I wonder how they’ll react to that performance. Scared? 

“Will?” I hear Damien’s voice say from around the corner. And it was strange. His voice was filled with concern. 

I turn the corner and find Will curled up on the floor with his head between his leg and Damien crouching down next to him with an intense look of concern. 

“Do you feel sick?” Damien asks. “Do you need an antacid? Tylenol? Cough drop?” 

“Is he trying to focus himself?” I ask standing next to them. 

Damien turns his head towards me and shrugs. “I don’t know what’s wrong with him.” 

“Number 23. Will Solace. You’ll be playing next, so get ready.” 

Damien turns back towards Will who is still curled up. “Do I need to get someone?” He asks. 

Will doesn’t say anything. The three of us stay like that until the man from before comes back ten minutes later. 

“Will Solace. Number 23. You’re next. Please wait by the wings.” 

Will lifts his head up, and he looks...tired? 

“Maybe you shouldn’t play today,” Damien suggests. 

Will shakes his head. “I need to play.” 

He stands up, but he immediately almost falls and catches himself on the wall. 

“You really don’t look good,” I say. 

“We should take you to the infirmary,” Damien stresses. 

Will shakes his head again. “I need to play. I’m fine.”

“Fine?” I question exasperated. “You couldn’t be paler! You should rest and go to the doctor.”  

He shakes his head. “Maybe. But I need to play. I promised.”

Promised who?  

He pushes himself off the wall and heads over to the stage. Damien groans, but neither of us move to try and stop him. 

The two of us go in the opposite direction to look at the stage from one of the TVs set up. We stand in front of it and watch the end of number 22’s performance. She soon finishes and leaves the stage with a bow.

The number card changes to a 23 and Will walks onto the stage looking much better than he did before. We bows to the audience before taking a seat in front of the piano. 

And then nothing. He doesn’t play. 

“What’s going on?” Damien says through his teeth. 

And then, Will just buried his face in his hands. What is going on? He shouldn’t have gone on stage. 

“We need to help him get off the stage,” Damien says already moving to leave the room. 

I grab his arm. “There’s nothing we can do.” 

Nothing.

Please Will. Be okay. 

 

***

 

“ _ Why are you even here anymore? You don't need me. Forget I ever existed and move on with your life!” _

_ “Hey...I just...I thought I’d let you know. But umm...things aren’t looking very good for me right now.” _

_ “You don't have to be here if you don't want to. I know I'm hard to be around. You don't have to deal with me. I'm sorry. _ _ ” _

I have to play. I have to play. I have to play. 

_ “You'll feel better if you forget. Actually, just forget about me all together. You'll feel lighter that way. Happier.” _ __

_ “It's not like you need some violinist who can't even hold their instrument anymore. I'm pretty useless now.” _ __

I have to play. I have to play. I have to play. 

“ _ Don’t worry. I’m sorry that’s all I make you do.”  _

I have to play. I have to play. I have to play. 

I look down at my hands. Come on Will. Play. Play. Play. You’re a pianist. You have to play. 

You have to. You have to. 

I cover my face with hands. It hurts. It hurts. It hurts. 

The audience starts mumbling, but they sound so far away. So far. So far. 

_ “You’re looking down again.”  _

I guess that’s how things are. I can’t do this. Sorry Nico. I’m so sorry. 

_ Achoo! _

What? I move my hands and turn towards the audience. Lou Ellen is sitting at the front between Cecil and Chelsea with her hands covering her mouth. 

They’re here. Lou Ellen. Cecil. Chelsea. 

Damien. Chiara. 

Lee. Holly. 

They’re all here. It’s not just me. I’m not alone. They’re are all watching me. Supporting me. 

On stage. 

The smell of dust. 

The cool air coming from the air conditioning set a little too high. 

The lights shining down on the stage. 

The feeling of being on a stage. 

“ _ Don't forget me.” _

_ “I want people to remember me when I play.” _

_ “I want music to reach the people who hear it.”  _

Play. Play. Play. Play. Play. 

The sound of the first notes echos through the concert hall before the next notes follow behind it smoothly.

 

***

 

“He’s playing,” Damien sighs in relief. 

I nod my head. And it wasn’t just the normal piece either. 

Chopin Ballade No.1 Op. 23 in G Minor.

“It sounds so deep and unhurried,” I whisper. 

Such a rich sound. So beautiful yet it sounds so sad. So gentle. So much emotion. 

It’s making my chest tighten and tears build up in my eyes. 

Amazing. This is so amazing. 

It’s like all of his notes are bursting with color. But they’re...they’re so sad. 

 

***

 

_ “Are you...thinking of someone you like? Did Will finally get a crush on someone?”  _

Looks like you were right Cecil. 

_ “That's cliche.” _

I don’t think that’s too bad. 

_ “Stop playing! Your supposed to comfort me you idiot. I swear. It’s like it wouldn’t even matter to me if you were here or not!” _

Sorry Lou Ellen. I guess I do play too much. Thanks for staying for so long. It would matter to me if you were here or not. 

_ “Take what’s holding you back and play.” _

Am I doing this right, Lee? 

Everybody’s watching. The reason I’m even playing now...the reason I’m here now is because I had all of you, the people who were in my life. The people who are a part of it. The people who made my life better than what it would be without them. 

I can’t let them down. 

_ “I’ve never been much for words. Maybe that’s why we’re musicians.” _

Yeah Damien. You’re right. 

_ “Whether you're sad, or a complete mess, or you've hit rock bottom, you have to keep playing.” _

Can’t tell the world that they were right, huh? We have to keep fighting. 

You think I can do that, Nico? 

_ “It’ll be fine! Cause we rule.” _

Keep playing. Keep playing. Keep playing. 

Cause that’s who I am. 

I’m a pianist. 

Just like you, I’m a musician too. 

Everybody’s watching. The people who brought me back to the stage. I can’t let them down. 

This is the sound that Dad taught me. 

The sound that Cecil and Lou Ellen didn’t let me give up on. 

The sound that was pitted against and grown from my battles with Damien and Chiara. 

The sound that I created together with Holly. 

The sound that Lee made me remember. 

_ “I’m scared. It’s like I’m alone at the bottom of a dark sea.”  _

_ “You’re not alone. You have me. And not just me Will.” _

It’s just like you said. If I listen closely, I’m filled with so many sounds and there are so many colors. 

I’m not alone. I never was. There are so many people who made my life what it is. Stayed by my side through it. 

I was never really alone with so many people by my side. And we’re all connected. 

_ “I’m so scared. Don’t leave me alone.” _

Dummy. You have me. And there’s no way that I’m gonna leave you alone. I’m gonna be there so much you’re going to get sick of me. 

Listen. Listen. Reach him. Reach him. 

Just kick your illness to the curb. And then one more time we can play together on stage. The two of us. 

I can imagine it. 

_ “Thank you.”  _

Huh? 

Snow? Why does it look like it’s snowing in here? You liked snow a lot. You always told me you were excited to see it. Said it didn’t snow much in Venice. 

Maybe if I close my eyes. Maybe I can see you. See you play. Maybe we can play together that way. 

Yeah. I can see you. You always smiled when we played together. Even when you were annoyed there was always a small smile on your face when you started playing. 

I guess that just made it more beautiful. 

I can hear it. I can hear it. 

Why is it so sad? Why did I pick such a bittersweet piece for this? Should have picked something happier. 

But then again since when do you follow the sheet music the whole way through. You would change it. Give a smirk and play whatever you want. Obviously. 

Sounds too sad? Make it happy yourself. 

Heh. The snow looks so colorful. Brighter even. Or...is everything else getting darker. 

Wait. Where did Nico go? Why did the violin stop. 

No. Don’t leave. Pester me for sweets more. Drag me around to places. Call me to kill time and tell me about random airplanes in the sky. Point of constellations and tell me about you sister. I don’t care if I’m just Friend A forever. 

Just don’t go. Please don’t leave me. 

I know...I know that there are other people who I care about. I know there are other people who care about me. I know I won’t be alone. I know I can play the piano again. I know that it’s not the piano that keeps hurting me. I know it’s not the piano’s fault that Dad died. That he acted the way that he did. 

I know...I know you’d want me to move on. And...and I’d figure out how to. I won’t hide myself away and ignore everyone again. Ignore the piano again.  

But...But I don’t want you to go. There are still so many things I want to do with you. 

Oh god. My tears are dripping down on the keys. It’s almost over. It’s almost over. You can finish this Will.

I press down on the last key and bring my arm up to face to wipe away my tears. 

The crowd erupted into applause and a small smile comes to my face. 

Thank you everyone. 

Thank you Nico. 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Only one more chapter left! And I already have 90% of it written, so expect it on Monday!!! 
> 
> Here's the song: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SohbADutrUE
> 
> Thank you all for reading and I hope you enjoyed!  
> Please leave comments and/or kudos if you did!  
> I love reading comments!!!  
> I hope you all have a great day/night wherever you are.


	27. Your Lie in April

After I finished performing, I found Chiara and Damien waiting for me with a water bottle and a box of egg sandwiches. I was about to break down and start crying right then, but I controlled myself and instead took the items from them calmly and thanked them. 

The three of us sat down on the floor further down the hall and Damien and Chiara launched in a series of conversation I half heartedly participated in. They seemed to notice, but neither of them mentioned anything. 

The rest of the competition went by in a blur. Once the last person left the stage, I sighed in relief. The main judge came up to the stage and told everyone that it will take some time to get the final results in, so they would send them out by tonight. Blah. Blah. Blah. 

Finally over. 

The three of us get up from our spot on the ground, and I excuse myself to go change into more comfortable clothes than my suit. I leave the bathroom in a normal shirt and pants to find Damien and Chiara waiting outside. The three of us walk back to the main room to find the people who came with us. 

Chiara soon excuses herself and we say our goodbyes. Damien and I soon found Holly and the rest of his family. Holly runs up and gives us both a hug. Damien smiles and gives me a pat on the shoulder before he walks up to the rest of his family. 

“Thank you,” I whisper to Holly who was still hugging me. 

She lets go and looks at me confused, but I just smile and pat her head. I tell her I would see her later, and we part. 

I look around the room for everyone else, and I am soon met with Lou Ellen who quickly runs up to hug me. And then immediately punch me in the arm. 

“Ow. What was that for?” I ask. 

She huffs. “I saw you Will.” She lightly punches me again. “Don’t go thinking you’re ever going to be alone. You’re stuck with me forever whether you like it or not. You got that?” 

I stare at Lou Ellen for a few seconds not knowing how to respond before a laugh bubbles out of my mouth and I wrap my hands around my stomach. Lou Ellen stares at me shocked before laughs start spilling out of her own mouth. Soon the two of us are laughing unable to breathe.

That’s probably how everyone else found us. 

“Why are you two laughing?” Cecil asks us amused. 

Lou Ellen wipes a tear out of her eye and takes a deep breathe while I try to do the same. 

“Will started it,” Lou Ellen replies. 

“Well, I’m offended. Why wasn’t I included in on this joke?” 

I shake my head and calm myself down. I love these two. 

I walk up to them and envelop them both into a hug. 

“What’s going on Will?” Cecil asks concerned. 

I squeeze a bit tighter. “Just remembering how much I appreciate you both.” 

“Aww. Will. You love us?” Cecil asks jokingly. 

“Yeah.” 

“Oh.” Cecil squeezes back. “Well, we love you too. You’re our best friend after all.” 

I let go of them and smile. “Yeah.” 

“What about me? Don’t I get a hug?” Lee asks from behind me. I turn around and immediately wrap my arms around him. He smiles and hugs me back. 

“You did great Will.” 

“Thank you.” 

“Do you want to go back to the hospital now?” 

I nod my head. He ruffles my hair and lets go of me. “Let’s go then.” 

“Heading over to the hospital now?” Lou Ellen asks. 

I nod my head. 

“Do you want us to come with you?” Cecil asks. “Chelsea already left.” He adds in as a second thought. 

She would have probably left. Her and Nico are close friends after all. 

“You don’t have to if you don’t want to,” I respond. 

“Let’s go then!” Lou Ellen shouts. 

I smile. Yeah. I’m definitely not alone. 

  
  


Lou Ellen and Cecil stay for a few hours before their parents call and tell  them to come home. Lee leaves a little while later after Sophie starts getting restless waiting. 

Once it starts getting a bit late, Chelsea and I decide to go get something to eat. Hestia was curled up in her chair with her head on her knees and wasn’t talking to anyone, so we decide to get her something too. We leave the hospital and go across the street and down the road to a plaza with a grocery store and tons of restaurants. 

“So what should we get?” Chelsea asks. 

I shrug. “I don’t know.” 

We end up finding a small pizza place and order a cheese pizza. Nothing too fancy but tastes good. As we’re walking back to the hospital, Chelsea breaks the silence between us. 

“You doing alright Will?” 

I look towards her. She seems  tired, but there’s a smile on her face.

I shrug in response. “I’m doing better than I was this morning.” 

She nods. “I was worried when you weren’t playing. But you ended up playing really well.” 

“Thanks Chelsea.” 

The hospital comes  into view, and we trek the rest of the way in silence. We enter into the hospital and make out way back to the surgery room. In the elevator Chelsea breaks the silence again. 

“I don’t think we met at a good time. We didn’t get to know each other very well.” 

I nod. Chelsea was only ever really there. She was Lou Ellen’s friend. Nico liked her. Nico didn’t like her; they were best friends. I’ve known her but it never became more than that. 

“You want to try again?” I ask. 

She smiles. “Yeah.” She holds out her hand. 

“I’m Chelsea Hawkins. It’s nice to meet you.” 

I hold the pizza box with one hand and shake her hand with a smile. “Will Solace. It’s nice to meet you too.” 

  
  


Chelsea ends up leaving a few hours later. Only Hestia and I were left. Hestia looked better after we finally convinced her to eat some pizza and she was now reading a book Chelsea’s parents had in their car. Or at least she was looking at the pages and turning them. 

She seems to notice me staring at her, and she looks away from her book and towards me. She closes her book and forces a smile. I quickly turned away. 

“You should go home and sleep Will. You can come back tomorrow.” 

I could. And I really should rest. But I couldn’t just leave without knowing if Nico was going to be alright. And I couldn’t leave Hestia by herself. 

“I’m fine.” 

Hestia nods but doesn’t say anything. I turn back to the door of the surgery room. People went in and out, but no one said anything. How long was this supposed to take. I didn’t know what they were doing. I didn’t even know what was wrong with Nico in the first place. He was definitely good at getting past that question without answering it. 

I sigh and stuff my hands in my pockets. My left hand is met with the crinkling of paper. I pull it a white envelope with my name written in neat handwriting. 

_ “I really need to you to know what it says, but I don’t want to tell you right now, so...open it after your competition. Open it tomorrow. After you get some sleep. Don’t read it until then. Please.” _

I look back to the surgery room and back towards Hestia reading her book. I stand up. 

“Actually, I think I’m going to go home and get some sleep. I’ll come back tomorrow morning.” 

Hestia smiles and nods. “Sleep well Will. I’ll see you tomorrow.” 

“Try to get some sleep too Hestia.” 

“I’ll try.” 

  
  


I somehow fell into a restless sleep and wake up feeling somewhat better at 9AM. I take a quick shower and brush my teeth before quickly eating a bowl of cereal and getting ready to leave. I put on my jacket and make sure that the letter was still in the pocket. I pull it out of my pocket and step into the chilly air closing and locking the door behind me. 

I start making my way to the hospital as I flip open the envelope and take out the letter. I stuff the envelope back into my pocket and stare at the folded up piece of paper. 

I hesitate. A part of me wants to quickly open the letter and know what it says, but another part of me wants to stuff it back into my pocket and run to the hospital. And I didn’t want to give up and think that Nico couldn’t tell me himself. 

But Nico wanted me to read it. 

I stop at a crosswalk and wait for the light to change. I look around and my eyes land on a black cat staring at me with bright green eyes. 

It’s always a cat isn’t it. I watch it as it runs away before looking back down at the letter in my hands. The light changes and I walk down the street before unfolding the letter. 

 

_ Hey Will!  _

_ It’s really weird writing a letter to you right now considering that you were just here a few minutes ago, but I need to get this all out in case I can’t say it to you. Whether that be because I’m a coward or because I die. That was kinda blunt huh? Sorry.  _

_ You know, I always thought you were supposed to be this really nice amazing person. Gary stu. Always perfect. But I was clearly wrong. You’re not perfect at all.  _

 

I smile slightly. Yeah. This was Nico. Even through a letter I can clearly tell he was the one who wrote this. 

 

_ I first met you when I was eight. My cousin's friend was going to be in some recital and he dragged me to it. You can imagine how annoyed I was. I didn’t want to spend my day at some boring piano recital. I wanted to play Mythomagic with my friends and use the swing at the playground.   _

_ I’m really glad he took me though.  _

 

I turn the corner and walk past where I first met Holly. I hope she’s doing alright. The results for the competition are probably in. I should probably check those at some point. 

 

_ I was about to fall asleep when some boy awkwardly came on stage and made everyone laugh when he bumped into his stool. He sat in front of a piano that looked way too big for him to play, and I immediately knew that it was going to be interesting.  _

 

I remember that. My first recital. I was so embarrassed when I started. I even shouted ‘I did it’ after I finished. I was such a mess. 

Who knew Nico was in that audience watching me? Small world. 

 

_ But then he struck that first note and, well, I was amazed. It was like you could see colors practically flying from his notes and the melody itself just made me so happy.  That was when I first started to admire you.  _

 

Admire me? Admire me after that mess of a performance? 

 

_ It was really weird when the girl sitting next to me started to cry though. And you looked so awkward when it happened. I hope you didn’t think she was crying because you were bad.  _

 

I definitely thought it was because I played bad. I wasn’t convinced that it wasn’t bad until Lee showed me the video. 

 

_ I went back home that day and immediately asked for  a violin. You know how that went. But at the time I really wanted a violin because I wanted to play with you.  _

_ Remember when I said that Hestia showed me a video of my favorite musician playing and that’s what inspired me to play again? That was you.  _

 

I stop walking and my eyes widen as I reread the sentence. 

What?! 

 

_ But then I heard that you stopped playing. How dare you after influencing me the way you did?  _

_ You’re not perfect at all.  _

 

I walk over the bridge we jumped over. I look down at the water. It would be a terrible idea to jump in it now. Way to cold. 

 

_ But then I saw you going to the same middle school as me and you could imagine my surprise. I was so happy. I mean you were practically my idol, and I had a chance to meet you.  _

_ I couldn’t figure out how to talk to you though. I couldn’t just walk up to you. You never really looked like you wanted to make friends. I wouldn’t be able to stand it if you pushed me away that fast.  _

_ So I tried to be more complicated. I even sat next to you the entirety of English class in seventh grade. You clearly didn’t notice though. Idiot.  _

 

I flinch and can feel my cheeks heating up in embarrassment. No wonder Nico was so mad at me. 

 

_ But really I don’t blame you for not remembering me. We never talked more than me asking for a pencil on the days I felt more confident. Or that time when you dropped your sandwich and I lent you some money. I was always happy on those days though. That sounds weird doesn’t it?  _

_ The more I observed you and saw you around, the more I realized that I wouldn’t just be able to talk to you. You were always closed off. Always just you, Lou Ellen, and Cecil. No room for me to just slip in.  _

_ You were nothing like I imagined. You weren’t perfect. But that was okay. You were still you.  _

 

I smile. He really likes nailing that into my head doesn’t he? I turn a corner and walk past the school. It was a Sunday, so there were only a few cars parked in the lot. 

 

_ I had a small surgery during the beginning of that school year too. And then I was treated regularly as an outpatient. I was in and out of the hospital repeatedly. I really can’t blame you for not remembering me, so don’t beat yourself up. I don’t want to guilt you. I missed a lot of school.  _

_ I found Hestia crying outside my hospital room once by accident. I never told her about it, but I think that was when I realized just how serious it all was.  _

 

The train bell begins to ring, and I watch as the train rushes past me. The breeze from the train blows the letter and I grip it tighter. 

 

_ And well, if I was going to die, I didn’t want my time to go to waste. So I did whatever I wanted. I didn’t really think it mattered anymore. I ate as many sweets as I could. I even went as far as eating an entire cake in one sitting,  _

_ But really I do not recommend.  _

 

A small laugh comes out of my mouth. I look towards the cafe next to me. Two girls were sitting near the piano inside. A small smile spreads across my face, and I continue walking. 

 

_ That’s when I started to play the violin in whatever way I wanted to. No more letting the music score boss me around. And then, well, I made up a really complicated plan to get you to talk to me.  _

_ I already knew Chelsea was friends with Lou Ellen, so I convinced her to tell her one lie.  _

_ That she liked me. Lou Ellen did have some weird obsession with playing matchmaker. And the habit of dragging you along with her plans.  _

 

I stop and stare the words. What the hell Nico? 

I stare at the park and stop in front of the playset. 

 

_ I didn’t really think it would work but it did. My weird plan ended up with the two of us finally meeting properly. If I can’t tell Lou Ellen myself, tell her sorry for me. I kinda used her.  _

_ It was strange. You were finally actually looking at me like I existed, and I kinda panicked and acted rudely. It was like all my filters turned off. And well, there was always some anxiety around, sometimes more than others, but I felt like I could just be when around you.  _

_ I think that was when I started seeing you more as a friend instead of an idol. I think I like you better that way.  _

 

I smile and continue walking. Leave it to him to come up with some complicated plan just to talk to someone. But then again, I didn’t really make things easier for him. 

 

_ But my plan worked way better than I thought it would. I just thought maybe we would meet once and part ways again. But after we met, I couldn’t really stop myself. I kept getting my courage up and playing the part. Playing the part so well that soon I didn’t really have to pretend at all.  _

_ You were so different than I imagined. You were a lot more negative and you didn’t pay attention to anything you didn’t find important. You were stubborn and always just wanted to spend  life by the sidelines.  _

_ Your hair was still blonde and your eyes were still blue, but they looked dulled over.  _

_ But you were still really nice.  _

_ And I think now you’re a bit more positive. And your hair isn’t such a mess. And your smile is bright. And your eyes sparkle again.  _

 

I walk past the park and continue heading towards the hospital. 

The only reason my eyes are brighter again is because you put so much effort into making sure they do. 

 

_ Jumping off of the Bridge wasn’t one of my smartest ideas, but it was so much fun, wasn’t it?  _

 

Yeah it was. 

 

_ Seeing the full moon from the music room was a great. The sky was always so pretty.  _

 

Seeing the night sky with someone you care about just makes it better. 

 

_ Singing Twinkle Twinkle Little Star with you was always fun. Thanks for that.  _

 

I like your singing voice. I’d do anything to hear it again. 

 

_ Breaking into school at night was an interesting experience. Didn’t know how much I wanted to be in a dark school until we did it.  _

_ Snow is really pretty isn’t it?  _

_ Seeing you perform on stage again was amazing.  _

_ Playing with you was even more magical.  _

_ Isn’t it funny how the most unforgettable scenes can seem so trivial?  _

 

Everything is trivial without meaning. It isn’t very trivial after that.

No one would think of eating waffles at a cafe or pointing out airplanes in the night sky the same way as someone else. 

 

_ Hey Will? You think I was able to live inside someone's heart.  _

 

You were able to live in a lot of people’s hearts Nico. 

 

_ Was I able to make a place in your heart?  _

 

You broke down the door and made yourself right at home. 

 

_ If I do die, you’ll remember me, right?  _

 

I squeeze the paper tighter. 

I don’t think there’s any way that I can forget. 

 

_ Don’t hit the reset button Will. Don’t forget me.  _

 

As if I could. 

 

_ I’m really glad I got to meet you. I’m really glad that you were my idol.  _

 

I’m really glad too. Really really glad. 

 

_ I’m so happy I was able to make so many memories with you. I hope I can make more.  _

 

I hope so to. I really really hope so. 

 

_ Hey Will. I like you. A lot.  _

_ I don’t think it’s love yet, but I think it’s close.  _

 

What? 

A teardrop falls down on the pages and my vision blurs as I struggle to read the rest. 

 

_ I’m a coward, so I couldn't tell you outloud, but I couldn’t risk you not knowing.  _

_ You started off as my idol. But then I got to meet you, and I think it just went from there. I may not have liked you when we first met in the park, but it happened somewhere between then and now. But what was I expecting. You’re amazing Will. And don’t let anyone tell you otherwise.  _

 

Nico. Nico. Nico. My legs start moving faster, but I keep my eyes on the page. 

 

_ I’m really sorry for being so harsh and acting like a brat.  _

 

You did what you needed to. Did what you needed to make me stop acting like an idiot. 

 

_ I’m sorry I always bugged you to hang out with me and bring me thing just so I could have an excuse for you to see me.  _

 

I like hanging out with you. I’m the one who used those requests as excuses to come see you. 

 

_ I’m sorry. I’m so sorry for everything Will. I’m so sorry for all of the times I annoyed you or hurt you. I’m so sorry.  _

 

You don’t have anything to be sorry for. And if there is, then I forgave you for it. 

 

_ Thank you Will. Thank you so much. I don’t know what my life would be like if I hadn’t seen your recital. I don’t know where I would be right now if we didn’t meet in the park. I don’t know where I’d be if you didn’t become my friend.  _

_ And I don’t want to die. I really don’t. But if I do please remember that you made me happy. So thank you a million times.  _

 

No. No. No. I wipe the tears from my eyes and start running. 

You’re not the one who’s  supposed to be thanking me you selfish idiot. I’m supposed to thank you. You’re the one who helped me. 

I quickly run inside the hospital and stop. Where am I even supposed to go? Back to the surgery room? There’s no way he’s still in there. No. If...if he’s okay, he’ll be in his hospital room. I take a deep breathe and walk to the elevator just as it's about to close. I press the number 4 and the elevator door soon closes. I look back at the letter. 

 

_ If I do die, please make sure to move on. Please make sure you still smile and your eyes still sparkle. Don’t push everyone away and hide.  _

_ You’re amazing and you have so much potential, so please don’t throw your life away. Please do what makes you happy. Please.  _

_ And please don’t stop playing the piano entirely.  _

 

_ -Nico <3 _

 

_ P.S. I’m enclosing something that I’ve always treasured.  _

 

Enclosing? There was something else in the envelope? The elevator door finally opens at the 4th floor after stopping on each floor and people stepping out. I walk out while trying to take the envelope out of my pocket. I continue walking down the halls as I open the envelope up, and sure enough there’s something else in it. I pull it out and flip it over. 

It’s a picture. On one side there’s a blonde haired boy with a huge smile with a small scar under his lip. He looks kinda familiar. Right next to him there’s a kid a little shorter than him standing with a pout and his arms crossed. 

Nico. Adorable little kid Nico. 

And right behind them there’s a really familiar face. Blonde hair. Blue eyes. And a piano book held in his hands clearly photobombing them. 

Small world. 

I fold the letter back up and tuck it back in the envelope along with the picture. I stuff it into my pocket as I stop in front of Nico’s door. 

I take a deep breathe and raise my fist to knock. 

The door opens before the first knock and the nurse looks at me confused before smiling and stepping away from the door. I watch her walk down the hall and turn out of sight. 

I slowly turn to look inside the room and see Nico turned away towards the window. I stay in place unable to move. 

He’s okay. He’s okay. He’s here. He’s alive. He’s still alive. 

I bite my lip and swallow back a sob before taking a deep breath and entering the room, closing the door behind me. 

Nico turns at the sound of the door closing and stares at me panicked before letting out a breath and looking down at the bed sheets. I hesitate for a second before  walking over and sitting down on the chair next to him. 

“You’re alive,” I say breaking the silence. 

Nico turns towards me and smiles nodding his head. “Looks like,” he whispers. 

“Are...are you better.” 

Nico shrugs. “I should be for the next ten years. Then we’ll see.” 

Ten years? That was a long time. Longer than a day. And who knows what would happen in ten years? 

“So you should get out of the hospital soon?” 

Nico nods and raises his arm. “I just need to start some physical therapy and regulate my medicine, and I should be allowed to leave. So another month at most if things go well. Probably less.” 

I smile and grab his hand. He looks at me confused, but doesn’t pull away, so I grip it tighter. 

“That’s good,” I whisper. I lean against the bed railing and look towards him. “So how are you feeling?” 

“Tired. And have a slight headache. Body aches. Not too bad. I think the medicine from the surgery is just wearing off. The nurse gave me some pain killers.” 

“You need anything?” 

Nico starts shaking his head, but stops and starts biting his thumb. “Umm…” 

I tilt my head and look towards him. “Yeah?” 

His cheeks tint pink and he sighs. “A hug?” 

I stare at him before a laugh bubbles out of my throat, and I can’t control it from spilling out. Nico groans and lightly flicks my head. He lets go of my hand and crosses his arm with a huff. I control my laughter and get up before sitting down on his bed and lightly wrapping my arms around him. 

Nico rests his head on my shoulder and wraps his own arms around me. “Not too tight. I did get cut open.” 

I humm in response and bury my fingers in his hair before brushing through his dark hair. “You don’t have to be that embarrassed for a hug.” 

He punches me in the back. Not too hard. Just enough that it mildly hurts for a split second. “Shut up.” 

I smile and pat his head before going back to brushing his hair. “I read your letter.” 

He tenses up for a split second before relaxing. “And?” 

“You were a cute little kid.” 

Nico pushes me me away and sends a harsh glare towards me. “Will!” 

I smile and grab his hand. “Also, I apologize again for not remembering you.” 

His glare softens and turns into a pout. “I already said that it was fine.” 

“And the world is a small place.” 

He shrugs. “I guess.” 

I tighten my grip on his hand. “Only you would think of something so complicated just to talk to someone.” 

“You didn’t make it easy.” Now there’s a small smile on his face. 

“Sorry I’m not perfect.” 

“I don’t want you to be.” 

“I want to see the night sky with you again.” 

“So do I.” 

“There’s nothing you have to be sorry for. I forgave you for any stupid thing you did.” 

“Stupid things I am still sorry for.” He looks down at his lap with a frown. 

“You were able to live in a lot of people’s hearts Nico. Including mine. I can’t forget you even if I try.” 

Definitely mine. 

He shrugs. 

“Hey Nico,” I say tilting his head up. He frowns but keeps looking at me. “Can I kiss you?” 

Nico blinks a few times emotionlessly. I wait patiently for him to respond. It doesn’t take long for his eyes to widen and  cheeks to turn pink. “Uhh…umm..you...yes.” 

I can feel my own cheeks heat up, but I laugh a little before leaning towards him. His cheeks somehow get more red. 

“You sure?” I whisper. 

He nods his head and grips my shoulder pulling me closer. “If you’re sure.” 

I lean and closer and gently press my lips against his. My eyes close shut as he pushes closer and grabs my shoulder tighter while one of my hands tightens my grip on his and I bury my other one in his hair. 

It...it feels like a million colors exploded into fireworks. Colors. Lots and lots of colors. 

We pull back and I open my eyes to find his still beat red but with a small smile on his face. 

“I like you too,” I whisper. “A lot.” 

“I like you. Thought I’d say it outloud.” 

“Repeat it as many times as you want.” 

He laughs before his laughter devolves into a coughing fit. 

“You okay,” I ask pushing away concerned. 

He nods his head but his coughing continues. 

“Do you want water?” 

He shakes his head. It takes another minute for his coughing to completely die down. 

“Sorry,” he rasps. “I ruined the moment.” 

I get up from the bed and pat his head. “How about you get some sleep?” 

“I’m fine.” 

I raise an eyebrow. “You just had a surgery.” 

“But…” 

I cut him off. “I’ll be here when you wake up. You’re stuck with me now.” I sit down in the chair and send him a fond smile. 

“Oh no,” he teases. “I already regret everything.”

I shrug. “Too bad.” 

He groans half-heartedly and lies down on the bed. I bring the covers over him, and he immediately grabs my hand. 

“You’ll actually be here when I wake up, right?” He asks with a hint of fear. 

I grip back tightly. “I promise. Unless someone kicks me out or I need to use the bathroom or some crazy emergency happens, I will be right here when you wake up.” 

He nods and gets comfortable in the bed not letting go of my hand. “You ate breakfast, right?” 

I shake my head fondly. “Yes Nico. Just go to sleep.”

I use my free hand to brush his bangs from his face. He closes his eyes, and I move my hand away, but he grabs it with his free hand and puts it back on his head. 

“It feels good,” He mumbles. 

“I figured. Sleep well.” 

It doesn’t take long for him to entirely relax. A small smile is on his face and his grip on my hand loosens. I sigh and look out of the window. 

 

They say when you fall in love the world fills with color. 

Everything you see, hear, everything you feel…

The world always used to be so bleak.Everything I saw was in monochrome. 

I didn’t really look forward to what was going to happen in the future. I honestly didn’t even care much about the present. 

But then I met him. And well, after one year? Now? 

My entire world was filled with color. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And that's the end! I gave you all a happy ending.  
> But if you haven't watched the anime, I highly recommend that you do. It's amazing. And it's probably a better experience when you watch it instead of read it. :) 
> 
> I was also thinking of maybe writing a one shot sequel or any other one shots from this world, so yeah. Maybe.   
> If anyone has any suggestion for what they want to see don't hesitate to comment them below! I'd love to write them!   
> Or send them to my tumblr: https://skyla-schultz.tumblr.com/ or just search skyla-schultz   
> It can be anything you wish you could have seen while reading or something after the ending! 
> 
> Thank you all for reading!!! I hope you all enjoyed this story!   
> Please leave comments below if you did enjoy!   
> I hope you all have a great day/night wherever you are! ^_^


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